Sunday Sept 12, 2004
Elena had had the sort of day that started out so crappy that it seemed it would never end. As the day progressed, different twists and turns were added, and as her day was coming to an end, late into the night, she saw a woman about ready to carry away the portable cooler she had put out for the trash collector. There was always a homeless person or a junkie that would put whatever one didn't want to good use. Tonight was no exception. Passing the woman in the alley, Elena told the woman she'd best drain the water before attempting to drive away with the cooler. Elena parked her car, then proceeded to help the other lady by draining the cooler, putting the wheels on it, and how the thing worked. The stranger she was talking to was very gracious and explained she lived in a garage and that the cooler would be a big help. Elena remembered her days living in a garage, once upon a time, 8 years ago. Thank Christ it had been winter instead of summer or she would have roasted indeed. "I know you from somewhere," the stranger said.
Elena wasn't surprised at first cause this woman looked like one of the many drug addicts she treated at her last gig at a methadone facility. However, that wasn't where she knew the stranger from cause she had never had her as a client or she would have remembered. Elena remembered all her clients. "We used to work together at Birth Control Institute in the back office as nurses," said the stranger. Slowly recognition started to sink in. "What's your name?," Elena asked the other woman. "Ana," she said. Then it all fell into place. That had been 16-17 years ago. She and Ana had worked side by side in a facility that performed terminations of pregnancies among other things.
"Yeah you and I would smoke some joints after work at your Mom's place and get ripped! Juan and I have some killer weed if you're still into that stuff..," said Ana. "No gave it up 10 years ago, but party with meth on and off these days," said Elena. "Besides I've got to stay clean for a while. I've been out of work. Just got a new job." "Oh yeah? Where you working?," asked Ana. "The methadone clinic in East LA," said Elena. "NO way chica!!!," Ana started to laugh. "I go to the one down the street here," said Ana. That was the very same company she, Elena had worked for not 8 months ago. "You, you're on methadone?," said Elena. "What happened?"
"Well I went with a doctor for a couple years. He was very fond of pharmaceutical cocaine and morphine. I developed a taste for both." said Ana. "And heroin?," asked Elena. "Yes that too." "Can you get any speed?," inquired Elena. "Sure," replied Ana as she lowered her low cut dress to reveal what looked like a teenager or 8 ball of a white powdered substance. "Juan fucks like a race horse on the shit. Shit man that's all he ever wants to do!," "How long he been doin meth?" "10 years now." "I'm surprised he doesn't have limp noodle if he's doin it every day. It's either that or they fuck non stop with a constant woody," said Elena. Laughing, Ana said, "He's the other kind. That's probably why he isn't home now. He's been gone 6 hours." "He's probably out scoring dope and tweekin." "Not this guy, trust me."
As the night grew later, the two ladies exchanged numbers and said their goodnights. "Here give me a hug, chica. It was great seeing you. Call me tonight or come on by and get high if you're bored." "Maybe some other time. I have work in the morning. Great seeing you girl." Hugging each other like friends they hadn't seen in years, each lady departed for the night to her own bed. How trippy it was to see what the years had done to Ana. And to her.
Sept 16, 2004
Four days later, Elena was still thinking about her chance encounter with Ana. On the one hand as with many users, Ana was alot of fun, but in Elena's case, alot of fun on the down side met alot of trouble. Tread carefully, Elena warned herself. Part of her wanted to rip up the paper or simply, "forget about" the incident and move on. She was asking for trouble. However speaking of trouble, Ana had mentioned having been to prison 3 different times. All for drugs or due to drugs, of course. Still, there was this other matter with Pablo, an inmate at some state prison who according to him, had a tidy trust fund that he needed access to, but his family wasn't cooperating. He had to fork up a couple grand by the end of November, and if he didn't, he'd spend another 3 1/2 years. He needed a wife to access the funds to free himself and would award said wife in kind handsomely. Although she was assuming this deal was a no go, too good to be true, still she was researching it. Who would be able to shed some light on this situation about this story then possibly one who has done time herself?
Picking up the phone, she called her friend and in 10 minutes was acquainted with Ana's world. She lived in a detached garage of a house owned by her grandmother with her boyfriend Juan. Her mother lived in the house, as well as her grandma, and her son. It was a nice size 3 bedroom house, but modest. Ana's garage environment was one much nicer 100%, no doubt about that. They had a high bed, makeshift kitchen, toilet, living room, couch, a little dressing area, and curtains to provide privacy for the bed to be out of vision. There was a washer and dryer, air conditioner, and clothes hanging everywhere from the pipes. As she was led into Ana's world of plush cushion couches, to a place obviously decorated in a feminine style, she was introduced to Juan, her boyfriend, her mother Linda, and sat down with her hosts. "Do you do shit?," asked Juan as he handed her a loaded pipe full of meth.
"Thankyou," said Elena taking the offered pipe. Taking a couple hits, then passing it to her mom Linda, the circle soon became quite the social scene. She saw Linda taking nips from a bottle of vodka in her purse, and doing a couple lines of meth on a mirror. Juan was smoking weed and meth, so was Ana. "Elena and I used to work together, huh Elena? We had some good ole times," Ana said to the room. "Ana darling, I have a bit of a problem I was hoping you could shed some light on." "What's you're prolem dear?" Elena proceeded to explain. Ana responded with lots of answers. "You picked the perfect person to answer THAT question. She knows all the ins and outs of prison."
"Trust me there are plenty of ways to find out if this man be taking you for a ride. What's his number?" Elena told him. "He's probably tellin you the truth so far. The time element sounds legit." Ana provided some very helpful information. The kind of information she was leery about going to a lawyer about perhaps wasting money and making a foolish ass out of herself not being able to present all the facts right. The information she was after, was after all, a bit out of the ordinary. "I don't want to be stuck married to someone without all sorts of grief attached," Elena explained. "You won't. Him being a felon is grounds for divorce easily or annulment," said Ana with confidence. She definitely knew her subject matter. She was glad she was not in Ana's place though.
Later on, Ana and Juan joined Elena at her apartment a block away in order to get away from her grandma and son who were being very loud and belligerent. This did not sit well with Elena. Loud and belligerent drew cops. No one wanted cops. Juan asked Elena if she wanted to buy any meth, so she bought a dime and her friend Dave bought a dime. All of them partied into the night, until dawn crept in and Elena had to shower and dress for work. She took a couple of mild pain killers to calm her ass down, then went off to work while Ana and Juan went home. "Come by after work," they said. "Will do," said Elena. She did.
Sept 18, 2004
After 5 weeks clean, it was amazing what even that small amount of meth could do. Ana's place she found out soon enough, was a regular drama scene. After work on Saturday, she rested and got a few hours sleep on Ana's couch. When she woke up, Ana asked her to go with her to a thrift store to do some shopping. God almighty Ana was every bit the spending addict she was and then some. What didn't sit well with her though was, she found out later, Ana had asked her to do some shop lifting, to which Elena of course refused. Why would Ana being a 3rd striker and all want to even THINK about shoplifting when the penalty promised 25 to life? Noooo thankyou! Yet she did. Juan and she were having a fight, and Juan was pissed at what she had done. "Elena covered me!," retorted Ana. "WHAT THE HELL YOU SAYIN? I DID NO SUCH THING!,"retorted Elena. "Jesus Ana! Fuck me purple! You are NOT going to go back and lift MORE tonight! No way!" Lowering her voice to be a bit more gentle, she knew she'd better employ another tactic to get Ana to change her mind. Juan demanding that she couldn't only fueled the fire even more. Plus, Elena really did have a bad feeling about this.
"Look Ana, call me crazy if you want to, but sometimes I know things. Sometimes I see things. All my life, if I got a feeling telling me that something wasn't right and did it anyway, I got fucked. This is one of those times. I've never been wrong," said Elena with silent authority. "What the fuck man, this has been the day from hell. First work, now this. We don't need all this fighting." Then Elena started to cry. It was the combination of the lack of sleep, the dope, the anxiety, the sadness, and then the relief when Ana said she believed her and that she would not go shoplifting that night. "I don't want you getting busted," said Elena. "No not me. I know what I'm doing," said Ana. Sigh. At least she was giving it up for that night.
Elena made a mental note never to go shopping with Ana again. "Here, you want I should fix you a shot?," asked Ana. "Is that black tar?" "Jyes, you like. It calm you down. Make you feel much better." So finally the day did come. Here at last. Consenting to a shot of the big bad boy. Black tar was nothing she knew compared to the product back east. Still....Plus Elena had a tolerance from her pills she'd taken on and off for 16 years. "I fix you shot from the cottons. Not too strong." When Ana presented her with a new outfit full of a liquid up to .5, she was shocked. Gary had always said, a little bitty dab will do ya, but Gary was used to quality shit too. "Na not too much. Jyou see? I do thees much," holding up a syringe of 4cc. jimminy Cricket! But then again Ana took 60 mg methadone daily, building up tolerance.
After Ana did hers, she reminded Elena to push slowly, which she did. Soon, a warmth wrapped her up and she felt a pleasant glow. Then she did another one. Finally she felt relaxed. Elena cried, her friend held her. It was a bit of affection, something she missed. It was comfort. "There now chica, you rest for a leetal while."
Sunday Sept 19,2004
Heroin hadn't been such a big deal she thought it to be, but that was just as well. She didn't want to like it so much. Sleeping Sunday after work, she woke up with nasty menstrual cramps. In severe pain all day, it was well into the afternoon, when Ana woke her up. "Here is a leetal more for the pain." Bless Ana. She had run out of painkillers and money. She took the 2 shots offered, but first asked to see the dope. Ana showed it to her, put it in her hand. "THIS is what all the fuss is about? It looks like a raisin." It smelled slightly of vinegar. "Very expensive raisin! Good though." Once again, she felt warmth and a bit of serenity. Later she really felt much better when a friend/dealer dropped by and gave Elena a line of meth. The depression was gone. After a while, she went home to sleep in her own bed. She had 2 days off work to sleep. And she slept well. She didn't talk to Ana again for a couple days, but did call her back Tuesday. Ana called saying she had meth for her friend Dave if he wanted to buy more still. When she did call back, Ana was in pieces. "It's George! Please come. George had a stroke yesterday and he's in a coma." George was the childhood friend Ana had introduced her to only the day before. He seemed a nice enough chap. He was a 52 year old musician/heroin addict.
Walking into the garage, Ana looked crushed. When she saw Elena, she ran into her arms. Shhhhhhh. Shhhhhh baby girl. I'm sorry babe. "I love him so much. He's like a brother I never had. My own brothers treated me like caca! He was on parole, they threatened him with life if he didn't get clean. They force him. Now look what happen!" "Let's go to him," said Elena calmly. She did later that day. In the mean time, she and 4 other junkies on behalf of George, joined hands in a circle, and Elena led in prayer. "Lord, none of us is perfect. You know our hearts better than we know ourselves. Father God, You say in John 14:14 "If you ask anything in my name I will do it." Father we believe you. We know your love can heal our brother George. We ask that you help George and if it be Your will, that he may live, and if he may not, please guide his spirit to your love. Please we ask in the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost, Amen." The circle squeezed hands. There was a moment of real unity and power. She was sure George would not live much longer. Ana gave her 2 shots of heroin, although weak compared to hers. That was fine by Elena.
Thursday Sept 23, 2004
Elena stayed away for 4 days. She didn't want those shots to become a habit. Or the meth, either, so she took a break. After work, she went over to see Ana and was told of George's miraculous recovery. What a humbling experience. Prayer seems to have more power in numbers. One person was good, but 5.....damn! That was the 2nd time 5 people got in a circle that week at Elena's request, and damned if it didn't work! "All this time, the runny nose, watery eyes, I thought it was allergies or a cold!," said Elena. "You know what the 1st symptom of kicking is?" "What?." "Yawning." Fuck a duck she had done alot of that that day. Now she couldn't stop. She hadn't done pills or shots. Ana gave her a couple. Then she nodded out. Elena got a hit of meth off Dave. It was mellow. That was good. tomorrow she would pick up her pills at the pharmacy and leave the heroin alone. Let Ana have her whole supply. Elena didn't want or need another monkey.
Elena had had the sort of day that started out so crappy that it seemed it would never end. As the day progressed, different twists and turns were added, and as her day was coming to an end, late into the night, she saw a woman about ready to carry away the portable cooler she had put out for the trash collector. There was always a homeless person or a junkie that would put whatever one didn't want to good use. Tonight was no exception. Passing the woman in the alley, Elena told the woman she'd best drain the water before attempting to drive away with the cooler. Elena parked her car, then proceeded to help the other lady by draining the cooler, putting the wheels on it, and how the thing worked. The stranger she was talking to was very gracious and explained she lived in a garage and that the cooler would be a big help. Elena remembered her days living in a garage, once upon a time, 8 years ago. Thank Christ it had been winter instead of summer or she would have roasted indeed. "I know you from somewhere," the stranger said.
Elena wasn't surprised at first cause this woman looked like one of the many drug addicts she treated at her last gig at a methadone facility. However, that wasn't where she knew the stranger from cause she had never had her as a client or she would have remembered. Elena remembered all her clients. "We used to work together at Birth Control Institute in the back office as nurses," said the stranger. Slowly recognition started to sink in. "What's your name?," Elena asked the other woman. "Ana," she said. Then it all fell into place. That had been 16-17 years ago. She and Ana had worked side by side in a facility that performed terminations of pregnancies among other things.
"Yeah you and I would smoke some joints after work at your Mom's place and get ripped! Juan and I have some killer weed if you're still into that stuff..," said Ana. "No gave it up 10 years ago, but party with meth on and off these days," said Elena. "Besides I've got to stay clean for a while. I've been out of work. Just got a new job." "Oh yeah? Where you working?," asked Ana. "The methadone clinic in East LA," said Elena. "NO way chica!!!," Ana started to laugh. "I go to the one down the street here," said Ana. That was the very same company she, Elena had worked for not 8 months ago. "You, you're on methadone?," said Elena. "What happened?"
"Well I went with a doctor for a couple years. He was very fond of pharmaceutical cocaine and morphine. I developed a taste for both." said Ana. "And heroin?," asked Elena. "Yes that too." "Can you get any speed?," inquired Elena. "Sure," replied Ana as she lowered her low cut dress to reveal what looked like a teenager or 8 ball of a white powdered substance. "Juan fucks like a race horse on the shit. Shit man that's all he ever wants to do!," "How long he been doin meth?" "10 years now." "I'm surprised he doesn't have limp noodle if he's doin it every day. It's either that or they fuck non stop with a constant woody," said Elena. Laughing, Ana said, "He's the other kind. That's probably why he isn't home now. He's been gone 6 hours." "He's probably out scoring dope and tweekin." "Not this guy, trust me."
As the night grew later, the two ladies exchanged numbers and said their goodnights. "Here give me a hug, chica. It was great seeing you. Call me tonight or come on by and get high if you're bored." "Maybe some other time. I have work in the morning. Great seeing you girl." Hugging each other like friends they hadn't seen in years, each lady departed for the night to her own bed. How trippy it was to see what the years had done to Ana. And to her.
Sept 16, 2004
Four days later, Elena was still thinking about her chance encounter with Ana. On the one hand as with many users, Ana was alot of fun, but in Elena's case, alot of fun on the down side met alot of trouble. Tread carefully, Elena warned herself. Part of her wanted to rip up the paper or simply, "forget about" the incident and move on. She was asking for trouble. However speaking of trouble, Ana had mentioned having been to prison 3 different times. All for drugs or due to drugs, of course. Still, there was this other matter with Pablo, an inmate at some state prison who according to him, had a tidy trust fund that he needed access to, but his family wasn't cooperating. He had to fork up a couple grand by the end of November, and if he didn't, he'd spend another 3 1/2 years. He needed a wife to access the funds to free himself and would award said wife in kind handsomely. Although she was assuming this deal was a no go, too good to be true, still she was researching it. Who would be able to shed some light on this situation about this story then possibly one who has done time herself?
Picking up the phone, she called her friend and in 10 minutes was acquainted with Ana's world. She lived in a detached garage of a house owned by her grandmother with her boyfriend Juan. Her mother lived in the house, as well as her grandma, and her son. It was a nice size 3 bedroom house, but modest. Ana's garage environment was one much nicer 100%, no doubt about that. They had a high bed, makeshift kitchen, toilet, living room, couch, a little dressing area, and curtains to provide privacy for the bed to be out of vision. There was a washer and dryer, air conditioner, and clothes hanging everywhere from the pipes. As she was led into Ana's world of plush cushion couches, to a place obviously decorated in a feminine style, she was introduced to Juan, her boyfriend, her mother Linda, and sat down with her hosts. "Do you do shit?," asked Juan as he handed her a loaded pipe full of meth.
"Thankyou," said Elena taking the offered pipe. Taking a couple hits, then passing it to her mom Linda, the circle soon became quite the social scene. She saw Linda taking nips from a bottle of vodka in her purse, and doing a couple lines of meth on a mirror. Juan was smoking weed and meth, so was Ana. "Elena and I used to work together, huh Elena? We had some good ole times," Ana said to the room. "Ana darling, I have a bit of a problem I was hoping you could shed some light on." "What's you're prolem dear?" Elena proceeded to explain. Ana responded with lots of answers. "You picked the perfect person to answer THAT question. She knows all the ins and outs of prison."
"Trust me there are plenty of ways to find out if this man be taking you for a ride. What's his number?" Elena told him. "He's probably tellin you the truth so far. The time element sounds legit." Ana provided some very helpful information. The kind of information she was leery about going to a lawyer about perhaps wasting money and making a foolish ass out of herself not being able to present all the facts right. The information she was after, was after all, a bit out of the ordinary. "I don't want to be stuck married to someone without all sorts of grief attached," Elena explained. "You won't. Him being a felon is grounds for divorce easily or annulment," said Ana with confidence. She definitely knew her subject matter. She was glad she was not in Ana's place though.
Later on, Ana and Juan joined Elena at her apartment a block away in order to get away from her grandma and son who were being very loud and belligerent. This did not sit well with Elena. Loud and belligerent drew cops. No one wanted cops. Juan asked Elena if she wanted to buy any meth, so she bought a dime and her friend Dave bought a dime. All of them partied into the night, until dawn crept in and Elena had to shower and dress for work. She took a couple of mild pain killers to calm her ass down, then went off to work while Ana and Juan went home. "Come by after work," they said. "Will do," said Elena. She did.
Sept 18, 2004
After 5 weeks clean, it was amazing what even that small amount of meth could do. Ana's place she found out soon enough, was a regular drama scene. After work on Saturday, she rested and got a few hours sleep on Ana's couch. When she woke up, Ana asked her to go with her to a thrift store to do some shopping. God almighty Ana was every bit the spending addict she was and then some. What didn't sit well with her though was, she found out later, Ana had asked her to do some shop lifting, to which Elena of course refused. Why would Ana being a 3rd striker and all want to even THINK about shoplifting when the penalty promised 25 to life? Noooo thankyou! Yet she did. Juan and she were having a fight, and Juan was pissed at what she had done. "Elena covered me!," retorted Ana. "WHAT THE HELL YOU SAYIN? I DID NO SUCH THING!,"retorted Elena. "Jesus Ana! Fuck me purple! You are NOT going to go back and lift MORE tonight! No way!" Lowering her voice to be a bit more gentle, she knew she'd better employ another tactic to get Ana to change her mind. Juan demanding that she couldn't only fueled the fire even more. Plus, Elena really did have a bad feeling about this.
"Look Ana, call me crazy if you want to, but sometimes I know things. Sometimes I see things. All my life, if I got a feeling telling me that something wasn't right and did it anyway, I got fucked. This is one of those times. I've never been wrong," said Elena with silent authority. "What the fuck man, this has been the day from hell. First work, now this. We don't need all this fighting." Then Elena started to cry. It was the combination of the lack of sleep, the dope, the anxiety, the sadness, and then the relief when Ana said she believed her and that she would not go shoplifting that night. "I don't want you getting busted," said Elena. "No not me. I know what I'm doing," said Ana. Sigh. At least she was giving it up for that night.
Elena made a mental note never to go shopping with Ana again. "Here, you want I should fix you a shot?," asked Ana. "Is that black tar?" "Jyes, you like. It calm you down. Make you feel much better." So finally the day did come. Here at last. Consenting to a shot of the big bad boy. Black tar was nothing she knew compared to the product back east. Still....Plus Elena had a tolerance from her pills she'd taken on and off for 16 years. "I fix you shot from the cottons. Not too strong." When Ana presented her with a new outfit full of a liquid up to .5, she was shocked. Gary had always said, a little bitty dab will do ya, but Gary was used to quality shit too. "Na not too much. Jyou see? I do thees much," holding up a syringe of 4cc. jimminy Cricket! But then again Ana took 60 mg methadone daily, building up tolerance.
After Ana did hers, she reminded Elena to push slowly, which she did. Soon, a warmth wrapped her up and she felt a pleasant glow. Then she did another one. Finally she felt relaxed. Elena cried, her friend held her. It was a bit of affection, something she missed. It was comfort. "There now chica, you rest for a leetal while."
Sunday Sept 19,2004
Heroin hadn't been such a big deal she thought it to be, but that was just as well. She didn't want to like it so much. Sleeping Sunday after work, she woke up with nasty menstrual cramps. In severe pain all day, it was well into the afternoon, when Ana woke her up. "Here is a leetal more for the pain." Bless Ana. She had run out of painkillers and money. She took the 2 shots offered, but first asked to see the dope. Ana showed it to her, put it in her hand. "THIS is what all the fuss is about? It looks like a raisin." It smelled slightly of vinegar. "Very expensive raisin! Good though." Once again, she felt warmth and a bit of serenity. Later she really felt much better when a friend/dealer dropped by and gave Elena a line of meth. The depression was gone. After a while, she went home to sleep in her own bed. She had 2 days off work to sleep. And she slept well. She didn't talk to Ana again for a couple days, but did call her back Tuesday. Ana called saying she had meth for her friend Dave if he wanted to buy more still. When she did call back, Ana was in pieces. "It's George! Please come. George had a stroke yesterday and he's in a coma." George was the childhood friend Ana had introduced her to only the day before. He seemed a nice enough chap. He was a 52 year old musician/heroin addict.
Walking into the garage, Ana looked crushed. When she saw Elena, she ran into her arms. Shhhhhhh. Shhhhhh baby girl. I'm sorry babe. "I love him so much. He's like a brother I never had. My own brothers treated me like caca! He was on parole, they threatened him with life if he didn't get clean. They force him. Now look what happen!" "Let's go to him," said Elena calmly. She did later that day. In the mean time, she and 4 other junkies on behalf of George, joined hands in a circle, and Elena led in prayer. "Lord, none of us is perfect. You know our hearts better than we know ourselves. Father God, You say in John 14:14 "If you ask anything in my name I will do it." Father we believe you. We know your love can heal our brother George. We ask that you help George and if it be Your will, that he may live, and if he may not, please guide his spirit to your love. Please we ask in the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost, Amen." The circle squeezed hands. There was a moment of real unity and power. She was sure George would not live much longer. Ana gave her 2 shots of heroin, although weak compared to hers. That was fine by Elena.
Thursday Sept 23, 2004
Elena stayed away for 4 days. She didn't want those shots to become a habit. Or the meth, either, so she took a break. After work, she went over to see Ana and was told of George's miraculous recovery. What a humbling experience. Prayer seems to have more power in numbers. One person was good, but 5.....damn! That was the 2nd time 5 people got in a circle that week at Elena's request, and damned if it didn't work! "All this time, the runny nose, watery eyes, I thought it was allergies or a cold!," said Elena. "You know what the 1st symptom of kicking is?" "What?." "Yawning." Fuck a duck she had done alot of that that day. Now she couldn't stop. She hadn't done pills or shots. Ana gave her a couple. Then she nodded out. Elena got a hit of meth off Dave. It was mellow. That was good. tomorrow she would pick up her pills at the pharmacy and leave the heroin alone. Let Ana have her whole supply. Elena didn't want or need another monkey.
