Whats the point?

[tommy34]

Hey all, I'm 20 years old. I have a great family and I have a job, don't like it but its a job. I don't have any addictions and I exercise regularly. I've felt from about the age of 15 that I was a failure. I felt that no one liked me, even though I had a few friends. Lately it has gotten worse. I want to do something with my life but I have no motivation to get up and enroll into uni or find a apprenticeship. I keep thinking that we live our life and then die. Whats the point? why do I have to life through this shit for nothing. I think I've lost the will to live but I couldn't end my life because of my love and respect for my family. I saw the doctor the other day and he referred me to a psychologist. I haven't called him yet because I cant get up the motivation. I just want it to go away so I can enjoy life and do something with my life. I don't want to have to deal with whats going on in my head. I've dealt with it on my own for the last 5 years and I'm exhausted. I used to go for a drive around my area and enjoy the beautiful trees and landscape but now I look at it and feel nothing. I just wanted to wright down how I was feeling.

 

[Thick_as_a_Planck]

Not to make a snap judgement or anything but it's fairly obvious you have depression or the opening stages of it. It might not feel this way at the moment but you're suffering from a disease, pure and simple. Don't give in to it, it can get a lot worse. There's a very seductive quality to depression whereby you imagine that by not bothering to do anything you'll stop caring/worrying about anything. This is a lie and I'd advise you very strongly not to find out the hard way. I was in the exact same situation as you at about the exact same time in my life, so I'm telling you this from experience. Things can either go up for you from here, or down - way, way fucking down.

I'm not telling you this to scare you... no wait, actually I am. Don't sit and do nothing, don't tell yourself being depressed will make you a unique and interesting person, don't let it drag you down, cause if you do it will fuck you, badly. Go and see your psych, get prescribed some meds and do a few therapy sessions. Have the courage to open up to your psych a little and once you're feeling a little better, go out and find a new job or a degree that suits you.

I really really hope you follow this advice, though I have a feeling you might be already too far gone. I hope not. Good luck.

 

[Legerity]

I think we often have to discover our own way of living a meaningful life. Society itself IMO is like an experiment gone terribly wrong, and so it's often difficult to find satisfaction in our day to day experience.

But this doesn't mean you are destined to be miserable, just that you need to find what works for you. Why don't you try exploring different kinds of spirituality? Meditation? Find a way to express your creativity? Work on developing meaningful connections to other people?

Despair can be seductive like the previous poster said, so it is easy to dig deeper and deeper until you reach a point that is difficult to get out of. But it can also be a springboard for discovering what it is that you really want out of your life.

 

[theotherside]

Yes life is tedious, and it drags sometimes....well a lot of times, but the point is that just because you might not fly away to a magical heaven when you die, you are made of stars my friend, and who knows what it feels like to escape this bodily prison and exist as stardust. Nothing to worry about, don't panic......working becomes easier once you get a little more years under your belt(I'm 28). Don't think about the ultimate long-run(death) too much or you will become depressed.

 

[tommy34]

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I will call the psyc today and make an appointment.