What's wrong with me? Am I depressed?

Its quite shocking to see how many people (just on this message board) are affected by these symptoms your describing SKIM.
The feelings your having will slowly go away with time, this is for sure. The 5HTP may help boost your mood and allievate some of the anxiety/stress your having as well.
Your serotonin levels are probably just a bit low, the 5-HTP and other SSRI's (antidepressant drugs that help boost serotnin)will help boost them back to normal status, afte a few months your brain should be able to naturally sustain a conssnt normal level of serotonin by itself.
5HTP isn't exactly what may help you here....You should see a proffesional doctor, he will accurately assess your problem (which also sounds like DP/DR to me as well) and offer some more "proffessional" medication for you. I'm not saying that 5-HTP won't do the trick, just that you may need something else.
I currently suffer from MANY of the symptoms your describing, mine are as a direct result from fucking around with speed/Ecstacy.
I've actually felt this way before after using drugs for a period of time...
THE FEELINGS/SYMPTOMS GO AWAY you must although stop taking all drugs now...Marijuana, Ecstacy, speed etc. Stop now or your condition will only worsen I can vouch for this...
One thing to keep in mind....When you do start feeling better....The last thing you want to do is be brave enough to do drugs again...This is where I fucked up.
good luck...God bless.
 
alright guys... i got my 60 pills.
5htp 100mg pills. got them from americannutrition.com
I took one already... how long will it take for it to start changing things. I haven't noticed anything much different today... I was hoping it would kick in as fast of eX.
I guess i understand i gotta try it for a couple days to notice change... anyone know how long exactly?
And i'll let you know guys know how it goes as time progresses. If it doesn't do anything i'm going to stop taking them just in case.
And if i start feeling ABNORMAL or even BETTER than normal... something unnatural... i'll stop too. I don't want to get addicted... i'm still unsure of what's going to happen. I just hope they take me out of the clouds and back onto my feet.
Anyways... thats it.
 
For me, when I was taking them before (I ran out for a week), it only took a couple of days before I felt some effects from them, and within a week I was feeling 'normal' again. I don't think, however, that it's possible to estimate how long it will take for someone else, as everyone is different. I've only started taking them again recently, this is my second day - I haven't really noticed much off them yet, but a lot of the memory and speech problems (trailing off in sentences, etc.) ended the last time I took them, so the other effects may take a little bit longer this time.
Please let us know how you get on Skim as I would like to know if 5-HTP works as well for others as it did for me. I'd also like to know that some of the problems you described in this post are alleviated, and then hopefully some of the others who posted in here may be able to get some help as well. Good luck!
 
hang in there buddy. been through it..still in it sometimes..but the good seems to be winning out over the bad, a little at a time. this august is gonna be 3 years since i last dropped. it's not an overnight thing..i especially agree with the keeping in shape, ie. excersizing & eating better, and not getting on the anti-depressant crutch. good luck to you.
 
Hey guys, good to hear everyone is keeping positive with this.
As for me, I'm doing much better (not compltely but feeling more myself day by day)
I thought it was neccessary to post here what has helped in my improvement...
1. Centrum vitamins
2. Vitamin B complex (all the B vitamins in it) Especially b6, it helps to produce serotonin and improves your central nervous system basic functions.
3. DO NOT oversleep! This is the worst and makes you feel even more like a zombie throughout the day...
 
Ok guys here it is... i've been taking the 5htps for a week now and i'm ready to report what happened.
First i to just thank everyone here who checks in regularly and supports me and everyone else who are real confused about these kinds of things. I really do appreciate it.
Back to the 5htp...
well like i said i got them from www.americannutrition.com for 12$... 60 pills of 100mg 5htp. I've been taking them every day... usually at evenings since that's what most people said they do here.
One think i need to point out is that they didn't help me sleep at all. In fact... they kept me awake all night =). I feel a little more "alert" after taking them... kind of like caffeine pills. This keeps my mind wide awake when i shut my eyes and try to sleep.
I started taking them in the mornings or afternoons to fix this.
Ok and now to whether they worked or not...
the answer is..
yes.. and no...
It seems i realized that there is more to my problem than just one thing. If you read my posts (especially) the first one.. i complain about numerous things like the daily "murky/cloudy" feeling that just keeps me down. I also complained about that whole autopilot/zombie thing. It seems that they are 2 seperate problems.
The good news is that 5htp has TOTALLY cleared up the murkyness. I dont know if its actually the 5htp, or even if it's a placebo, but all i can say is that i feel alot more alert, awake, and less "depressed" evre since i started taking them. If being depressed is what i think it is... the "murky" and "pressed-down" feeling you get... cloudyness and confusion... then i believe that 5htp does work.
But honestly... i realized that it was the least of the problems. What really bothered me the entire time was the "autopilot/zombie" effect i've been getting. And i still have it. It's like i go through my life now not recording anything... not experiecing anything... not being "MOVED" by anything. i'm just going... moving forward.
Oh yeah forgot to mention... 5htp might have brought some of my mojo back. I feel like my sexual drive went back up somewhat. My sexual drive and motivation to go out have gone up. I'm more motivated about those things now. I find it easier to get aroused... which is a good thing!
Once again.. i don't know if its 5htp or placebo... but hell... 5htp is to thank either way.
SO that's all i really got to report for now...
But i gotta say the zombie effect is the worst. It's not due to the 5htp cause i've always had it before i started taking them. the 5htp hasn't fixed that... i'm not sure if it will. maybe its something psychological that i need to work on myself? who knows.
I think after all the feedback and research there's a good chance i have the seasonal mood disorder that evreyone was talking about. I have to admit... when it's a warm day out and 80 degrees i feel 10x better. When i wake up to a cold dark morning i feel like absolute SHIT. and these feelings all started around the end of november... so it makes sense... ormaybe i just nevre noticed them before? who knows anymore.
I'm looking forward to spring... and i'm going to keep taking these pills for a while to see what happens.
Anyway... just a few questions maybe you guys can help.
Is it ok to mix 5htp with vitamin b complex?? If they react together to produce seratonin... will that be a good thing... or maybe a little TOO much??
And if eX is what puts holes in peoples head in the first place... who says that 5htp wont? won't the extra seratonin do the same damage??
Also... even though the murkyness cleared... i have noticed slight "pains" in my head right around the temples sometimes. It all depends how i move my head and what i'm doing. it's not REALLY BAD but i do notice it sometimes.
Thanks guys...
 
apex,
i was doing the same thing you were before.
I was taking vitamin B complex cause i noticed it wasn't in the centrum vitamins that i was also taking. I took each once a day. I never noticed myself getting better though =(.
DEFINITELY do not sleep too much... it makes things soo much worse.
Good luck.
 
Originally posted by skim:
And if eX is what puts holes in peoples head in the first place... who says that 5htp wont? won't the extra seratonin do the same damage??

1) MDMA does not 'put holes in your head', this is a common misconception. IIRC There is a theory that heavy use dulls the receptors, creating duller spots on a brain activity scan.
2) Totally uneducated guess here, but... 5-HTP is a precursor to seratonin, which means the body uses it to make seratonin. Assuming whatever system does this is regulating itself properly then I assume you won't produce more seratonin than you need.
I have no scientific basis for either of these, but they make sense to me, and are what most people seem to be saying...
Here's to feeling better :)
 
Skim - The autopilot effects have alleviated somewhat in me, however they have not gone away. For me this had manifested itself quite deeply and I felt that I could not talk to people the same way at all - I listened to other peoples conversations and found it hard to remember the last time I'd had one like that, as in conversations I was spending all of my time listening so that I didn't forget what was said. When the time came for me to respond to what was being said, I felt very nervous and wasn't really 'in' the conversation in my head, rather I was just going through the motions and trying not to look stupid, etc.
I say these have been alleviated, and I too find that a sunny day brings out the best in me - I've been feeling pretty shit for the last few days, and it has been really bad weather. I think getting up earlier in the day helps, as opposed to waking up just before the sun goes down (as I was doing before, in Winter). However, I still think that all these problems are related to ecstacy use, and that scares me. One of the main problems that I have, though, is that I think because I am always consciously focusing on these problems, that perhaps they get worse, and this is maybe why when I'm drunk I can communicate with anyone about anything and have completely relaxed, meaningful conversation, where I consider myself to be involved. Just a theory...
Anyway, glad to hear the 5-HTP is going some way in making you feel better, and I wish you every success. If you find anything else that works, post again. BTW, if you think you may have seasonal depression, there is a special lamp you can buy that gives out a special light which can help people with this condition. I'm not sure if it works, but it may be worth a try.
 
Skim: RE: The seasonal mood thing (and your lifeguard/sun exposure): You may want to consider taking vitamin D supplements. When your skin is exposed to sunlight, it produces vitamin D. The "Winter Blues" are partially caused by a lack of UV exposure. Or maybe you could try a tanning booth. Just a suggestion.
For a long time (many years ago) I felt that all of a sudden I had no "motivation". I cared little about doing anything, going anywhere, and had no real ambitions. Is this what you feel? (your zombie/autopilot thing)? I don't know what happened to me, it just went away by itself after a long while. Best of luck!
 
I just read your post for the first time and am feeling a lot of the same thing.... especially the autopilot thing. Its like I dont care about anything anymore, I dont go to class, dont do my homework, dont really do anything. Its like in the morning I'll have all kinds of plans for the day ahead of me to be productive and get things done and it never happens, its like i'm a zombie.
A lot of you have helped me realize that its more than likely related to too many drugs so I'm planning on giving them up for a while. My mom really wants me to go see a doctor and get on antidepressents but I think I'm going to try to get over this on my own for now...start taking 5htp for more than a pre/post load and get back on my workout schedule.
Good luck to you skim, I hope you feel better soon. Keep us posted. And everyone else please keep posting, you're helping more people than you realize.
 
I'm sorry for your discomfort! I have similiar feelings but its because I am a burn out. I think themain thing is your brain and body was so use to the drugs you put in your system that now since you don't put them in your body anymore, its hard for oyur body to function like it use to. Its seems like you body is chemically dependent. You'll see a world of difference if you go to a psycologist and tell him whats been going on so he can talk to you. I do, and if you do end up haveing something wrong wiht your chemical balance in your head then he or she should give you a med or diagnose you with something or send you to a doctor that can make you feel better.
You might have a different kinda depression than anyone else has heard about. I know I can't put a pin point on it but someone can. I am glad that you are doing something to take your mind off of it. Keep it up it might help. keep me posted!
 
I think that some of you misunderstood by what I meant as "zombie/autopilot".
This has little to do with my motivation or ambition... i don't NEED motivation anymore. I just go out and do it.
I still work hard just because i've been use to it... I do skip 15 out of the 21 classes i have a week... but i would have done that anyway where i was messed up or not =). I manage good grades w/out lectures.
But what I meant by the autopilot/zombie is that you no longer feel like yourself.
I feel like a ZOMBIE because I feel like i lost my soul. I'm 2/5s death. It USE to be 1/5s when I started feeling it in november... so i know it got worse (seems to be getting better with spring coming on, or maybe it's the 5htp, wwho knows).
Walking around like a zombie... i just go go go. I do things. It's not that i'm lazy... it's just that I go through everything with no emotion or no reason to react to anything. Which I think is why i don't remember anything... you usually remember important events. If everything seems to be so much less significant, then you don't remember much which is why time flies i guess.
This also explains the autopilot thing...
I think if you say you're a zombie because you don't feel like doing HW or going to class, you just got laziness =P.
Good luck everyone.
PS - Damn this is a long thread.
 
Just to add what i just posted... it's like being high. You don't really remember much cause you probably end up staring at the wall. And my eyes are fucked up as if i was smoking up (visually).
 
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