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When you thought...

frostyangel

frostyangel

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 20, 2002
Messages
1,628
Location
pa
I have these feelings ...
like I'm dying inside.
Nothing really remains as I
begin to become numb.

And I really can only look back,
forward was an option that was
taking away from me.

I am suffering, with no answers.
To questions I only have to answer too.

I thought that I have dealt with all the pain
I have had inside all these years.

My world is falling apart,
and all I can do is watch it.

I fell into this blue funk.
I can not pick myself up from this mess
it seems.
I can not find the energy to care for
myself, let alone anything else.
I do not even blink anymore when a
tear falls from my eyes.
I do not feel good enough for anything..
let alone anyone else.
What is this feeling of unambition?

I feel as if I am so immobilized that I
could stop breathing.

I want to believe that having all these
faults makes me who I am.
So, why do they make me the worst
critic I would ever want to meet.

Up until this point I thought all
my wrongs we're right, and
apparently it's pushing you away.

I never know the words to say
I never know how to fix anything that
goes wrong.

I can not keep a straight thought.
And I fall weak in the knees around you.
I could be myself around you, but not
myself at the same time. I feel as if
the spiral has spun out of time, and
I'm standing here with open arms.
I will catch you faster than I would
catch myself.

When you thought you found someone....
they are suppose to make everything better.

Will you?​
 
Whew...this looks like a beautifully sad stream-of-conscienceness type poem...are you sad? I'm sad, too. Let's be sad together...sad + sad = some kind of solace, right?
 
^^nor as incomplete.

This really echoes the numbness and emotional exhaustion I'm feeling right now, I could rally relate.

I'm standing here with open arms.
I will catch you faster than I would
catch myself.
Click to expand...

Isn't this always the truth, the last person we try to fix is ourselves.

*hugs*
 
The last person we try to fix is ourselves, isn't it? I never really thought about that. During my downfall, I thought about myself alot, about things like "oh, shit, the withdrawl is gonna suck" and stuff like that. But, I guess I never thought about how I was trying to make everyone else think that I was fine when I wasn't. I never would have had my life ruined by meth if it weren't such an egotisical drug.
 
twighlight, we could be sad together any day(aim frostyE1331)... I thank everyone for reading.. it definitely uplifted my spirits.. I've been feeling not much of use to anything lately.. and not so good at anything that I have been doing..

:/
 
Yeah I can relate to this too... not a good place to be.

I'm standing here with open arms.
I will catch you faster than I would
catch myself.
Click to expand...

I hope you catch yourself, then throw yourself back into the sky, find your wings (again?). :)
 
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