Recovery When is feeling like garbage a result of an unhealthy lifestyle vs coming off opiates?

[jpack84]

55 days clean off opiates after 5 years of I'll estimate between 100-500mg of morphine a day. Thought i'd be feeling a little better at this point and thinking maybe it's not coming off the opiates and more how much i've let my health and fitness go to garbage. Was reasonably healthy and fit before but that all went by the wayside.

No major withdrawal symptoms but still can't sleep, always feel an almost electrical vibration, no energy and absolutely no motivation to do anything, anhedonia is still going strong. I'm also gaining weight like crazy.

I don't think it would take much to relapse which logically i find crazy and for now i've been able to remove all temptation and access but that wont always be the case. Thinking maybe if I convince myself that my fitness is to blame for feeling like this it might reduce some of that temptation.

Any thoughts?

 

[G_Chem]

Well I can’t tell you if it’s the problem but I can tell you it’s the solution.. Exercise is huge for people post withdrawal to help get your endorphins working the right way again as well heal your body in many other ways it needs healing right now.

When I quit heroin I remember not being able to sleep and heading to the gym for hours at midnight or later. It really helped.

Baby steps though, just a little bit each day and work up a little more each day.

-GC

 

[jpack84]

Well I can’t tell you if it’s the problem but I can tell you it’s the solution.. Exercise is huge for people post withdrawal to help get your endorphins working the right way again as well heal your body in many other ways it needs healing right now.

When I quit heroin I remember not being able to sleep and heading to the gym for hours at midnight or later. It really helped.

Baby steps though, just a little bit each day and work up a little more each day.

-GC

It's a pretty obvious solution but wow am i surprised at my brains ability to search for the easy route and not make the connection that's right in front of my face. Here i was thinking about this in depth but reading your first line I think wow, I'm such an idiot and actually laughed at myself. With no motivation I think im just looking for an excuse not to exercise more, just hoping one day ill wake up and feel good again which isnt the healthiest of mindsets.

Thank you for that quick slap of reality!

 

[Jabberwocky]

exercise definitely, and patience. 5 years is a long time, 55 days will have done a lot to getting your brain back on track but its not long enough to get it functioning approximately normally again.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I have also let my health go completely. We're not in exactly the same position since I'm on 2mg subutex a day so I haven't had to go through full withdrawal and am not opioid free (congratulations on that though! HUGE achievement) but I've found literally just small steps like eating more fruit and walking more to be having a positive effect. It will be harder to convince yourself to go if your first time exercising in years is a plan to go running for miles and then you'll feel like shit afterwards if your body isn't conditioned to it, so just set a really achievable goal like a few push ups or a walk round the block just to get the ball rolling.

Bear in mind as well though that PAWs is very, very common after long-term opioid cessation, and though it waxes & wanes on average it takes a few months for all the symptoms to completely resolve. You aren't damaged or broken, this is just another part of the detox process, and if you persevere you will come out the other side.

 

[G_Chem]

It's a pretty obvious solution but wow am i surprised at my brains ability to search for the easy route and not make the connection that's right in front of my face. Here i was thinking about this in depth but reading your first line I think wow, I'm such an idiot and actually laughed at myself. With no motivation I think im just looking for an excuse not to exercise more, just hoping one day ill wake up and feel good again which isnt the healthiest of mindsets.

Thank you for that quick slap of reality!

It’s not gonna be easy but “one day at a time” (if your an AA’er..) right?

To get started, try to do light exercise during commercials (if you have any) or just random free moments in the day. Stop and do a couple push ups, or sit ups, or air punches, run in place for 30secs, whatever you do just move.

But of course this all easier said than done I know, but I got faith in you

-GC

 

[jpack84]

exercise definitely, and patience. 5 years is a long time, 55 days will have done a lot to getting your brain back on track but its not long enough to get it functioning approximately normally again.

"Approximately normally again" I like that, thank you!

 

[jpack84]

I have also let my health go completely. We're not in exactly the same position since I'm on 2mg subutex a day so I haven't had to go through full withdrawal and am not opioid free (congratulations on that though! HUGE achievement) but I've found literally just small steps like eating more fruit and walking more to be having a positive effect. It will be harder to convince yourself to go if your first time exercising in years is a plan to go running for miles and then you'll feel like shit afterwards if your body isn't conditioned to it, so just set a really achievable goal like a few push ups or a walk round the block just to get the ball rolling.

Bear in mind as well though that PAWs is very, very common after long-term opioid cessation, and though it waxes & wanes on average it takes a few months for all the symptoms to completely resolve. You aren't damaged or broken, this is just another part of the detox process, and if you persevere you will come out the other side.

Thank you, I've read a ton of your posts and comments you've made in the past and can't tell you how much I've appreciated them and the amount they've helped me! I'm not a regular on here but come to read when I'm having a little more of a rough go of it than normal and always get something positive out of reading a post of yours somewhere. Huge thank you again.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Thank you, I've read a ton of your posts and comments you've made in the past and can't tell you how much I've appreciated them and the amount they've helped me! I'm not a regular on here but come to read when I'm having a little more of a rough go of it than normal and always get something positive out of reading a post of yours somewhere. Huge thank you again.

Good to hear! Another piece of advice would be to lean on this place heavily. I sure do, and it helps a lot.

 

[Lauren1978]

I had a long addiction to high dose oxycodone for 2 decades. I moved to a place where it does not exist, but codeine does. I've taken that in what, for ME was small doses (120-150mg which is like 4 or 5 Tylenol #3's a day) which is literally less than a 10th of my former dosage. It's been like an anti depressant, I swear. But I want off this too.

I don't fear short term withdrawal (which will be physically mild) but I do dread the long term relapse potential from the depressive aspects of what you describe, and the thoughts of that over the long haul.

Back when I got off oxy's, I recall wondering when I'd feel "normal" again or when something would be "Really fun" or "hilarious", etc. But I was in grief due to my mom's death and so, feeling like shit was sort of okay with me, ironically.

Eventually, I had to recover physically and emotionally. Watching and writing and doing some comedy, regular but light exercise at first, (even just getting sunshine if it's been overcast a lot), singing and having physical intimacy helped me regain my ability to create endorphins, but it's hard to keep all things going in this lockdown. I have not been able to do so for a few months now.

Recently, I've found myself craving oxy's big time. I had some lyrica left and they have helped. But I worry about what happens when I'm out of them AND if I feel this way again. I take high dose vitamins and I know that D3 helps with depression.

I guess it's time to take some preventative steps to the extent I can, given the crazy world situation.

Keep me posted please. You are not alone.

 

[Shady's Fox]

I think my reply will feel like a rocket in your chest, 12 -- 12 yrs of sobriety. I only smoke green and I don't label it as a drug, I use it because I want to wind off. It also what helpt me during detox. You have to find something to live for, that candle inside you have to be lit all time.