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When did you give up on your dreams? Who here is living their dream?

motiv311

motiv311

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Joined
Jul 25, 2005
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Hi my name is D

I play music and sing, and i'm really good, but i've been a drug addict for basically ten years, and its got to the point where I feel I need a reminder on why I started and need to evaluate what my next move in life is.


My dream is to become a rockstar, singer/songwriter, muscian, artist, performer, entertainer, authentic artist who has passionate and charisma and a successful lucrative career.

Before in life I sercrety wanted to be a rockstar, but felt like it was ridiculous to actually tell people thats what I wanted and actively do it, out of pride or some sense of "i don't deserve it' who knows....

So i'm nearly 28 now, and for the last year I've been actively going for it, rented out a studio warehouse space, bought all the equipment got the band mates, and now its really amazing how much i've grown! espeicially as a vocalist and stage-prescence and personality is way more confident...

heres the problem, drugs are wrapped up in this growth and in my life and music, and its really taking a toll after ten years strong, but I feel like its essential to my identity , especially as a songwriter/singer....


I dunno I guess I'm confused and need advice, or someone to reassure me its ok....

ANYWAYS,

Did you give up on your dreams? Are you living your dreams?
 
Hey there D,

I am kind of in the same situation as you are, except my 36 and not 28. I really want to become a DJ but over the past 15-20 years I have taken a lot of drugs and its slowed that process down. I was and addict for about 5 years but for a good part of it I was able to put it down when I needed to. The entertainment industry is an industry where you will be constantly surrounded by drugs and drug use and you have to find the strength to be able to say no to it (not all the time). Not every one can be like Keith Richards and party into their 60's. Its a lifestyle which is not sustainable. Remember that as a musician you have a reputation to maintain and people are not going to book you for gigs if they know you are fucked up all the time. Trust me, I have seen many a musician fall and loose everything because of their drug use.

So, do you take drugs to maintain an image? Its not a good way to go about it. What happens when the drugs dry up, are you still able to be a musician? Most famous musicians are actually drug free. Its called being professional. Party as hard as you like outside of the gigs but be professional when its time to go on stage and give it your all.

Nowadays I just take drugs socially, like after a gig or something, then I go back to working my ass off to get to where I want to be.

I hope this has helped you look at things differently. Keep chasing that dream and it will become reality. Work hard at it and its only a matter of time before you get a break. Good luck. : )
 
Thanks, this ^ is the truth I'm finding out - god this is hard!!!

I just want control of my ON / OFF switch, I want to be tapped into my emotions on command and have the audience get off on my getting off - to be a conduit for a special energy.....

But I have bombed some gigs because drugs or no drugs , I was 'out of touch'

Nowadays i'm finding that before I go play a gig and sing (usually just me with my guitar or keyboard) I have a little dose of benzo's beforehand, perhaps some kratom or a small opiate dose.

for songwriting i use amphetamines and have been taking the adderalls/meth pretty heavy for about ten years, they work awesome for writing the album - but for executing and gigging - no no no - they are dream killers.

I am finding out now, that I get a natural high from the crowd combined with a tinge of natural anxiety going in - which is awesome and natural. But now i'm a full blown drug addict and can't do shit without drug A drug B drug C, in some sort of quantity.....

fuck fuck fuck

are you more or less successful now DCypha?
 
Are you worried about your drug use getting out of hand? Don't stress too much about it. A famous musician I've seen said this, "I'm a drug addict, but It doesn't mean I have to take them." What it boils down to is you. You are the one in control, not the drugs. Its up to you to say when enough is enough.

So you take drugs to be creative. I don't see anything wrong with that. A lot of musicians do that. I don't do it so much nowadays and I never take anything while I'm playing. After I finish though, I'm all over that shit. I need to focus when I mix. Drugs just make me a scatter brain.

To be honest, I haven't had much success since I started but hey, I'm sure as hell not going to give up. I've met a lot of industry people and its slowly happening for me. Opportunities usually present themselves when you work hard at it. I know I can never be a superstar but you know what, it ain't all about that. I'd be happy playing local gigs and around my own country.

I'm not sure how to help you with your drug problem but I came on here to tell you my story and hope you can gain some insight into your own problem. Hope this helps.
 
This is indeed better suited to second opinion or the like. Moving.

ebola
 
my dream has always been to just chill to the best of my ability so we are in progress right now
 
Max Power said:
When? October 22nd, 1998.
Click to expand...

WHy that date?

DCypha said:
Are you worried about your drug use getting out of hand? Don't stress too much about it. A famous musician I've seen said this, "I'm a drug addict, but It doesn't mean I have to take them." What it boils down to is you. You are the one in control, not the drugs. Its up to you to say when enough is enough.

So you take drugs to be creative. I don't see anything wrong with that. A lot of musicians do that. I don't do it so much nowadays and I never take anything while I'm playing. After I finish though, I'm all over that shit. I need to focus when I mix. Drugs just make me a scatter brain.

To be honest, I haven't had much success since I started but hey, I'm sure as hell not going to give up. I've met a lot of industry people and its slowly happening for me. Opportunities usually present themselves when you work hard at it. I know I can never be a superstar but you know what, it ain't all about that. I'd be happy playing local gigs and around my own country.

I'm not sure how to help you with your drug problem but I came on here to tell you my story and hope you can gain some insight into your own problem. Hope this helps.
Click to expand...

Yeah all my family and friends and old acquaintances have all been talking about "hey maybe D can really do it?" ----- "he is better than ever!" ... my friends talk about my songs getting stuck in their head like a bad virus..... I can tell though that its nearly impossible to stop taking meth , when you should , as in , with just a medium small amount- - I can perform my songs and be tapped in like you wouldn't believe..... In the past though, it really fucked with my natural vibe mojo energy- - - it used to build mojo like cake , now its the mojo killer usually and leads to me wanting to take other drugs to help smooth out the ride.... I'm speeding through life,

but hey, all my friends are certain i'm gonna be famous artist , that its just a matter of time, but the way I've been burning the candle at both ends recently, I can see how it could fuck up my mojo, I want to be a general poly drug user , not a wannabe tweaker musician who is high on his own supply and melodies.;......
 
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My professional dream is to be a published author, psychologist, philosopher and vocalist. I don't want, need or expect to become a household name in any of these paths; it'd be nice, but just knowing I've perhaps influenced a few thousand people in a positive way would be enough.

My personal dream is to meet a girl I can live with, possibly adopt a couple of kids way down the line, travel the world, keep exploring altered states of consciousness, live by some sand dunes and ride horses or buggies across the beach until I die.

But more than any of this I want to be cured of depression once and for all. In fact I don't believe any of it can happen until I am.

I'm almost twenty-four, and sometimes looking at how far I have to go is very disheartening. Certainly as a kid (around fifteen) it started to occur to me that I might just not be cut out for it. I became deeply unhappy at the thought. Now I feel I'm at a period of metamorphosis in my life. The world is full of possibilities and I choose to be optimistic. I have two thirds of my life still to come, after all.
 
What if you don't have huge dreams? I just don't have a dream like that. Maybe it's because I'm too much of a realist that, every time I may have a dream, I know it's not practical. x_x
I'm 23 though, I've got to work on getting better dreams/goals.

I mean, I have a good job (for my age, it's not like it's the best job in the world or like I'll be there forever, but it's great for a 23 year old), an amazing boyfriend who I live with and have been dating for a few years, and I have a fun "part time" / side job on top of my full time job.
I guess I'd love to do something to help animals but I have no education and experience in it. I also love music but I'm tone deaf so I actually couldn't do much there.

It's great to have goals and dreams and stuff like that. I wish I had more of a dream than I do now :p
 
^ whats crazy is that since basically the age of 19 i've subconsciously known I HAD to try and play rock / alternative music .... the drugs distracted me so bad, from really finishing my projects and got me kicked out of bands. I will be 28 in a month! holy fuck has it all gone soooo fast. Its only been the past year that I've been like "GOD DAMN IT, ITS BETTER TO FAIL AT SOMETHING YOU LOVE, CAUSE YOU CAN ALWAYS FAIL AT SOMETHING YOU HATE...." And something has clicked subconsciously, I need to cut down on my drug consumption, but its like I know I will always be a drug user to some degree , its just the way it is when you wanna do music SO DAMN BAD AND YOUR STILL YOUNG ENOUGH AND PRETTY HOT AND PLAY HOT SHIT...lol. I'm in the middle of recording some HD live music videos with like 40,000 of gear in audio visual stuff, Ill post it when were done by the 30th
 
That's awesome. It's great that you have that dream and that passion.
 
I always wanted to be a park ranger until I realized how little they can actually protect, so no. I have some other pretty decent dreams that are working out pretty well however. Can't complain.
 
Well here in the good old USA, it seems like everyone in southern california wants to be a celebrity of some sort. . . I actually don't really want that so much, but just feel like I could do it, and should do it; cause what else am i going to do? I just wish I would have started earlier
 
I always wanted to be an artist and a traveler and a mother. I just kept aiming my life in those directions and now I'm 60. I'm an artist and a traveler and a mother. :)

Other things that I never dreamed of being important to me came in through the back door--like teaching. I love teaching art. I find I am developing new dreams late in life and I will just keep walking towards them without expectation but with enthusiasm; it worked the first time around. That's what makes the journey--the enthusiasm you have for your dreams.
 
My dream is to travel around the world and no, I haven't given up that dream yet.
 
hey 60 is the new 30 right? I think its never to late to start something
 
My dream will never happen, so I make do with making the dreams of others happen instead.
 
I'm living my dream. I eat Lucky Charms for breakfast EVERY day, I drink chocolate milkshake with every meal, and I do heroin most days. I'm also platinum league in Starcraft II and well on my way to diamond. I've achieved everything I've ever wanted and more!
 
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