Who to speak to - suicidal intent

[xdc256]

I have had a worsening physical illness for a number of years, of moderate severity, but it takes away all quality of life.

I have held on for 6 years, i can probably hold on another 1, but I am getting worse and there will be a point where I cant control my symptoms anymore with the methods that I have.

I am pragmatically looking at suicide in the medium to long term (unless there is a dramatic improvement in my condition).

I need to speak to someone face-to-face about my situation:
-Cant speak to family because they would do everything in their power to stop any self-harm
-I dont have any friends I could speak to about this

Ideally, I would like to speak to regularly and build a relationship with a psychiatrist, but I dont think that I can do that, since confidentiality doesnt extend to suicidal intent (which I guess this is, rather than ideation).

I am in Australia.

 

[stardust.hero]

I think that if you explain that you have thoughts of suicide but aren't looking at the immediate action, shouldn't you be able to speak to a psychiatrist about it without the fear of them taking precautions? I think they will understand and hopefully you will be able to speak beyond just the suicidal thoughts and get deeper into speaking about possible reasons why you are having them. Psychiatrists are usually very good at what they do and about taking cues and asking the right questions to understand where a person is and how to respond and help them.

 

[morpher001]

See a GP, they will refer to to a psychologist. With a GP referral, you will get a series of i think 12 heavily subsidized appointments.

What is the physical condition?

 

[badfish45]

I believe that confidentiality is held unless a direct comment that indicates that you intend to kill yourself goes through. I could be mistaken though, but I think that you should try to talk to a psychiatrist. I've told my counselor about my past and present suicidal thoughts and it has remained completely anonymous. Don't let that be what's holding you back, explain to them what you've explained to us in this thread, because this is something it really seems that you need.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Ideally, I would like to speak to regularly and build a relationship with a psychiatrist, but I dont think that I can do that, since confidentiality doesnt extend to suicidal intent (which I guess this is, rather than ideation).

Yes, you can still definitely do that, but perhaps (as stardust sugggested) you could describe it as suicidal ideation and not quite intent. The very fact that you WANT to talk to someone about this, rather than just following through on it first, indicates that you really do want help and deep down you actually don't want to end your life right now. Please seek help

I would suggest that you go to your GP, explain your situation brielfy and ask for a referral to a good psychologist and also to go on the Medicare Mental Health plan. Your GP will have to fill out a form for Medicare to get you on the plan which will take about half an hour. Then take it from there.

I wish you all the very best. Please take care of yourself and try to stay positive. Things WILL get better. Let us know how you're doing okay?

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Visit your doctor immediately. Walk in there and simply say 'I believe I am suffering from depression', and they will take it from there. Sounds like a difficult thing to do, but once you're there the words will come out. I did the same thing about a year ago (I had no suicidal intent) and it was surprisingly easy. You don't have to reveal the extent of your thoughts to the GP, and you don't even have to say it to any psychiatrist straight away. However, please say it to them when you feel ready, they're not going to section you unless they think you are at immediate risk of harming yourself.

Much love.

 

[xdc256]

I suffer from fibromyalgia with significant autonomic symptoms, which has progressed fairly quickly and very constantly. As it has progressed, my doctor and I have needed to find more and more methods to deal with the symptoms as the older methods are no longer effective / not effective enough. My doctor (and many, many other doctors I have seen) have all acknowledged that something is amiss physiologically, but there is nothing in their field that they can do to treat me. I guess that is the story of fibromyalgia in a nutshell, really.

I dont really want to get into specifics of the condition itself, but among other drugs, I've been on the treadmill of escalating doses of opiates and benzos for a while now, and barring some really left-field experiments, upping the doses of those is really all that any of my doctors have to offer. I just see that without some sudden upswing in my condition (not counting it out, but I certainly cant count on it), there will be a point in the future, not in the immediate term but not too long from now, when I've exhausted that list of options for controlling my symptoms. In that case, I see suicide as a pragmatic option.

I have seen more than one psychiatrist before - one for over 2 years. This one said that frankly, this is a physiological problem and that they cant fix that, only optimise what I have around me. I made a number of positive changes in my life, but after all of this, it didnt matter to me since I was feeling SIGNIFICANTLY worse, since the underlying condition had worsened so much. Would going back to such a doctor be of any use at all? Possibly, but its a bit like trying to bail out the titanic with a coke bottle.

I dont want to go down the standard mental health route because my PRIMARY problem isnt one of mental health. I dont want treatment for mental illness, I want treatment for these symptoms that have robbed me of any quality of life for years now. While I'm not going to stop trying, unfortunately I dont see that ever coming (by which I mean real treatment, not symptom control). Symptom control, as I said, is a not sustainable indefinitely. I just want these symptoms to go - that is why suicide is on my list of options.

 

[Miss Kirsty]

xdc256 I have sent you a Private Message...A PM in Bluelight lingo..Please go and check for it whenever you want...All the best M.K


And Badfish, you are right in your post..

 

[morpher001]

I suffer from fibromyalgia with significant autonomic symptoms, which has progressed fairly quickly and very constantly. As it has progressed, my doctor and I have needed to find more and more methods to deal with the symptoms as the older methods are no longer effective / not effective enough. My doctor (and many, many other doctors I have seen) have all acknowledged that something is amiss physiologically, but there is nothing in their field that they can do to treat me. I guess that is the story of fibromyalgia in a nutshell, really.

I dont really want to get into specifics of the condition itself, but among other drugs, I've been on the treadmill of escalating doses of opiates and benzos for a while now, and barring some really left-field experiments, upping the doses of those is really all that any of my doctors have to offer. I just see that without some sudden upswing in my condition (not counting it out, but I certainly cant count on it), there will be a point in the future, not in the immediate term but not too long from now, when I've exhausted that list of options for controlling my symptoms. In that case, I see suicide as a pragmatic option.

I have seen more than one psychiatrist before - one for over 2 years. This one said that frankly, this is a physiological problem and that they cant fix that, only optimise what I have around me. I made a number of positive changes in my life, but after all of this, it didnt matter to me since I was feeling SIGNIFICANTLY worse, since the underlying condition had worsened so much. Would going back to such a doctor be of any use at all? Possibly, but its a bit like trying to bail out the titanic with a coke bottle.

I dont want to go down the standard mental health route because my PRIMARY problem isnt one of mental health. I dont want treatment for mental illness, I want treatment for these symptoms that have robbed me of any quality of life for years now. While I'm not going to stop trying, unfortunately I dont see that ever coming (by which I mean real treatment, not symptom control). Symptom control, as I said, is a not sustainable indefinitely. I just want these symptoms to go - that is why suicide is on my list of options.

Although there doesn't seem to be anything clear about fibro, there does seem to be some suggestion that some mood stabilizing drugs can help improve the primary symptoms, as well as helping with any depression which may have crept up on you.

Could it be that an ever increasing regimen of opiates and benzos are as problematic as they are helpful?

Perhaps replacing that with say Paxil (for mood and pain), Lyrica (for pain) and a magnesium supplement (for muscles); maybe could be just as effective with less collateral? I found this interesting: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0009841/

But medication aside, it sounds like what you are really looking for is a support group. The opportunity to speak with other people who share your condition and truly understand what you are going through could be great for you. Perhaps your GP could help you find one in your area?

All the best.

 

[badfish45]

@ OP - I double checked to make sure - patient confidentiality is held under all circumstances unless the patient threatens to hurt themselves or another person. E.g - you can talk about the fact that you're suicidal but if you say "I want to kill myself tonight" or if you talk about any plans of wanting to go through with killing yourself someday, then they would most likely have to contact a family member or a hospital, so just keep that in mind. You've been in my thoughts, hang in there

 

[xdc256]

@morpher001:

Believe me, I've tried them all. Antidepressants from all of the major classes (currently on a combo of 2) including MAOIs, a few different mood stabilizers/antiepileptics, pregabalin/gabapentin (currently on gabapentin), pain meds of all different types. This is what I mean when I say that I feel that I am exhausting the list of options - some did nothing at all, the others had some benefit but they became useless as my symptoms became worse.

I currently attend a support group. I have seen more than one psychiatrist (like I mentioned), physical therapy, a few alternative therapies, I have tried just about every supplement available to me thats recommended for this. None of it really helped, but more importantly, it all seems to be based on the assumption that things are stable - that things are fucked up, but not that theyre rapidly getting worse. Thats a problem, they ARE getting worse (and doing so in a very constant, predictable way), and there is a point at which the day-to-day symptoms just become too much.

The opiates and benzos are an absolute neccesity for me, and my doctors acknowledge this. They are horrible drugs to be dependent on, but there is no doubt it, without them I'd have thrown in the towel a long time ago. My dilema is - what happens when even they dont do the job anymore. It would be terrifying to think that in such a situation, I would have no option other than to endure the symptoms.


@badfish45:

Thanks, good to know. I still have reservations that I cant be COMPLETELY open and honest, like I'd have to be constantly watching what I say. For example, "I plan to kill myself in one month unless I find a cure", "I plan to kill myself in 6 months unless my symptoms improve", "I plan to kill myself if my symptoms become too much" - I feel I could never be sure how close I am to the line.

Another question - in Australia, concerning suicidal thoughts/intent etc, are there any provisions for communication between the psychiatrist and the GP? Ie are there any caveats for reporting to the GP in any circumstances, or does confidentiality just mean confidentiality?