Whats everyones view of sex-on-premises venues or backrooms etc?

[the_ketaman]

Ok so I went to a gay sauna for the first time the other night. It had been on my mind for quite some time but was always too scared due to HIV, rape etc Once I actually chose a venue and ventured inside I found it was quit the opposite of what I was expectinng.

I spent time in the sauna/steamroom and spa and learnt how to cruise and the guys I did play with were done with the highest level of safety. All my preconceptions are totally gone BUT I apparently chose the cleanest, most encouraging of safe sex and is cleaned very well, very regularly.

Ive been reading a lot though and ive seen that many sex venues which I will now call SOP's are nothing like what we have in australia. Many dont promotoe safe sex. Some have HIV poz nights and HIV Neg nights which is unbelievably irresponsible for any business as surely theres going to be positive people at the neg parties. Ive many of them overseas can be pretty horrible places. Sure theres probably hot guys galore but the whole bareback, unsafe sex thing is very offputting,

I heard of a story of a guy getting fucked in a sling and he got given a shot(as in IV injection) and he though it was crystal meth but it was ketamine and it knocked him out for over and hour while a plethora of men pounded him withor without a condom. He thinks he got HIV from that incident and that scares the crap out of me. Course I used meth myself and usually do when I have sex but id d never let someone else do me up especially if they didnt mix up in front of me!

What are your opinions or experiences or sex venues/SOP's?

 

[the_ketaman]

And by the way I will be visiting again, shopping around to check out other venues and enjoying myself because as long as you have safe sex course there are other things to wirry about but with the staff and other patrons being everywhere its pretty hard for someone to fuck around with you(in a bad way ) The biggest thing ive been told to worry about is in backrooms and cruise clubs where you keep your clothes on to watch out for pickpockets.

But yeah, I had sex with a few guys, enjoyed myself a lot, didnt regret anything and have decided not to use the internet to hook up much anymore because to amount of different guys and the amount who were ncredibly hot were quite high. Online most of the time its just games. While im having a break from relationships I think ive found my place for a bit of fun every now and again. Not to mention the relaxation areas are social, have computers, coffe & tea, safe sex info and staff to help with anything.

 

[Bearlove]

The story about the guy getting an IV shot - Surely if he was that bothered about his own safety he wouldn't be accepting shots from strangers? Let's face it if he is on a sling, ass out in a sauna and ready to IV meth then the chances of him being fussy if guys wore a condom or not could be called into question ?

Know a lot of guys who are into them but never really sparked that much interest for me - I really think the experience has a lot to do with the way the establishment is run. I really do not like the idea of HIV + / - nights, are they saying on the HIV- nights everyone is safe so no need to wear protection? I have been to certain bars /clubs where sex on premises was permitted and again they can be fun / horrendous depending on the way they are managed etc.

 

[augustaB]

Many gay bars and clubs here have dark rooms. Cannot say that they appeal to me much, although I have been in a couple of times. In general I find the idea more exciting than the reality.

 

[Tude]

If I were you, I would leave my wallet/valuables at home or in your car, hidden from sight to discourage thieves. Maybe you could bring a friend or two with you as a sort of "buddy system?"

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I've never been to a bath house, sauna, or public sex club. I have been to adult bookstores, men's bathrooms, and probably men's locker rooms where public sex between bisexual and gay men went on but I've never had sex in any of those places.

In the past I dated and had relationships with bisexual and gay men who were once into going to bath houses, orgies, sex clubs, adult bookstores, or men's bathrooms or locker rooms where public sex goes on. When I dated them they were not into going to any of those places anymore and even if they had wanted me to go or suggested that we go together I would have said no thanks.

At the current time my partner has never done any of that and I do not have any interest in being with a male or female partner who wants to go to public sex clubs or the other places I mentioned to have sex.

If other people want to do this either alone or with a partner it's OK but it's not something that interests me.

A bisexual guy I met while in college told me that a local bar near the town I grew up in had a backroom. I went there thinking I could just watch and the backroom turned out to be a back bar with a piano and lots of old queens singing Broadway musical songs. The bar had hotel rooms you could rent for the entire night but those were for people who were visiting the area for vacation and out of state, or for people who had too much to drink who did not feel comfortable driving home and who had went to the bar alone without a friend or designated driver.

ALL sex carries some risk. Unless you were mainly a voyeur or just got with men and watched each other masturbate, or did BDSM or fetish sex with no fluid exchange like spanking, bondage, etc. there's going to be some risk of HIV and other STDs.

Condoms work pretty well at not infecting you or the other person with HIV provided they do not break or get micro tears or don't slip off but some STDs like herpes and HPV are spread via skin to skin contact and people get them even if they are using a condom correctly.

I also find the whole HIV+/HIV- night to be very odd. A lot of gay men who claim to be "neg" really are not and lie about it or just tell someone who they're in a partnership with, and do not tell random people who they have safer sex with or have NSA hook ups with. I also agree that some people are going to assume that if other people are HIV neg or claim to be HIV neg that it's fine to not use condoms or practice safer sex at all.

But you also have men who are HIV+ who think that it's perfectly fine to not use condoms with another person who is HIV+ but this is not true since you can get infected with other strains of HIV, get re-infected with the strain you were originally infected with, infect someone else with a new strain, and if you and the other person/people are on meds it can mess up how effectively those meds work for both of you. You can also get Hepatitis C this way and other STDs.

Just assume that everyone who you have sex with or want to have sex with is HIV+ or has other STDs and have safer sex. Do this even if they pull out recent test results and swear they're neg for HIV and all STDs as it can take up to 6 months for someone to show up as being HIV+ and they could have been recently infected. Or even if they claim they're a complete virgin.

Having sex while intoxicated on alcohol, meth, and/or other drugs does increase your risk for having unsafe sex and contracting HIV or another STD since those drugs lower your inhibitions. Good luck and be safe.

I agree with leaving your valuables and wallet in a car in the trunk. People I know who have been to bath houses or sex clubs would just take the money they needed to get in for a cover charge, and an ID with them as the front desk check in area would take the ID and you'd get it back once you left. Some places here in the United States have lockers with keys that the staff gives you. This guy I met in a bar told my friend and I how we should just go to bath house and leave our stuff there and spend the night there instead of getting a hotel room as my friend was visiting me from out of town; but my friend and I did not think this was safe so we just stayed in a hotel room instead in separate beds.