whats wrong with me?

[driscodos]

I feel horrible. I've just started university and my mind and body are not feeling good.

For the past few years i've suffered from ( i think, social and generalised anxiety disorder ) however it really seems to come out when i have to do work.

I'm doing a product design course and as soon as i get set any work to do things so bad. Today i was set work and couldn't think of any ideas but everyone else could. This isn't a big deal but it effects me so much, trying to come up with and do this work makes me feel horrible, just this bad feeling that i can't describe.

After this its like my perception on everything changes - I can't talk to or get on with anyone, when i'm out with friends it feels like i'm doing everything wrong and they are starting to hate me or see me for the boring person i am. My muscles start to ache, i go stressed out and feel very on edge and jittery.

I generally feel one step behind and when i try to work or socialise or do anything i immediately feel bad and have to stop.

The only times i feel normal are when i'm watching tv, drinking or general other mindless activitys. This isn't what i want to do or who i want to be.

I hate feeling like this, my head feels so messy and there are too many thoughts going round it and they all make me feel worse.

I've tried cbt therapy using a book on myself but i always seem to end up back here.

Any help is very appreciated, i really can't get anywhere in life like this.

 

[hustlababy09]

That has to be really hard. I have anxiety and it flares up sometimes when I'm in a public place and I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me so I start getting shaky and nervous. Mine isn't as bad as yours though. Have you tried going to a psychologist/psychiatrist?? Maybe meds would help?? I know a lot of people with anxiety disorder and I've seen them before and after they were prescribed medication, and it's a night and day difference. I did a quick search to see what kind of tips I could come up with for you, and they said that there is some research that suggests that GAD could be hereditary. Did either of your parents have problems with anxiety?? If they did, it might be helpful to know how they overcame it and/or if they have any suggestions for how you could overcome it. The mind is a powerful thing, but if you train your mind to work WITH you instead of against you, it could really benefit you. You shouldn't have to live like that.

Suggestions for you (I researched this on Google.) physically:

1.) When you feel it coming on, tackle the issue right away. Shut it down before it starts to consume your thoughts completely. Make sure to control your breathing. Breathe deeply, from the diaphragm. Make a conscious effort to relax your muscles.

2.) Calm yourself by thinking, "What is the worst thing that could happen if I do X (mess up, say something wrong, get an answer wrong, etc.)?" 99% of the time, the worst outcome is not that bad, and chances are it won't happen like that anyway.

3.) Dwelling on the past is counterproductive and won't help anything. Let go of the past. The past can make your anxiety level shoot through the roof. There is nothing you can do to fix what has already been done, but you can control your future.

4.) Adequate sleep, exercise, and a healthy diet are essential for someone with GAD. The sugar highs and lows of a diet based on junk food are disastrous for someone with GAD.

5.) Journaling can be an amazing outlet. Letting your thoughts flow freely can be really helpful. Write down your goals. Make a list of things you've already accomplished. Write down your feelings and analyze your fears.

Lastly, seeking professional help could be very beneficial to you. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best. You can kick anxiety's ass!!

 

[driscodos]

Thanks very much! it really does mean a lot that you made the effort to post that. It makes me feel a lot better actually talking to someone about it too. I think some of my family may have had similar problems to me, i haven't asked yet though.

 

[phenmetrazine]

I have similar problems to you as well. I have had anxiety to the point that it is and was deeply affecting my life. It seems though that I am slowly getting over it and I will tell you what worked for me.

1) A pretty healthy diet that seeks to minimize simple sugars but contain plenty of good fats and protein. Make sure to try to get as close as you can to a 2:1 ratio of omega 6mega 3 fats as you can. Coconut oil is one of the fats that I consume and it seems to have quite a healthy reputation and seems like it has contributed partially to my improvements.

2)http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/303431-5-Tibetan-Rites-%28Exercise%29 The five Tibetan rites. Start doing them today. That's all I can really say. It wakes you up in the morning and leaves you feeling notable better all day in my opinion. Sorry I don't know how to link threads.

3) Cold showers. I have been doing them for 2-3 months and they seem to help. I barely even like hot showers now. Just get in there and slowly get colder and its not nearly as bad as you would think.

4)I take aniracetam and pramiracetam for treatment of raynaud's phenomenon and cognitive improvement. However, I also find that they seem to take away anxiety for me. Make sure you take them with a choline supplement if you are interested in trying these and do some research. These drugs may be legal supplements and almost certainly nontoxic but they have powerful pharmacological effects nevertheless.

5) sulbutiamine) This is a derivative of Thiamin ( vitamin B3 I think) that can easily cross your blood brain barrier and get directly in your brain. I have been using this for two weeks and it has had the most profound effect on me out of anything I have tried. I actually tried to ask out a women that was just incredibly beautiful and that is completely out of character for me. This supplement is OTC in the US and not too expensive by the way.

6) Picamilon) This is a supplement that contains naicin and GABA bound together. It has been studied for treatment of anxiety and been found to be pretty effective. I like it some people don't. I would give it a try if I were you.

7) Heavy exercise: This kicks your body into overdrive and will help your anxiety if you follow through no doubt.

of course there is meditation and stretching as well but I have yet to incorporate them fully into my routine so I cannot attest to their benefits in this area. The list of things above may seem overwhelming but start doing those Tibetan rites and thinking positively. We all have shit to deal with in life and doing nothing about it is not going to get any positive results.

 

[EndlessSummer]

Trust me, I know how you feel.

Had OCD, GAD, SAD, ADHD, NPD, bipolar disorder, manic depressive disorder, and a lot of others. Which ones were right are only a few probably, but I think massive depressive mood swings over the years have sort of characterized my existence.

Thankfully there exist drugs to help with such things, combined with personal introspection, that can be a great way to help deal with issues. Also keep on going out with people and keep yourself occupied, helps with the anxiety I feel.

 

[attempt4]

I have similar problems to you as well. I have had anxiety to the point that it is and was deeply affecting my life. It seems though that I am slowly getting over it and I will tell you what worked for me.

etc etc...

Great post mate.

Cold showers, clean diet, exercise, meditation are the most effective anxiety tools in the world provided you don't want to rely on any substance.

I had high hopes for the 5 Tibetan Rites after reading so many glowing reports on it, but was very disappointed. It was misleadingly touted as a magical "cure-all" yoga routine, but really didn't do anything for me.
The thing with naturopathy and many methods of enhancing health and wellbeing is that they of course don't all work for everybody. Needless to say, I was gutted after seeing so many wild reports on how incredible it was! Just not for me, unfortunately.

 

[AcidGreen]

Great post mate.

Cold showers, clean diet, exercise, meditation are the most effective anxiety tools in the world provided you don't want to rely on any substance.

Absolutely agree with this. Never ever rely on substances/drugs of any kind to artificially alter or correct your mood (unless there is literally no other option).

Firstly you need to go and see a professional (doctor/psychologist/mental health specialist) for a full assessment.
Maybe you have subconscious issues relating to something else which is deeply affecting the way in which you view yourself and those around you, maybe it's a genuine mental illness. In an extreme case it could even be mild autism. Until you get it properly checked out you'll never know for sure.

The fact is there definitely IS a reason why you feel the way you do. That should give you some comfort because as soon as you identify what it is, you can begin work on resolving it and working on yourself in a constructive way.

I studied product design myself so I appreciate how difficult it must be when you can't find the motivation.

Good luck with it, i'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it and begin to understand yourself in no time.

 

[driscodos]

Cheers everyone, a lot of very thoughtful answers and i'm not quite sure where to start. Really appreciate it.

I think one of the hardest things with this is getting up the motivation to start trying these things after failing and failing previously. This has really given me a boost and i hope it'll help others and not just me. Will be sure to update on what is and isnt't working and how it goes.

 

[rickolasnice]

Eat healthily and get into a regular exercise routine..

Stop taking / cut down any and all drugs you are taking..

I used to feel alot like how you describe.. i think it was caused by amphetamine / MDMA / mephedrone abuse..

Also.. if you are not getting enough sleep.. first try standard tips for getting to sleep (no computer before bed, no caffeine after lunch, etc).. if that doesn't work i suggest trying an over the counter medication (such as diphenhydramine) or maybe even go to the doctor for some medication.. might be best to not tell them about the depression / anxiety you are currently experiencing as they will most likely throw you on SSRIs.. which may be needed but please.. try the tips in this thread first

 

[McTwist]

I think massive depressive mood swings over the years have sort of characterized my existence.

I have horrible, horrible mood swings. I've never been to a psychologist, so I don't know if I actually have bipolar disorder, but my social/general anxiety in the past has contributed largely to this, as well as negative thought patterns that weigh me down tremendously. I've eliminated a lot of my anxiety and am doing much better now, but I still have mood swings that throw me back into a rut where everything I learned in the past seems to have been thrown out the window. I had a stupendous last few weeks, and now I am feeling pretty low.

Keep going out with friends and keep yourself busy with hobbies that take your mind off of negative thought. Meditation, deep breathing, anything that clears your mind of negativity works very well as long as you have the motivation to sit down and let go. Drugs are bad, even marijuana (at least in my case). Exercise and a healthy diet is another important factor in overall well-being. I cannot stress this enough. I've fallen off the wagon again but am in the process of reevaluating my life. As soon as I'm finished typing this post I am going to clean my room, something I have been putting off for awhile now. In fact, I've been putting a lot of things off that needed to be taken care of. All I am doing is stressing myself out even further, so try to focus on priorities with a positive mindset. I know it's difficult sometimes to maintain a positive perspective in the midst of negativity, but a good outlook will travel a long way.

 

[attempt4]

McTwist, that was a great post and I know what you mean with the mood swings throwing you back into a rut where it seems everything you learned just flies out the window.

I seem to have it change more frequently, as in, I can wake up one day and it's filled with anxiety and shitness from the get go. Then the next day I can wake up and feel great, this might happen for 3 days then it's back for a day or two and forth and back and forth. I just learned to try and accept the negativity.
My mood has been horrendous since I lost my job. I can't even explain how depressed I feel every single morning I wake up....and this is in spite of healthy eating, weight training etc.

The main things that are causing me ridiculous stress right now is relying on a substance for my anxiety and depression (in itself causes me stress) that I am no longer going to be able to obtain in a matter of weeks, being unemployed, feeling like my life is going nowhere and everybody around me is either in Uni working towards their career or at the least has a job and seems happy and going places.
It's pathetic, I know, comparing my life to others and it's not so much that I care about my materialistic worth and attachments and career in that respect, but it seems that everybody has a path and seems self-assured and I've just spent the last several years where I should be have been sorting my life out and growing up, instead just taking drugs constantly, dealing drugs and getting addicted to shit and fucking up basically.

In all honesty, these past couple of days I've been coveting my friends who have passed, how lucky they are, how free.

To the OP, it's funny that I am typing this as I gave advice earlier about things that work and how to get over it and you might be wondering "Well clearly it doesn't work, why should I bother?" - I can assure you that the cold showers, meditation, clean diet, exercise and good sleep do work as an effective foundation for building your confidence and strength. It's just that I have neglected much of this regimen the past wee while and the unemployment worries refreshes itself every day I wake up.
Try and stick to the advice given, it does work. Don't entertain the negative thoughts at all. Each time you find yourself in a negative thought loop or worrying, just observe the thought, don't get sucked in and change the subject. Meditation is amazingly effective at quietening the worries. You just need to stick at it.

 

[driscodos]

thanks again, unfortunately the same kind of thing happened to me yesterday and today. I've been set a project for next week which i was working on yesterday and after a few hours of working on it i just became extremely anxious and depressed. For some reason i just start to hate everything i do and then i panic that i haven't got enough done which leads to me giving up and stopping or going out and getting pissed. This obviously doesn't help my state at all as this keeps going until its a day before the projects due and i realise i've messed up again.

All this seems like such a simple and small problem yet i always seem to end up in the same place. I get the similar feeling too that it kind of comes in waves, and it effects everything i do. Some days i'll get loads done and enjoy doing it, then i'll go out and be friendly and find it easy talking to people, but then some days its the complete oppersite and i can barly look anyone in the eye.

I'll keep sticking to all the tips that have been giving regardless, and i hope all your problems gradually get better too.

 

[minxxxy]

Driscodos, treatment for mental health issues is usually a slow and steady uphill battle, with many steps backwards along the way.

You can tell from all the posters here that different strategies work for different people. The best advice I can give is try it all and develop youre own little toolkit for when you experience problems.

Ive been anxiety, OCD, BPD and depression, and had an eating disorder many years ago. I find different strategies work in different circumstances. I still have moments where I binge eat, and then the self-loathing of why I acted that way, why cant I be normal - all the negative self talk kicks in. Yoga and meditation are great for me, but sometimes I am too anxious and I actually need to get out of my house, walk along the wate in the sunshine, breathe in huge gulps of the salty air and Im ok. Other times, through particularly emotional times, I write in a journal. I challenge my anxieties, talk to myself and talk through my problems. Sometimes its a distraction - a call to my mum, going to the movies or out for dinner... The more ways you have of coping with your anxiety, the better equipped you are to deal with it. Therapy does help in this respect if youre unsure where to start.

Re the course, try breaking the project into baby steps and after each one, reward yourself for completing it.
Take some time to reflect on your achievement, no matter how small, and prepare yourself psychologically for the next project step. Id also recommend talking/writing to your lecturer/teacher and getting them onside so that if you do make a mistake that theyre understanding.

All the best

 

[attempt4]

. The more ways you have of coping with your anxiety, the better equipped you are to deal with it.

What a great post! You're definitely gonna be a great addition to the forums

I had to highlight this part though...It may sound simple, but it's very very important and can help massively.

I found that when I got bouts of anxiety and depression, I would just be sitting in by myself and doing nothing to actually help the situation (primarily due to the inherent difficulty in doing anything whilst depressed, which creates an ironic catch-22) but if you have ways built up to deal with it, then you are able to get through it.

It could be simple things, like you say minxxxy, such as calling a family member or going out to the movies.This ties in with something I realised a wee while ago:

It sounds hard, I know, but I touched upon it in my last post I think, but do not entertain the negativity. Don't let it seep into your consciousness and envelope your being. Actually acknowledge that it is happening and do something to keep yourself busy. Note the feelings that are arising and think "No, I am stronger than this. I am growing more confident and strong by the day, I can deal with this", really mean and feel it and go out for a meal, get outside for a cycle of a jog perhaps to an area you haven't explored that much, phone a friend and hang out with someone....just do anything to get and remain busy and occupied enough so that you won't sit and focus on nothing but how bad you feel.

Age is massive factor I believe, in curing these anxieties as well. At your tender age, you haven't quite developed the coping mechanisms yet and everything in life seems so daunting and glaringly menacing. In time, you will come to grasp your self-assuredness a bit more.

ACTUALLY TAKE IN THE ADVICE GIVEN and do what we advise, because we all speak from a similar place. Keep the URL of this thread saved away somewhere and read it when you need to. Exercise, eat well, practice socialising, cut down drug/drink use, meditate etc etc etc.

Take care

 

[piebald]

I will pre-empt this by saying this is my OPINION:
your suffering from the "human condition" You just started college your out of your element and everything is new and its NORMAL to feel these things...don't let some asshat diagnose you with some bullshit disorder and put you on an anti-depressants...I swear these drug companies are killin us all. ...i know some people can bennifit from these drugs..but its like how many conditions, diseases disorders and ailments are invented every year?
Pre Menopausal body dismorphic disorder (aka "I feel fat cause i have PMS)? Seasonal Effective Disorder(its fuckin winter, it sucks and my vitamin D is low) Generalized Anxiety Disorder(I'm not in my living room and its a little uncomfortable) Erectile Disfuction( im out of shape and have high blood pressure and cant get it up..n I need to lay off the beer and spare ribs)
I dont mean to criticize anyone who has been helped by meds..but they are SO OVER PRESCRIBED! YOUR YOUNG, your in a new environment, your not home anymore and your in a new element..its scary..its normal to have a little existential crisis when you are thrown into a new environment-
I know in certain cases some people are like super depressed and need meds..but before you go that route just know its OK to feel weird sometimes, and sad, and confused..your HUMAN..and the ones you have to worry about are the people that DONT feel depressed or overwhelmed at time
One dude on this thread says he has " OCD, GAD, SAD, ADHD, NPD, bipolar disorder, manic depressive disorder, and a lot of others" I obviously cant debate this, i have no idea who he is..but ..WOW!.
Take everyones advice and try to be healthy and of course, if are like totally off the wall, get help by all means, but don't assume there is something that needs to be fixed..growing up is weird, college is bizzare, life is strange and sometimes you feel like shit...take the eastern route not the western route..and again thats all just my opinion, no offense to anyone who loves the drugs..to each his own...

 

[rickolasnice]

^ You've obviously never suffered from any of the conditions you have such strong opinions on..

 

[piebald]

uhhh yeah ive been in and out of shrinks offices since i was a kid, iv'e been on wellbutrin, zoloft, paxil, prozac, lithium, resperidone, celexa,.imipramine, ritallin, adderall, xanax etc etc and it was kinda sick how fast they dole out the chemicals....i said this is just an OPINION! i and my opinion comes from my personal experience and all im saying it that before you throw yourself into the whole shrink/medication/ cycle..try to make some healthy choices..
AND did you read the post? Hes new at college, i have no idea how old you are or if you went away to college but in a totally new environment, your taking on a whole new set of challenges socially and academically and its completely PLAUSIBLE that his feeling are "NORMAL"?? He very well could suffer form depression or any number of things..im not saying they dont exist..but sometimes we get nervous, sad, uncomfortable, irritable and confused..and thats called growing up!
IM NOT implying that psychology and meds are bad or bullshit what Im saying is, in the context of the post, he's experiencing college, figuring a whole new world out and esp when your that age shit can be tough...i said in my post if he gets really worried he should MOST DEF get some help but start with the basics first, a healthy diet, excercise and sleep! Im not in any way making an argument against getting help when you need it! Im just saying its HUMAN to feel sad and confused and BEFORE you decide to go to a doctor try changing the simple things..

 

[McTwist]

thanks again, unfortunately the same kind of thing happened to me yesterday and today. I've been set a project for next week which i was working on yesterday and after a few hours of working on it i just became extremely anxious and depressed. For some reason i just start to hate everything i do and then i panic that i haven't got enough done which leads to me giving up and stopping or going out and getting pissed. This obviously doesn't help my state at all as this keeps going until its a day before the projects due and i realise i've messed up again.

All this seems like such a simple and small problem yet i always seem to end up in the same place. I get the similar feeling too that it kind of comes in waves, and it effects everything i do. Some days i'll get loads done and enjoy doing it, then i'll go out and be friendly and find it easy talking to people, but then some days its the complete oppersite and i can barly look anyone in the eye.

I know where you're coming from about the school work. I've been having my own problems staying motivated enough to actually learn and invigorate myself towards school. Becoming motivated is the easy part, but staying motivated is a difficult task. When I fail to meet my own goals or standards, I torture myself (am I able to do this? am I a match for this career? am I wasting my time?). The questions go on and on and on, until I realize I am setting myself up for failure and misery by constantly torturing myself with recurring thoughts of negativity. In these harmful thoughts lie huge detriments to our well-being. If we keep perpetuating these thought loops, these thoughts will manifest our reality. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know that sounds lame or cliche but what you believe to become true actually will become true. Like I said, it's all about perspective. I should be studying right now. Actually I should've been studying a few hours ago, but instead I played some stupid computer game. Try to cut yourself off from novel distractions that impede your ability to perform work.I told my friend I just woke up from a nap and I had to study because I didn't want to hang out with him. I shouldn't have lied and I really should be studying right now and I will after I finish typing this post.

Like attempt4 said, I do not always adhere to my own guidelines and what I know to be the right thing 100% of the time. I try to, but sometimes it's difficult when you're feeling down to become motivated or open to new experiences. There is a lot of great advice in this thread. If you dislike your situation, do something to change it. Go outside, cycle, explore, give a friend a call, or have a solo adventure somewhere, as long as it'll get you out of the house just for a change of scenery. You don't have to go very far. Maybe all you need to rejuvenate your spirits is a quiet walk in a park where you can find a nice spot, preferably away from people near a stream that softly babbles "everything is alright." At that point I like to meditate or read a book. Just know that your current situation isn't all that bad; your negative thoughts obscure the beauty in your life. There were a few times where I wanted to off myself because why? I felt shitty because of my own doing, but I am glad I didn't. Even as I was going through troubled emotions like that I knew deep down everything would get better, that everything would be alright. And you know what? Since then, maybe a month or two or three ago (probably the second or third time I've felt like that all year) I've felt great and have had marvelous experiences with friends, traveling, partying, reading books, learning, laughing, and cajoling with coworkers and classmates. So hang in there. And keep posting on here, talking to people in real life, and if you feel distressed, change your scenery, acknowledge your thoughts, and work out how to change yourself for the better. Try out some of the advice in here. Study a little bit each day, chip away at the chunk so that the night before you won't be so overwhelmed (easy to say trust me I know all too well, I am the master procrastinator).

Typing this post has made me feel better. In a way, you've made me realize the beauty of life for the umpteenth million time. Studying biology never seemed so amazing! So thank you and good luck.