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  • AADD Moderators: andyturbo

Who are you on MDMA?

Really interested to read other peoples views
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as to what fat tony said about it being fake like creating a fake self or when a random stranger comes up to you and starts talking cod shit about anyhing it feels like a fake conversation. I see where you are coming from but you have answered it yaself why it feels like this its when ya abuse the drug or use it too much that it starts to get like this. But then it is the same with any drug, it all starts to just feel fake after a while. Ya start to think too much about how ya should act socially on a particular substance and it just doesnt seem right anymore and ya just dont let it all go. Then ya look at that random stranger acting the way they are acting, and they seem fake. Then ya look at yaself and you seem fake. All comes from overuse of a substance i think anyway.
 
normally i am a senior executive with a multinational corporation but under the influence of MDMA i turn into an overalls-wearin, bald, hairy-backed, fat midget who lives in an Alabama trailer park with his wife/sister and spends his days swilling slabs of no-brand beer on a plastic-covered couch, watching the shopping channel and Mexican wrestling reruns.
 
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My god I didn't know my Dad posted here LOL! OK just realised I didn't actualy answer the question way, way up there. Under the influence I'm usually either A) Very self absorbed in my own feelings and will spend the whole time trying work myself out B) A complete meance to dance floors or C) Trying to work out other peoples problems.
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Dancing, the eternal quest to mash my ankles into dust.
 
I had a period of about a year where everytime i went pilling was fantastic. Textbook case.
Then some shit went on in my life and every time i tried to pill, it always turned into paranoia and anxiousness, very negative. ie: i broke up with my g/f, and we tried to relive the experiences we used to have and went pilling together but it was just plain nasty. We both got very vunerable and uncomfortable. Very hard to let go and enjoy ourselves. Too much on the brain is the way pills get destroyed.
Now it seems i can roll properly again (textbook symptoms hehe) without this, as i sorted out those issues in my life.
But this is what i reccomend for people who have bad experiences on GOOD drugs:
Find how to stop your head talking. To start rolling, you need to let go. Thats the hardest thing to do sometimes. Dancing would make me anxious and wouldnt let my body relax. Overstimulation is the problem. This happened to me once and i only started to roll once i locked myself in the toilet and stared at the wall for 5 minutes. The simplicity took over. Then A + B started to equal C and things started going well in my head.
I find that no people you are with can fix the problem its always something you have to conquer yourself. Find some space and some way to let go and clear your head. A joint may or may not help. It could relax you or it could make the issues more complex and hard to deal with in your head.
If the stimulus isnt working, then take a step back. If you arent enjoying the stimulation get away from it. Find your simplicity then go back, and the stimulation should flow nicely. I hope this makes sense.
 
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