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when someone you love dies...

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MJane420

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Joined
Dec 25, 2010
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29
...do you smoke?

My grandma died yesterday. I live 100 miles away from my family and my mom called me up and told me that her mom died. I had just picked up a 1/4 of some really good med pot so I just started smoking. A few of my friends came over and brought beer and I got kind of fucked up. This morning I woke up and it felt like any other morning until I remembered. Now Im not really sure what I should do. I dont have any school/work today but my parents dont want me to come visit till wednesday because they dont want me to miss any school. I could work on some homework, or read a book, but seriously don't know if I want to...

Would it be bad if I reacted to her death by getting high all day today?
 
Don't get high all day. 1-2 Js won't hurt you, but keep your cool and don't smoke every day. Try once a week, and do homework. You'll have a much less depressing day if you get your shit out of the way. Then, hit up a few bros and chill at the park, or go to dinner with them. A chillin' day.
 
HA HA There were a bunch of assumptions in that response.
1. I usually smoke every day so my grandma dying wont change that. (I usually smoke in the evenings after work/school but if i dont have any work/school that day there usually isnt much stopping me)
2. I dont smoke J's too often because its kind of unhealthy. I usually use a vape.
3. Im a girl, so I dont usually hit up "bros" to chill. :D
 
Its not like its horrible physically for you to smoke all day but if your first impulse when something bad happens is to run for weed and get as high as possible, you may want to figure out why being sad makes you feel the need to smoke weed compulsivly.
 
mollycoddled said:
Its not like its horrible physically for you to smoke all day but if your first impulse when something bad happens is to run for weed and get as high as possible, you may want to figure out why being sad makes you feel the need to smoke weed compulsivly.
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^^^ She hit it on the nail.
 
My cousin took her life a few months ago... I smoked and smoked and everytime I toked I waited until it burned to inhale, which is quite a lungful...
 
This not the same thing, but when I smoked the day I put my kitty to sleep in 2007, I felt really bad about it. For one, it made me anxious, and for two I felt like shit for avoiding the pain of it - and it didn't make me less sad or able to cope with it better at all. I was a daily pothead at this time also. This was just my experience though, everyone is different.

Sorry about your grandma :(
 
Weed is my main coping mechanism.

It doesn't work very well, but it does make me completely forget about the things I need to cope with.



Smoke weed to dull the pain if that's what you want to do, just keep in mind that once the high's over the problems/issues will still be there. It's not a disgrace to your grandmother's memory to smoke in response to her death... well, in my opinion, at least.




I'm sorry, by the way. I got that same phone call Friday, November 12th. I got drunk, went walking around campus smoking blunt after blunt around 2am and ended up being... well... without getting too specific, a bit destructive. The next morning I had forgotten about the bad news and went through it all again a few days later when I next talked to my family.
 
If you usually smoke daily, then I dont see what the problem would be.
if you were using smoking to escape thinking about your grandmothers death, I would say thats unhealthy. But it sounds to me like you want to smoke, but your wondering if for some reason you shouldnt because of her death. I feel like you can still go about your normal daily activities, if thats what you wanted to do.
 
MJane420 said:
Would it be bad if I reacted to her death by getting high all day today?
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This is as subjective as a question can be.

What do you think is an appropriate way to react to/honor her death? It doesn't matter one bit what any of us think.

Please don't take this the wrong way though, I am not trying to be mean at all and I'm not trying to be all "tough love", and I fully understand in a situation like this it is normal to reach out to others for their input.

But the only input that matters at this time is your own.

Please do not fret though, your Grandmother will be among us again in approximately 7 weeks :) You just may not recognize her.
 
Just do what feels right. If the mood isn't right going into it for me, smoking doesn't fix any problems. I can't escape my problems with weed, it just pushes them aside until later. I can't have anxiety before smoking and expect it to be gone when I smoke, usually it's worse after I do. That said, I can usually calm myself out of anxiety that I face and enjoy the high, it just takes some work. I prefer to work out my problems and then smoke for maximum enjoyment, but I completely understand what you're going through.

I personally wouldn't smoke for a little while, or make sure to do it with plenty of distractions (it's so easy to get distracted when high) so that even if my mind wanders to the upsetting topic, it's easy enough for it to wander to something else and stay there. Sorry for your loss, time will heal things right up.
 
bro do what ever takes ur mind off it. but death happens man i know how u feel i lost my grams 2 years back shit sucks man but u gotta remember that shes in a better place and ull see her again one day
 
I find when smoking you can think about anything very clearly and are unable to feel "pain" from sad thoughts (if it's a strong head high).
Just relax, enjoy yourself. Do you think she'd really fault you for it? I know the sense of guilt is there but in reality: all she'd want is you to be happy, no need torturer yourself out of guilt.

Just understand the only part of her that has died is the most unimportant part. Memories of her will live on, and these are what are truly important about a person. People are defined by their past actions and those are what you should treasure. Why not toke up and just think, about everything. Just appreciate what an impact she's had on your life and now, she is at peace.

It's sad, I know, I've and I'm sure many others have experienced death of a loved one. But I was never able to cry or feel upset when I experienced the death of my Grandmother. I just understood I'd never be able to see her again. The idea she had "died" was never something I thought. How could a person so great and loving simply die? In whatever form she lives one, and as does everyone.

Doing something you enjoy is not something you should feel bad about. Doing "drugs" is only considered bad after suffering something, because of the social view of "you must be addicted 'cos it's the first thing you thought about." But funny thing is, after the funeral, people go out and drink. Don't feel bad for peoples double standards.

Hope you cheer up and I'm sorry for your loss.
 
one of my child hood friends died in a drunk driving accident in october. i got the call just as i got back from buying a swisher. with tears in my eyes i twisted off a blunt for my friend. of course its different to burn one for a buddy than for a grandmother. but for me the weed takes me away from the sadness of the event and that was what i was looking for more than anything.
 
MJane420 said:
HA HA There were a bunch of assumptions in that response.
1. I usually smoke every day so my grandma dying wont change that. (I usually smoke in the evenings after work/school but if i dont have any work/school that day there usually isnt much stopping me)
2. I dont smoke J's too often because its kind of unhealthy. I usually use a vape.
3. Im a girl, so I dont usually hit up "bros" to chill. :D
Click to expand...

If you already smoke every day, what's the problem of lighting up when your grandma dies?...

Ok, vape, fine. Cool story, woman. Then hit up a few girls. You already know what I mean, no need to be stale.
 
OK here is part 2 of my story:

The next day, after hearing the news about my grandmas death, the girl i had been dating for the past week dumped me. I told her that my grandma died and that I wasn't sure how I felt about it yet but that I would have to leave town for a few days. A few hours later she told me that she wanted "to talk" because she thinks that me and her want "different things" and that she just wants to be friends.

Yeah. FRIENDS. What kind of fucking friend tells you this shit the day you tell them news like that?
 
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