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Sad When nobody answers...

crOOk

crOOk

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
4,047
Location
Germany
I'm not talking about god, but that friend you've been most worried about. When they suddenly vanish and you know they're turned to the needle again. When you've called all hospitals and looked through all the newspapers for weeks on end. When they've sold all friends you could once call to find out what's going on. When you contemplate whether you will punch them in the face for making you cry or just give them a hug because they are the next time you see them. If you ever see that person again.

Can anyone relate?

Never miss a chance to tell people you love them! It might be your last.


PS This time - if once more I realize he's still alive and I've shed tears for nothing - I will choose the punch over the hug. FUCK COCAINE!!!!!!!!!!!
 
crOOk said:
I'm not talking about god, but that friend you've been most worried about. When they suddenly vanish and you know they're turned to the needle again. When you've called all hospitals and looked through all the newspapers for weeks on end. When they've sold all friends you could once call to find out what's going on. When you contemplate whether you will punch them in the face for making you cry or just give them a hug because they are the next time you see them. If you ever see that person again.

Can anyone relate?

Never miss a chance to tell people you love them! It might be your last.


PS This time - if once more I realize he's still alive and I've shed tears for nothing - I will choose the punch over the hug. FUCK COCAINE!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

I understand exactly how you feel and I am usually the one who disappears. Out of shame I push away and hide from the ones who love me. Please reconsider punching him, as I can guarantee you he is punching himself and meeting that person with more pain and shaming will only further push them away and cause them to continue to run and use their substance to try and cover up the hurt. It is an awful negative feedback loop that becomes a dark trap. Try with love to explain how much you care for them and how their actions affect you. It won't work at first but it will open the person up to the idea that another solution exists and when the pain becomes too much they will know where to turn for help. Meeting pain with more pain only compounds the suffering exponentially and will make the individual feel like pain is the only reality of their existence and that that false and fleeting relief that drugs offer is the only solution to the problem. Show them that there are other solutions and that people care. Eventually love will give them hope and a light to help them escape to the other side. For some it takes a lot of pain and suffering to break the cycle but don't under estimate the power of love and understanding. Addiction is an ugly negative feed back loop and the confusion it creates for all parties involved is very disorienting. Help show them that love is a much better and sustainable high. It might take them sometime to understand but it is much better than introducing more pain into an addiction, which is often times driven and sustained by pain itself. I give you love and prayers my friend. Addiction is an ugly beast that thrives on pain and suffering. It isn't much but I totally understand your predicament my friend and I hope this small measure of love is of some help.
 
wasn't actually gonna punch him, but your words still help a lot. I think I'm the only guy friend he still seeks for help and support and I've been as understanding as I can.

Last time he tried to get clean - I had pretty high hopes that it would last for at least a couple of months which it did - he came to our place to get high one last time before checking into rehab again. Freshly cut open abcesses all over his extremities (perfect for shooting up). Just the other day I found a few more sprinkles of blood on the couch tables' leg from that night.

Just saying that while I have indeed given him a lot of shit for what he has been doing both my wife and me are very patient, understanding and forgiving.

Shortly after the last relapse he called me in the morning announcing that he was going to off himself (not without taking a few cocaine dealers out first though which I've got to give him some credit for).
I talked him down and picked him up from the other side of the city (hadn't slept and was tripping, yay). He crashed at our place, conned us out of our last money and checked into the same clinic again.

Everything was going fine when he was released, but now he's gone again... Over the holidays. It's the longest time I haven't heard from him I think. I've dealt with loss before, but his three kids (there are probably more of them out there somewhere lol) need their Dad again, the way he was before.
I'll just wait. I won't punch him though. Thanks again for your reply <3
 
Had some people disappearing too, yet I don't think they were into drugs.. just young woman I made kinda of friends with and then suddenly no answer anymore, to a hundred worried sms or whatever, you are not knowing whether shw's just ghosted you or has been kindnapped or raped whatever ... ghosting is bad.
 
I am pretty insufferable. Very few people have ever cared enough about me to waste their time/energy to punch me. I am just not worth it.

you sound like a very caring and loving person. Love is a great thing to have in your heart.

don’t let it go.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I am pretty insufferable. Very few people have ever cared enough about me to waste their time/energy to punch me. I am just not worth it.

you sound like a very caring and loving person. Love is a great thing to have in your heart.

don’t let it go.
Click to expand...

Excuse Me, PUNCH to the Captains face!
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
No more saying or thinking that kind of thing!

YOU are Loved and Cared about!

PS: Good Luck O.P. I know how it is. Just look what I have to put up with from my lovely friends here!
 
crOOk said:
wasn't actually gonna punch him, but your words still help a lot. I think I'm the only guy friend he still seeks for help and support and I've been as understanding as I can.

Last time he tried to get clean - I had pretty high hopes that it would last for at least a couple of months which it did - he came to our place to get high one last time before checking into rehab again. Freshly cut open abcesses all over his extremities (perfect for shooting up). Just the other day I found a few more sprinkles of blood on the couch tables' leg from that night.

Just saying that while I have indeed given him a lot of shit for what he has been doing both my wife and me are very patient, understanding and forgiving.

Shortly after the last relapse he called me in the morning announcing that he was going to off himself (not without taking a few cocaine dealers out first though which I've got to give him some credit for).
I talked him down and picked him up from the other side of the city (hadn't slept and was tripping, yay). He crashed at our place, conned us out of our last money and checked into the same clinic again.

Everything was going fine when he was released, but now he's gone again... Over the holidays. It's the longest time I haven't heard from him I think. I've dealt with loss before, but his three kids (there are probably more of them out there somewhere lol) need their Dad again, the way he was before.
I'll just wait. I won't punch him though. Thanks again for your reply <3
Click to expand...

Maybe you should cut your losses and move on? You can't help someone that won't help themselves.
 
my love for friends and family doesn't take me to such places. Perhaps because I know the other side and am aware of what a waste of emotional energy that would be.

What makes this friend worth that level of emotional attachment?

The most negative impact I have personally allowed in my life came from an alcoholic friend that I tried to help. After months of misery and no sign of desire to want better out of life, I kicked is ass out on the street. He then proceeded down the path he was apparently doomed to follow and died an alcoholic death at the age of 29.

If a person doesnt want help, any attempt you make is nothing more than useless self sacrifice.

If my friend was given a second chance at life there is no doubt in my mind that he would simply have more days of misery to endure.
 
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