I don't regret drugs, it's made me who I am and affected the people i've met and become friends with. I've pretty much been round the drug cart a few times and have gained the reputation for handing large amounts. Not that I wanted that, nothing to be proud of, but it was fun. I actually met some people that named gurning like a fool on pills after my first name, following after partying with me. How embarrassing I had met them twice and not again till 10 years later when I found out this. I've pushed several drugs to extreme, had fun, mostly, seen several years of the hardcore rave scene, I wouldn't have missed that for the world. My memories are unique and mostly positive. I have remained a functioning human, and was a professional til I fucked my legs up.
However, I have suffered from mental health problems, which started when I was a child and I don't know how getting smashed a lot helped here, it's simply escapism. I hate being straight headed to this date and doubt I never will know what effect it has had.. But some of the people i've met through 22 years of the music scene have become my best friends, I wouldn't change that, even for savings and health.
My downfall drugs are benzos and opiates as well as the ability to use the clearnet, then darknet to be offered pretty much what I want. Bad combo if u have savings and issues in your life. I have lost a lot and could lose more.
I wish I'd never had access to benzos, or been put on IV morphine with pump in hospital when I smashed my legs up on a train track, that seriously helped my recent H habit, having had a taste for it from pressing that button for morphine in intensive care.
I wish I'd never been shown how to IV, or been introduced to IV crack/H combo... bye bye savings and hello new problem, which I am now trying to beat, made harder by permanent chronic phantom limb pain.
None left to try without going to crazy RCs which I'm always a bit wary of.
Bit of a complex answer with two sides of the coin.
