W
woeisme
Guest
There are so many things going on in my life right now, and yet nothing is happening. I feel so listless and not quite depressed but I really don't care if I go on... I'm not about to kill myself, but if I were to die tomorrow, I don't feel as though I'd be missing out on much...
I have no social life at all. I hang out with one or two people (not at the same time) once every few weeks. I work a dead-end job with limited room for advancement even though I went to school for three years and have an associates degree in humanities--It's not worth the paper it's printed on, let alone the thousands of dollars it cost to get.
I do nothing almost every day. I wake up around five (pm) normally but lately I've been sleeping until seven, eight, or nine. Once I wake up, I go on the computer. I shower around 10:30, get ready for work, and go to work. Work 12-6a cleaning, come home, surf the 'net some more, lay down around nine, fight to fall asleep... Succeed around noon, one, or two, and repeat the whole process the next day.
I've gained ten pounds in the past few months and I can't seem to lose it... I lost 45 pounds two years ago and managed to keep all of it off up 'til gaining the ten pounds...
I feel as though I can't relate to anybody. I say things I don't mean to and later regret saying 'em. For instance: My mom works for the company I clean for. Been there for thirty plus years. When I was hired, she told me not to tell anyone anything... And yet I did... And now, a guy who works in my area (not a cleaner) said he heard my mom works there... Asked who she was, said she knows her and for me to tell her hi. If I tell my mom he said hi, the first words out of her mouth won't be "Oh! I haven't seen him in so long!" or something, it'll be something along the lines of "Well, how does he know I'm related? Who'd you tell?" I just say things on impulse almost... I don't know. I try my hardest not to blab, but I always do. It's worse when I'm sober, unless I'm freaking out while on drugs...
Which brings me to one last thing: I'm out of "coke." I say "coke" because I'm so gullible I was sold what looks, tastes, smells, and has the effects like MMCAT. Now, I didn't realize it was probably MMCAT 'til after I binged on it for days and told someone on here about a weird allergic reaction I had to some fruit I had tried... My "allergic reaction" was almost symptom for symptom of adverse effects of MMCAT... I'm also nearing the end of my pot stash... I quit pot for months to get the job I have now. Went back to it shortly after getting my job (three months ago) and have smoked every day since then. I don't smoke before work only because it makes me so fucking paranoid I can't function...
...Just had to get this out there... Thank you for taking the time to read this... Pretty soon I'm going to call a doctor (I say "a" instead of "my" 'cause I don't have a physician... I'm a few years older than 18 and last year I was still going to a pediatrician) and schedule a physical... Also going to have him/her test me for ADD... Long story made short but I think it may be an underlying issue...
:-/
I have no social life at all. I hang out with one or two people (not at the same time) once every few weeks. I work a dead-end job with limited room for advancement even though I went to school for three years and have an associates degree in humanities--It's not worth the paper it's printed on, let alone the thousands of dollars it cost to get.
I do nothing almost every day. I wake up around five (pm) normally but lately I've been sleeping until seven, eight, or nine. Once I wake up, I go on the computer. I shower around 10:30, get ready for work, and go to work. Work 12-6a cleaning, come home, surf the 'net some more, lay down around nine, fight to fall asleep... Succeed around noon, one, or two, and repeat the whole process the next day.
I've gained ten pounds in the past few months and I can't seem to lose it... I lost 45 pounds two years ago and managed to keep all of it off up 'til gaining the ten pounds...
I feel as though I can't relate to anybody. I say things I don't mean to and later regret saying 'em. For instance: My mom works for the company I clean for. Been there for thirty plus years. When I was hired, she told me not to tell anyone anything... And yet I did... And now, a guy who works in my area (not a cleaner) said he heard my mom works there... Asked who she was, said she knows her and for me to tell her hi. If I tell my mom he said hi, the first words out of her mouth won't be "Oh! I haven't seen him in so long!" or something, it'll be something along the lines of "Well, how does he know I'm related? Who'd you tell?" I just say things on impulse almost... I don't know. I try my hardest not to blab, but I always do. It's worse when I'm sober, unless I'm freaking out while on drugs...
Which brings me to one last thing: I'm out of "coke." I say "coke" because I'm so gullible I was sold what looks, tastes, smells, and has the effects like MMCAT. Now, I didn't realize it was probably MMCAT 'til after I binged on it for days and told someone on here about a weird allergic reaction I had to some fruit I had tried... My "allergic reaction" was almost symptom for symptom of adverse effects of MMCAT... I'm also nearing the end of my pot stash... I quit pot for months to get the job I have now. Went back to it shortly after getting my job (three months ago) and have smoked every day since then. I don't smoke before work only because it makes me so fucking paranoid I can't function...
...Just had to get this out there... Thank you for taking the time to read this... Pretty soon I'm going to call a doctor (I say "a" instead of "my" 'cause I don't have a physician... I'm a few years older than 18 and last year I was still going to a pediatrician) and schedule a physical... Also going to have him/her test me for ADD... Long story made short but I think it may be an underlying issue...
:-/
