Desperate What's wrong with me? I desperately need answers

[Dcole461]

Hello all,

I've been having severe anxiety and panic episodes lately accompanied with very uncomfortable heart palpitations. I'm a recovering meth addict (quit 2 years ago with 3 relapses - single days not binges).

Anyway, this has been going on for weeks. My doc prescribed clonazepam which helps but I'm taking it daily which I know isn't good for benzos. I think my problem is related to low blood sugar. I bought a monitor and I've had some very low results. And the anxiety and palpitations dramatically improve when my blood sugar goes up.

But I had to leave work early today because of a severe episode. I went to a clinic and the doc says she doesn't think I'm hypoglycemic and said my diet shouldn't be causing symptoms like I've described (she said it sounded like panic attacks but I know mine feel different than what I'm experiencing). I also have had ECGs, chest x-ray, lab work, cardiac stress test and no issues.

I have a physical at the end of the month and just had new lab work done, but what do I do in the meantime? It's funny, I honestly feel like killing myself because of all this but I'm scared that my heart might stop suddenly (even though docs have said it won't happen).

I'm going to ask for a Holter monitor and to see an endocrinologist, but how do I get through the next 2 weeks? I guess I'll have to take the clonazepam everyday even if it does lead to physical dependency because I don't know what else to do. Has anyone experienced anything like this?

I've never had anxiety this bad, and the fact that I'm eating healthier than ever and no drugs, weed, alcohol, or caffeine, it's making me feel very discouraged. I know Bluelighters aren't doctors but I'm desperate. Please help me.

 

[Joey]

Sometimes a meth addiction can leave residual side effects on the mind. It may have manifested as an anxiety disorder later on. Ive seen people go through something similar to what youre describing, although not necessarily beginning years later. For that, I cant really say with any clarity that this is it, side effect of drugs anf recovery. Meth can take 2 years or more to heal from mentally/brain physiology. Its possible that this is a phase youre going through as you heal.

Meth does some weird, crazy stuff mentally and long term with an addiction, many people.

I think maybe depending how severe it is your options are to take your meds, power through the day however you can practicing some relaxation techniques (deep slow breaths, exercise, sex, hobbies, meditation etc) and you could make it through work to your appt. Either that or take a leave of absence, get a note to cover your ass for a bit til you can get there and hopefully youll come to a satisfying conclusion afterward and feel better than this.

Either way Id suggest you find some sort of therapy or counseling geared to mental health and anxiety in particular. I used to live in a city that had an anxiety clinic, specific treatment does exist out there. Youll get through this, it all passes soon enough.

 

[MsDiz]

So sorry you’re feeling awful, I suffer from pretty bad anxiety attacks sometimes and they really do make you feel miserable.

I’d definitely advise testing your blood sugar regularly for a week and recording the results. Test on waking and fasted, an hour before food, an hour after food then at bed time. Also when you’re having anxiety take a test too and record how you were feeling. (Even the act of doing this might distract you and calm you down a bit.)You should see if it’s related to blood sugar directly from this. Good to give to the Dr as well for his info.

Definitely see about therapy and mentioning to someone about your anxiety. If it’s not sugar related you will need to learn how to recognise it and the self help tools that honestly really do work. I use distraction a lot when I’ve anxiety but there are times when I just need to let myself feel it rather than run from it. It all depends but I’ve learnt how to tell by going to a really good therapist. There are all sorts of amazing online resources for people with anxiety as well if you search. Maybe there’s some help in your area that you’d benefit from?

Use the benzo only when you really really need it. Try not to use it when you could work yourself through the anxiety. Benzos are a great tool, I have some that I use when I’ve extreme anxiety and I’m grateful I have them for that purpose. If you use them too often tolerance builds and they eventually stop working as well as they should. Not to mention the withdrawal.

Best of luck!! I hope things resolve for you soon.

 

[Dcole461]

Thanks for your replies! Luckily my boss has been very understanding. I ended up going to the ER this morning. They did an ultrasound of my heart which was fine. A bit of an issue with my EKG but no red flag, but I'll get referred for a Holter monitor. I took some clonazepam this morning. Feeling anxious now but don't want to take another one so I'll take some melatonin and hope it knocks me out.

Ive been thinking about therapy for a while. It's difficult finding the motivation to get that started with covid happening but the effort will be worth it if it eases the anxiety.

I do have some things for distraction. I'm a musician on the side so I'll practice or work on compositions, sex is also a good distraction but I tend to get palpitations from that. Maybe I'll go easy on that til my doctor's appointment.

 

[karrotx]

When I first read your post the thing that popped into my mind was that it may be vitamin deficiency. You may find it helpful to start taking a multi vitamin and fish oil daily. Fish oil is great for helping the heart ensure that it beats rhythmically proper and is overall more healthy. Also something that may help with anxiety is L-theanine, which may help you to not take the benzos so often. It is available over the counter and is very helpful and not habit forming.

 

[deficiT]

Hello all,

I've been having severe anxiety and panic episodes lately accompanied with very uncomfortable heart palpitations. I'm a recovering meth addict (quit 2 years ago with 3 relapses - single days not binges).

Anyway, this has been going on for weeks. My doc prescribed clonazepam which helps but I'm taking it daily which I know isn't good for benzos. I think my problem is related to low blood sugar. I bought a monitor and I've had some very low results. And the anxiety and palpitations dramatically improve when my blood sugar goes up.

But I had to leave work early today because of a severe episode. I went to a clinic and the doc says she doesn't think I'm hypoglycemic and said my diet shouldn't be causing symptoms like I've described (she said it sounded like panic attacks but I know mine feel different than what I'm experiencing). I also have had ECGs, chest x-ray, lab work, cardiac stress test and no issues.

I have a physical at the end of the month and just had new lab work done, but what do I do in the meantime? It's funny, I honestly feel like killing myself because of all this but I'm scared that my heart might stop suddenly (even though docs have said it won't happen).

I'm going to ask for a Holter monitor and to see an endocrinologist, but how do I get through the next 2 weeks? I guess I'll have to take the clonazepam everyday even if it does lead to physical dependency because I don't know what else to do. Has anyone experienced anything like this?

I've never had anxiety this bad, and the fact that I'm eating healthier than ever and no drugs, weed, alcohol, or caffeine, it's making me feel very discouraged. I know Bluelighters aren't doctors but I'm desperate. Please help me.

When I first read your post the thing that popped into my mind was that it may be vitamin deficiency. You may find it helpful to start taking a multi vitamin and fish oil daily. Fish oil is great for helping the heart ensure that it beats rhythmically proper and is overall more healthy. Also something that may help with anxiety is L-theanine, which may help you to not take the benzos so often. It is available over the counter and is very helpful and not habit forming.

I second what karrotx said. Make sure to take vitamins and some supplements and get a good diet, maybe some light exercise. If you've had all those tests there's nothing much else you can do I dont think.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I had very bad anxiety for a long time after quitting my first adventure with meth. A lot like you describe. I tried lots of different pharmaceuticals to deal with it but I think the best thing I ever did was gentle exercise swimming laps in the pool. There was something so calming about both the water and the endless rhythm of the swimming itself. I never had anxiety or panic in the nights where I had swum in the daytime.

Over time the anxiety was still there though so I found some respite with Abilify - it was very effective at cutting out the ruminating thoughts that made me anxious. Combined with exercise and some training in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Mindfulness that I got in rehab it worked very well for a long time.

Good luck.

 

[Yacking]

If you feel faint or dizzy or as if the room goes black when you stand up/move too fast or sometimes need to do the bend over, "Wow, I stood up too fast" thing, maybe a tilt table test would be useful since you're getting a thorough work up anyway.
(I would think someone would notice by now if your blood pressure or pulse were odd but worth asking if it could be useful. )

If so, it might be the salt, rather than the sugar that's affecting you if your blood pressure is wonky.
(Low needs more, high needs less.)

My blood pressure can drop super low and that causes my heart to beat too fast to try to make up for it and I have tachycardia from it. I used to think it was sugar related but it was the salt.
On a larger scale-this is why my Cardiologist suggested getting off benzos or at least lowering the dose. The klonopin is a culprit.


I'm not in any way a medical professional and don't know shit about anything....just a thought since a see some similarities.