When is enough , enough?

[Opicid]

I cannot get off opiates. I have voluntarilly served warrants in jail (3 months) joined the army 2( 2 years). and moved to a different city twice to get away
from heroin. Been to Detox 6 times resident twice. I will get clean but the junkie in me knows how to get dope in any situation and will snuff it out and im back on getting sick not being able to function without. I cant take this struggle anymore. I don't know what else to do, I have have done everything, am I just a junkie for life? I iwsh I had a gun or enough xanax and dope. any advice besides the usual becuase ive followed that to no avail.

 

[Ego Death]

I dunno man, I think it's kinda up to you at this point. If you don't want to truly get sober, what can anyone say to you to make you want to get sober? This is one of those things that has to come from inside of you. If your using drugs to cope with trauma from the past, a psychologist would be a good starting point.

 

[Opicid]

there isn't any trauma in my history, only thing i carry with me is growing up with a a family of alcoholics. Sometime I feel that i feel satisfy that part of the brain that craves alocohol that people are born maybr born with thorugh family historyw with opiates which hits the alot of the same receptors. but that is a terrrible excuse.

 

[herbavore]

I think that seeing a psychologist or a good counselor might make a huge difference for you to work on the things inside that make you want to use. It sounds like you want to quit and have put much effort into it in the past, but then relapse because your life is still painful when you get clean and you don't know any way to get relief from that. Maybe putting your effort into getting mentally strong and learning how to achieve a feeling of peace inside would help you. There are classes offered at hospitals and community centers in mindfulness meditation. A quick google search would turn up what's available in your area. For me this has been most helpful. Good luck and don't give up.