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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Venting Who else is surprised they did not die from overuse?

I know if him - he set up Exchange Supplies and they REALLY put a lot of effort into HR right down to exactly how much citric to use and so on.

I think they stock Michael's booklets' I rewrote the 'McDermott's Guide to Sedative Hypnotics' under the name Delia Venus Wynn. If people knew it was me, they would wonder 'how does this guy know so many details?'

Well not as you might imagine. But I also had to leave stuff out like the fact Heminevrin capsules can be injected... but you have to be quick, it melt's the plastic. It was thought that it might promote such use. How did I know? A friend did it in front of me.

So being the only sober one in the room, I'm usually the one to apply the naloxone...
 
I did a lot of No Nos like mixing Oxys (200-260 mgs) Xanax (6-8 mgs) and Coke (God knows how many grams) & Coke Booze and Benzos and Quietapine (quantities unknown but significant as I was pretty fucked) . But I ve only Odded once (with Ived smack cut with ...poison afaik back in Italy) and I was about to OD with coke once (snorted 6?7?8? grams one day and had an ' Ok This is it!"moment but I popped some benzos and calmed down). Totally not recommended risky behavior that with the two exceptions mentioned supra never led to "serious " consequences like waking up in ER -jail- loose my job and or my brain so I always had the idea of being the Ultimate Functional Immortal Junkie, which is a super dangerous BS belief indeed.....maybe I ve a good genetic & my ROAS are "safer" but still wtf....
 
I'm often surprised and extremely grateful. I used to do really sloppy CWE with either ibuprofen or paracetamol and just drink litres of sludgy shit. Injected heroin with absolutely terrible hygiene and developed abscesses, drove under the influence of high dose pregabalin, booze, benzos, opiates, used to sometimes take hits of N20 at stoplights, mixed so many different drugs, snorted random powders I found, etc. Ridiculously foolish stuff, and it wasn't just me that survived. I'm lucky I didn't kill anyone with my absolutely insane stupidity. I still suffer from the guilt of some of the more reckless things I did, like being absolutely fucked on benzos and driving with my eyes closed. 😑

But survived it and somehow saw the light and am now living a "normal" life, free of all that horror. Never again.

Hopefully anyone going through the dark place knows there is light just up ahead. ❤️
 
Extreme levels of drinking between 19-22 which would've given the vast majority of people alcohol poisoning, mixing benzos with opiates, benadryl and other downer herbs in particular had me waking up a few times realizing I wasn't breathing. Valium and Percocet are really dangerous, I'm on Valium but whenever I was prescribed Oxy (last year sinus surgery, this year wisdom teeth), I mixed the two anyway knowing of the risk. Percocet isn't really something I use normally. I'd say this ranks lower than most people, but they were scary moments. I'm not sure how many people wouldn't get alcohol poisoning or worse from 40 shots, but that's how I'd drink particularly around 19-20. After that it was mostly a strong 40oz and getting comfortably buzzed and stoned which became my favorite way to drink, no longer downing entire handles and then having beers after. Nowadays, alcohol sickens me, been sober for a little over 3 years.
 
To quote my friend:

“Three miracles of christmas. First is that your even alive. Second that you can talk. And third that you can say something that makes sense.”

I don’t think it’s not such a miracle I’m pretty sane and my brain still serves me but as for being alive, yeah, I was sure as fuck I’m gona join club 27 but hey, here I am
 
I should have been dead a thousand times over. Either I'm extremely lucky, or God has a reason for keeping me around. I try to be the best man that I can be, to pay the universe back for keeping me alive.

I won't go into too much detail because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging (not that being a drug fiend is anything to brag about), but there were times where I took over 50mg of Ativan in a 24-hour period and washed them down with multiple beers!

I've been a real idiot over the years, but at least I've learned from it.
 
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