Why do I care?

[Eveleivibe]

Hita Everyone,

This is actually nothing to do with drugs. I know someone on another forum. I read this person's story n this person lost a long lost partner. Everytime I read something about it I feel completely emotional n sad for this person n really cared about this person. I just don't understand why I feel so emotional over it. I really care for this person as a friend of course n the person completely hates n wants nothing to do with me. But whybam i so upset that he lost the love of his life. Why does it affect me so much? And why did his friendship matter to me? ((Geeze I'm so messed up). I
Mean I hate
My emotions so much. I spend time trying to bury them with codeine--- then enter suboxone which numbs them (you'd think a dream come true for me, right? Wrong. I'm trying to intensify them with alcohol as I feel empty n flat!
In 2002 I remember getting addicted to pro plus tabs (caffiene believe it or not) because they stopped me crying over things---- then I'd have 8 plus daily n would shake n end up more emotional. I've spent years trying to control my emotions...

When I were first put on suboxone 8 mg May 23 (Istill remember dates lol) i felt like I was in a kind of bubble so to speak.... My emotions were intense the way codeine withdrawal made them.... Everything was soooo INTENSE!!!! Bright, loud, sharp n it hurt so damn much.

I now feel normal. I don't suffer horrendous PMT. i'd literally have 3 weeks of PMT n 1 week of normality. But my homostasis has gone tompot since starting suboxone.... The empathy seems gone..., apart about this person losing seome after so long. Why?

Thanks for letting me have a little ponder out loud peeps. It feels good to get stuff out y'know, without judgement.... Think I'm going to enjoy it here. I'm so very glad to meet you all.
BTW, I'm EVEY XXX

 

[ad lib]

Hey Evey, welcome to Bluelight.

I don't think you are messed up. I think you're just hypersensitive. I know that I sure am. Sometimes the littlest things can set me off and just make me want to cry. It's not a bad thing to be hypersensitive, however, when it interferes with your daily living, then that's when I feel it becomes an issue.

Have you tried speaking with a doctor about this? It may be something hormonal. Also, you mention opiates. It may be your withdrawal from opiates that's causing you to be hypersensitive. When I was going through my opiate detox/withdrawal, I was very emotional.

Have you tried talking to a counselor or psychologist? Seeing my psychologist each week is tremendously helpful. It allows me to talk about and work through my feelings. Also, do you or your family have any history of past (or present) mental illness? In addition to this, do you have any hobbies that you can use to occupy your time?

xx

 

[Bearlove]

Your a caring person, somebody you classed as a good friend is hurting and this in turns upsets you - sounds pretty normal to me. Especially if it was a recent breakup / fall out etc.

Not everyone can simply switch on / off their emotions and trying to bury them with codeine / alcohol doesn't work - may take your mind of them for a short time period but can also amplify the emotions when your coming down.

As mentioned about, go to your doctors tell them how your thinking / feeling. There are a load of options available to you other than opiates / alcohol.

Good luck

 

[Jennifer007]

That's why it is said to use them at little extent. I'm sure in future you'll do nothing like you've done it. Emotionally attachment or use of cure. Be conscious about them dear.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

Well ever since I had my kid a few years back I cry about weird shit. It can be just a song on the radio etc..

Back on track it's just who you are like ad lib said your probably just a bit hypersensitive. Your okay!!!


on the plus side cry=Healthy

 

[Eveleivibe]

Hey Evey, welcome to Bluelight.

I don't think you are messed up. I think you're just hypersensitive. I know that I sure am. Sometimes the littlest things can set me off and just make me want to cry. It's not a bad thing to be hypersensitive, however, when it interferes with your daily living, then that's when I feel it becomes an issue.

Have you tried speaking with a doctor about this? It may be something hormonal. Also, you mention opiates. It may be your withdrawal from opiates that's causing you to be hypersensitive. When I was going through my opiate detox/withdrawal, I was very emotional.

Have you tried talking to a counselor or psychologist? Seeing my psychologist each week is tremendously helpful. It allows me to talk about and work through my feelings. Also, do you or your family have any history of past (or present) mental illness? In addition to this, do you have any hobbies that you can use to occupy your time?

xx

Hiya,
Thank you for your kind post. I agree that I am sensitive n take things personally. I am in therapy currently n I am also seeing a keyworker. I had a codeine addiction n am now on suboxone (wrote another thread on that).

Take care,
Evey xxx

 

[ad lib]

Being sensitive only shows that you're human I feel the more you talk with your therapist, maybe the more you'll be able to get a handle on your emotions that you feel are hard to control.

What is a keyworker? I'm in the US and as far as I know we don't have those here. Maybe it's similar to a social worker?

I've been sober off IV opiates for a little over 7 months. I quit CT and it was very difficult, but all the hardships we successfully deal with in life build character and make us a better person.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Hiya ad lib,

Thank you for your reply. Well done on being 7 months drug free n for doing it cold turkey. That's incredible. People like you inspire me.

A key worker is a drug worker. I self-referred to my local drug n alcohol service n then they allocated me a key worker, someone who manages my suboxone prescription. I see the doctor every 3 months. I'm from the UK.

Take care of you,
Evey xxx

 

[Vaya]

Pink Floyd did a great job of describing the high from opiates as feeling 'comfortably numb.' As we all know, though - those of us who have struggled to find that numbness through these drugs - the numbness eventually recedes and we're left feeling like an exposed nerve. Prone to anything that comes our way.

Constructing defenses using chemicals can often seem outwardly the most appealing decision we can make in reaction to those things we'd rather be numb to. But ultimately, exposure is the one treatment strong enough, and enduring enough, to serve as a truly long-term solution to short-term problems.

And, yes crying is amazing. I honestly think that I ought to let myself do more of it - it is, after all, one of our divine bodies' natural mechanisms for coping with grief, sorrow, loss, anger, and even happiness! It would be a shame to succumb to a cultural milieu where such an expression of self is frowned upon.