The first time I went to a psychotherapeut was when i was 27, 12 years ago. Because of my nervousness (these times I did not know about my ADHD) I went there. Because the diagnose ADHD in Adults was not discussed by that time we (of course) startet my whole life turning around. He was a genius, knew a lot about everything, had the ability to hear my words and I always could see in his eyes he is trying to feel what I feel. I got to him because a friend of mine recommended him. I saw him, said hello and knew - he is it.
Because the ADHD was not diagnosable we started to talk a lot about my (really mean and bad) family issues. Before I went there I was a grey little mouse, not talking, better nowhere appearing and I took everthing personally. Now I know why, because of my therapeut Andy: I totally compensated my ADHD because from childhood on I just got bad words, punishment, everybody was thinking I'm too lazy for everything, "you could but you do not want" , you are never listening and so on and so on. ADHD-people know what I mean. So, over the years I'm compensated. I said not too much because the outcome was always bad or i was said to be stupid or exaggerating , and so I went into a girl that had such a lot of anger and anxiety but also a lot of power inside me and he told me how to change that with different methods.
He always told me: "JJ, don't think everything will dissapear in two weeks. You have to practice in special situations and come out of your cage. It lasted years.
But i did it. I really did it.I changed. I practiced all that stuff that kept me in my cage over years and after a while i saw: nothing bad happened. People were respecting me , i couldnt believe. And if I hadn't done than, if I hadn't practiced everything he told me, it would have never beenpossible to diagnose me with ADHD from the impulsive type.
So, thank you Andy, I love you, I hated you so much meanwhile but I was allowed to beat you, that was great :D
If I wouldn't have you, I would be just a bunch of a depressed grey mouse that is always sad and says nothing, even when its really necessary.
I thank my psychotherapist a thousand times. And I was also glad I don't have to see so many different people because of no sympathy, no whatever. He was the first and he ist still. When somethings wrong, I call him.
So I'm sorry for you guys who were not that lucky. But try, try, try - anytime you'll find the right human being that you can trust and really work with.
JJ