Mental Health whats the point of living, if you cant be happy anymore [in relationships?]?

[andreass]

1. If you can never again be equal to girls anymore, which have regular sex since youth, had a few thousand times sex and orgasms
2. If you can never be equal to others, because you didnt have fun in youth, was not going on vacations, out with friends, parties, drinking, drugs, which is sign of big person this days

Whats the point of going to new job, working hard, start new life if you cant be equal to others anyway and therefor not happy anymore. Others will be always above me, because they had fun in youth

 

[Felonious Monk]

Comparing yourself to other people is a sure fire way to make yourself even less satisfied.

Are you satisfied with you? Can you improve your own lot in life? That's all it takes to be happy, oftentimes even less. It's really just depends on deciding you're going to be happy because there's no point in not being happy.

 

[busted.produk]

Life is what you make of it.
Every day you wake up gives you a chance to experience amazing things...
Comparing lifes paths shouldnt dictate hapiness.

 

[alasdairm]

i think we did this already: how to deal with being unequal to girls?

alasdair

 

[andreass]

Comparing yourself to other people is a sure fire way to make yourself even less satisfied.

Are you satisfied with you? Can you improve your own lot in life? That's all it takes to be happy, oftentimes even less. It's really just depends on deciding you're going to be happy because there's no point in not being happy.

Comparing yourself to others in numbers and statistic means being a realist.

 

[alasdairm]

andreass, you seek the opinions of others then just dismiss them. you do not seem interested in a discussion - you seem to want to just engage in a pity-party and have people agree with you. as such, i'd suggest that a discussion board is not really a suitable forum for your posts.

if you want to just post a monologue about how pointless and miserable your life is, maybe a blog is a better choice?

alasdair

 

[Felonious Monk]

Comparing yourself to others in numbers and statistic means being a realist.

No it doesn't.

Comparing yourself to baseline needs or objective health/economic goals is being a realist.

Comparing yourself to others is just silly, how do you know that the person is a good comparison? You're comparing your inside to their outside.

 

[GolemGolem]

The problem is I'm not sure at all that your realism is realistic.
"1. If you can never again be equal to girls anymore, which have regular sex since youth, had a few thousand times sex and orgasms"
I've known some pretty happy 40yo twins who are still virgins. They've got jobs, dogs, family, and each other.
Besides, that attitude is terrible, and won't help you with the ladies, at all.
So lets start on empathy...how about some volunteer work, great way to feel useful and meet people. If you need to be evil, it's also a great way to remind yourself that some folks are worse off than you.

 

[andreass]

Volunteer work or doing anything doesnt change facts i was not the same big person as those girls who have sex since 18 regulary. Its fact. Its finished book. The number of sex they had. The joys, fun, laughts, orgasms durring sex. There is nothing i can do anymore. I am labeled forever

It seems you dont understand what it means to have life where every day is hell, because you cant be on level of others anymore, because they won in youth. What it means to be so behind in everything.

 

[DickJohnson]

little confused by what you're saying but if you're saying you never did drugs and partied when you were younger, then you should realize that you are very blessed. I didn't even have a social life up until college, but i still had to go through drug addiction from 8th grade till i graduated. Ended up making friends in college after i got completely sober, but that quickly took a turn for the worse when i got introduced to coke and adderall, after i got caught up in the fun of having friends and in a way felt like a celebrity since i had never gotten that much attention before. It just made things worse. I've been through a lot in life, anything from death of loved ones, to traumatic experiences and the worst that i have had to deal with is drugs, which is mainly the cause of all the other bad things that have happened to me. I've thought about suicide multiple times but something always clicks in my head at how stupid that is to do. I'm on my fifth year of college and still have at least another year and maybe another semester, i have no job, i still battle with drug addiction daily, I've never had a girlfriend, even tho I occasionally get girls, but not in the relationship way that i have always wanted and the one night stands just make me feel even more lonely. I have money troubles out the ass, i've lost every one of my few friends from high school to drugs, i have no relationship with my dad and my mom (who's the one person in this world that i fully love and trust) isn't doing too good, health and depression wise. I've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADD and i struggle with those more than you could imagine. I could go on and on, but the thing is, i've learned to accept all of this and to expect more shit to happen. Life sucks sometimes, but you just have to deal with it. A song that really helps me when i get like that is a song by Wax called "Continue". Listen to it closely and check out his other songs. His songs show that you're not the only one who feels like this or goes through bullshit but you just gotta accept it and have fun with it. hope this helps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEbTPtMEVYY

 

[andreass]

All people have problems in life sooner or later. That's why its important that you have fun in youth. In those important years from 16-24. Nobody can take you this victories away. Having a lot of sex, party a lot. Or in women case, having sex with many men. Bad things will come, but you can always remember you were brave, wild girl, who did it all, all fetishes, all drugs and bad things. This is what makes a human big. This is why young people do it.

I know a lot of girls who had many sex partners and most of people i know had regular sex in their life. So dont tell me i am equal if its clear i can never be on level of those people anymore. They did big things, i didn't. It simple as that. And therefor, there really is no reason to live anymore

 

[SKL]

Thanks for pointing this out, alasdair:

i think we did this already: how to deal with being unequal to girls?

alasdair

And I would note that the linked thread has been closed, largely due to what we are already seeing here: a less than productive and frankly exhausting cycle of people trying to giving real advice, only to be shut down by OP's responses which are oerwhelmingly negative. In a clinical context this callde "negative self-talk," overcoming hich is one of the major targets of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT.) I bring this up because I think that OP's question is much more about self-perception and frame of mind.

It's easy to blame one's beng in a bad place psychological about relational difficulties, but makes as much, if not more sense, to invert the causality and blame one's relational problems on one's psychological issues or, more broadly, one's ways of perceiving, analyzing and relating to the world and othes in it.

As for this thread i'm notsure here is much to say. It has been done in SLR (and not just by this OP, but rather by a few lately), to similar results. It is not on topic for SO. So as a last resort here I am going to move to Mental Health, because some of the statements made "why go on living, etc." seem to point to depressive issues, etc. And in the strongest possible sense I would urge OP to seek out professional mental health care, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy and also possibly medication. But I can neither diagnose nor prescribe over the Internet, nor can any of us. MH may however be a better place to get support around the underlying issues, not just one particularly salient symptom (the inability to meet your own, or society's, standards for romantic success.)

As one last tangent, however, a lot of times people's expectations are inflated with regards to their partner, their ease of finding (and keeping a partner.) For this I'd blame the media and particularly pornography. Your own use of these may be a worthwhile topic of discussion.

SO --> MH

 

[Ozle]

I've been in a similar mindset to you in the past (albeit for different reasons), and the best I can say is...don't go down the path of nihilism; even Nietzsche, who essentially founded the kind of reasoning you basically appear (from what you say) to be heading towards, eventually for all intents and purposes ended up renouncing it.

 

[GolemGolem]

Thanks for pointing this out, alasdair:
In a clinical context this callde "negative self-talk," overcoming hich is one of the major targets of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT.) I bring this up because I think that OP's question is much more about self-perception and frame of mind.
. And in the strongest possible sense I would urge OP to seek out professional mental health care, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy and also possibly medication.

Good advice here.
So Op, why didn't you have fun from 16-24? Plenty of folks out there who physically can't take drugs and/or fuck ever in their lives - that still want to live, and of course some who don't. . .why do some want to live?

 

[szuko000]

I find living for others causes strain in ones life. To put it simply why does any of that stuff even matter to you? It would appear you are seeking approval or validation through others, an endeavor that will not end well for anyone ever. If you want to sleep with women you have to love yourself and think your the shit first, how else are you going to convince people you are worth their time? There must be one thing in this world you like, be it playing music, drawing, even doing math there must be one thing that makes the world fade away as you do it, focus on that and eventually someone will think your amazing for it.

Walking around acting like your not worth anyones time is what makes you not worth anyones time. As others have said I am sure this will fall to deaf ears.

 

[weekend addiction]

1. If you can never again be equal to girls anymore, which have regular sex since youth, had a few thousand times sex and orgasms
2. If you can never be equal to others, because you didnt have fun in youth, was not going on vacations, out with friends, parties, drinking, drugs, which is sign of big person this days

Whats the point of going to new job, working hard, start new life if you cant be equal to others anyway and therefor not happy anymore. Others will be always above me, because they had fun in youth

1. You never were equal to girls. They always get to pick who they want (at least for the night) and guys will usually kiss their ass. Its life. My friends mom told her 9 yr. old daughter "don't ever forget you got a little ATM machine between your legs and don't be afraid to use it." The suggestion something might lead to sex is enough for most guys to get stupid.

2. I did plenty of drugs and drinking when I was younger and still do now. It doesn't mean I've had a lotta friends or parties or even pleasant memories. Life isn't a Van Wilder movie the drugs and the drinking don't make you cool and friends and parties come and go. I moved around all my life so every couple years I would have to start over and make friends all through high school and even college and post college. Being part of "the cool kids" at one school\town meant fuck all when I got to the next town. Alotta the time I was the cool kid, just as many times I wasn't... It means fuck all if one group of people like you or not.

Eg. Every body hated me at my last job but I'm usually well-liked by everyone. Means fuck all cause I don't work there anymore.

 

[andreass]

Good advice here.
So Op, why didn't you have fun from 16-24? Plenty of folks out there who physically can't take drugs and/or fuck ever in their lives - that still want to live, and of course some who don't. . .why do some want to live?

I was not brave enough to have women, little confidence. But this is not important now. What is imporant is results, numbers, facts how little i had from life compare to others. I am labeled forever.

Yes, some dont care about this, but this are people. Many people prefer lie to themself or wash their brain thru psychotherapy instead of admiting themself, they didnt have in life the most important things like the greatest and most beautiful people. Its much easier to lie to yourself that this is not imporant, then to take the truth.

Nick Vujicic also a good example of lying to yourself...

 

[andreass]

1. You never were equal to girls. They always get to pick who they want (at least for the night) and guys will usually kiss their ass. Its life. My friends mom told her 9 yr. old daughter "don't ever forget you got a little ATM machine between your legs and don't be afraid to use it." The suggestion something might lead to sex is enough for most guys to get stupid.

Exactly, women are the winners of life and i cant deal with this I cant have a human which is better then me.

Just last week i got news from one co worker about 2 girls, that they have been having sex with everybody in the city where they study (and those are really cute girls). And how many are there about which i dont know? How many from those girls i see on street had threesomes, bdsm sex, group sex and all those big things? Many and i can never again be on their level simply...

I dont want women that have not been with many guys. For me this is a sign of a great person if women had much sex, party and many partners in youth. Shows this is a big, brave, confident person.

 

[RDP89]

Exactly, women are the winners of life and i cant deal with this I cant have a human which is better then me.

Just last week i got news from one co worker about 2 girls, that they have been having sex with everybody in the city where they study (and those are really cute girls). And how many are there about which i dont know? How many from those girls i see on street had threesomes, bdsm sex, group sex and all those big things? Many and i can never again be on their level simply...

I dont want women that have not been with many guys. For me this is a sign of a great person if women had much sex, party and many partners in youth. Shows this is a big, brave, confident person.

So wats the fuckin problem then, go fuck some sluts, if that's what you want. Think you're just a troll though.

 

[suzieq70s]

Exactly, women are the winners of life and i cant deal with this I cant have a human which is better then me.

Just last week i got news from one co worker about 2 girls, that they have been having sex with everybody in the city where they study (and those are really cute girls). And how many are there about which i dont know? How many from those girls i see on street had threesomes, bdsm sex, group sex and all those big things? Many and i can never again be on their level simply...

I dont want women that have not been with many guys. For me this is a sign of a great person if women had much sex, party and many partners in youth. Shows this is a big, brave, confident person.

Why do you insist on it having to be a woman who has had a great multitude of sex with several partners done a lot of drugs and a lot of partying.

Or maybe a better question is why are you ruling out the quiet shy women. The ones who didn't have a lot of friends and still don't. The ones who have only been with a couple of guys. The ones who never went to a single party on high school. There are plenty out there.

Why do you think it is that one is preferable over the other. Each woman has their own individual personality regardless if they were the partying type or not etc.

I would think you would be torturing yourself less if you focused more on the individuality of a woman and who they are now instead of their past.

I hope that doesn't come across as criticizing. I'm just trying to understand it all better.

And I mean no offense to anyone. It takes all types to make the world go around