Hi back folks!
The thing with my gf have not been going well at all during the recent period: instead of seeing a significant growth of her understanding, love and affection; together with greater freedoms (and I don't mean she should let me cheat, but merely not control my cellphone every minute and sneaking around my stuff when I am not there) and overall rise in her qualities (for ex. her going to the gym, removing jovenails-which was by the way suggested by her doctor, learning something new-like being able to cook something other than just make a salad and warm up canned stuff), I've seen a dramatic drop in effective qualities and a significant rise in OSD behavior, obsessing and questioning me if I might be gay (since I have one feminized friend, which is by the way just friend of a friend). When I explained that I don't want (for now) to kick the guy and "wipe him like a bug under my shoe" (which my gf demanded), since the guy might be useful for running some errands since I am very busy...she started obsessing blaming me for having people around just for the sake of using them and that I don't respect her wishes and don't care about "deeper relationships" with people. When I questioned the sincerity of her own relationships with her friends and the fact that none of her female friends has a boyfriend, she got extremely defensive, claiming that I am a shallow person since I don't call my mother to talk every day (like she does, and btw she is 25) and that I don't appreciate family (although I told her many times that I'd like to have kids and strongly oppose divorce).
Everything culminated with her contacting my friends and questioning them about their sexuality and motives for being friends with me (and she saw those people just once if at all), and even disclosing some very private informations, the act which I protested heavily. I got extremly angry and threatened divulging her private informations which could lead potentialy (but unlikely) to her parents loosing jobs. She took this as over-reacting and started obsessing over that threat and admitted that she was even considering killing me (probably as a preventive measure) claiming that it would be better since I look at the world in a too much strategic and calculated manner. (Someone was talking about the freedom of opinion?)
It's as I can see now fundamentaly a clash of two completely different worlds: her idealistic view of world and endless obsessions with "having substance", "right kind of love" (who the fuck invented that concept in the first place?), "right way of loving" and other philosophical nonsense she uses in order not to move her butt and still feel like a princess
and my world, in which is perfectly acceptable for a woman to tell me on the first date that she is intrested in my just for the money or career prospects, or to admit to her most strange dreams or fetishes, or to ask me a favor to behave in a specific way in front of influential people or "advertise her around" so she can climb the corporate ladder or such, as long as there is trust and loyality involved. Why should we blame the people who are with someone just for money or something else? It's beautiful. The money is just a characteristics of a person, just like blue eyes or broad shoulders or "intelligence" or "humor"...Having money is being yourself, and women should like the guy being himself. Is there really a place and time for philosophies, deep talks and such?
So I should decide whether to leave the house myself and:
-appear as a dog who came at her will, and departed at her will since he is no more cute or the owner "changed feelings" (someone said loyalty?)
BUT
Put myself in a more favorable position (see bellow)
or make her leave since I am the one who signed the house renting contract and:
-live next 6 months with her brother who co signed the rent, in cold war obviosly
-remain isolated for next 6 months far away from Campus, missing social opportunities and possibility of making new friends
-pay more since she will default
BUT
Have a satisfaction of me looking at her back as SHE retreats?
After all it's her who wants it.
What is your advice?
The thing with my gf have not been going well at all during the recent period: instead of seeing a significant growth of her understanding, love and affection; together with greater freedoms (and I don't mean she should let me cheat, but merely not control my cellphone every minute and sneaking around my stuff when I am not there) and overall rise in her qualities (for ex. her going to the gym, removing jovenails-which was by the way suggested by her doctor, learning something new-like being able to cook something other than just make a salad and warm up canned stuff), I've seen a dramatic drop in effective qualities and a significant rise in OSD behavior, obsessing and questioning me if I might be gay (since I have one feminized friend, which is by the way just friend of a friend). When I explained that I don't want (for now) to kick the guy and "wipe him like a bug under my shoe" (which my gf demanded), since the guy might be useful for running some errands since I am very busy...she started obsessing blaming me for having people around just for the sake of using them and that I don't respect her wishes and don't care about "deeper relationships" with people. When I questioned the sincerity of her own relationships with her friends and the fact that none of her female friends has a boyfriend, she got extremely defensive, claiming that I am a shallow person since I don't call my mother to talk every day (like she does, and btw she is 25) and that I don't appreciate family (although I told her many times that I'd like to have kids and strongly oppose divorce).
Everything culminated with her contacting my friends and questioning them about their sexuality and motives for being friends with me (and she saw those people just once if at all), and even disclosing some very private informations, the act which I protested heavily. I got extremly angry and threatened divulging her private informations which could lead potentialy (but unlikely) to her parents loosing jobs. She took this as over-reacting and started obsessing over that threat and admitted that she was even considering killing me (probably as a preventive measure) claiming that it would be better since I look at the world in a too much strategic and calculated manner. (Someone was talking about the freedom of opinion?)
It's as I can see now fundamentaly a clash of two completely different worlds: her idealistic view of world and endless obsessions with "having substance", "right kind of love" (who the fuck invented that concept in the first place?), "right way of loving" and other philosophical nonsense she uses in order not to move her butt and still feel like a princess
and my world, in which is perfectly acceptable for a woman to tell me on the first date that she is intrested in my just for the money or career prospects, or to admit to her most strange dreams or fetishes, or to ask me a favor to behave in a specific way in front of influential people or "advertise her around" so she can climb the corporate ladder or such, as long as there is trust and loyality involved. Why should we blame the people who are with someone just for money or something else? It's beautiful. The money is just a characteristics of a person, just like blue eyes or broad shoulders or "intelligence" or "humor"...Having money is being yourself, and women should like the guy being himself. Is there really a place and time for philosophies, deep talks and such?
So I should decide whether to leave the house myself and:
-appear as a dog who came at her will, and departed at her will since he is no more cute or the owner "changed feelings" (someone said loyalty?)
BUT
Put myself in a more favorable position (see bellow)
or make her leave since I am the one who signed the house renting contract and:
-live next 6 months with her brother who co signed the rent, in cold war obviosly
-remain isolated for next 6 months far away from Campus, missing social opportunities and possibility of making new friends
-pay more since she will default
BUT
Have a satisfaction of me looking at her back as SHE retreats?
After all it's her who wants it.What is your advice?
