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What to do?

Whosajiggawaaa

Whosajiggawaaa

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I initially posted this anonymously - but no one moved it or responded to it, so I figured here is the best place for this thread :).

I've been on anti-psychotics for 5 years (risperidone) and 15 mg midazolam to sleep at night. This was for severe anxiety and mood disorders. Now I don't get anxious and am very comfortable in my skin (have a big social life), comfortable around people. My problem is I just feel so dead inside - nothing affects me - life just seems to pass me by (it's like I'm watching a movie of it - so detached). The only way I can muster any of the familiar enthusiasm I used to have for lifeis by taking copious amounts of codeine and tramadol.

Now I would like to regain a sense of reality and clarity- but I don't want it to return to severe anxiety and mood disordered living. I would see my psychiatrist but he/she seems to not be very good (when ever I see him he just goes on about diet and exercise) and I don't really wanna go over his head.

Some input and advice would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

Thanks
 
Yeah, get off the risperidone first of all. I suggest tapering off fairly slowly so you don't experience re-bound anxiety/agitation etc. See how you do without it. You will likely feel better.
 
Hi there :). Sorry about your post not getting attention in the homeless thread, but I'm glad you made it here.

As for feeling surreal and disconnected, do you drink or intake any drugs or chemicals. Why I am asking is because for a while I was experiencing severe bouts of anxiety, disconnectedness, I would feel as though my brain was shutting off for a second and I was going to fall backwards. I thought I was going blind as my vision had drastically declined.

I was not using any drugs so I believed that this severe problem I was having was due to some other outside source. I started typing in symptoms and for a while was extremely convinced that my house was overrun by black mold. I was freaking out daily telling my boyfriend, my family, my coworkers all of my symptoms and how I knew black mold was the culprit. It got pretty ridiculous and people started to worry. I was buying test kits and calling mold people. I made several doctor appointments to address my black mold inhalation.

It is a funny thing that in todays society drinking is a social norm. It is legal and accepted so of course when I was guzzling a bottle+ per day, I didn't even think twice about it.

When I was able to get a grasp on my alcohol consumption, after a month or so the symptoms began to lift. I am now 100% positive I can identify all of the symptoms and relate them all to my alcohol abuse.
 
Why are you on midazolam for sleep? That is some hardcore stuff right there. It is usually used to give people temporary memory loss and loss of consciousness during things such as a colonoscopy.
 
Yeah, midazolam seems to be prescribed quite readily for severe insomnia in my country. I'm sure it's not helping me by having been on it for so long. No I don't take any other drugs (besides from codeine and tramadol) and drink very seldom. I'm thinking of finding a new psych, but I some how feel like it's being disloyal to my current one, as I've been with him for so long. He resigns in soon anyway, dunno what will happen to my scripts then :O. I'm just scared that playing with my med's will result in unwanted results. But I'm sick of "living a dream" so to speak.
 
It bears repeating, seriously get off the risperidone. First of all, you are on a fairly high dose of risperidone, and neuroleptics (anti-psychotics) will zombifiy you without a doubt esp. in higher doses. They are unhealthy, dangerous drugs. I would be much less concerned about taking midazolam at night for insomnia, because you are taking it orally, and midazolam doesn't have a very long half-life, in fact, I believe it is quite short even when taken orally. So, I doubt the midazolam is effecting your waking hours, where I see the risperidone defintely is. You don't have to drop it cold turkey, taper it somewhat slowly, see how you feel, and eventually get off if you can. Best of luck.
 
Risperidone is a nasty, nasty, drug, aside from all of the physical side effects it has, it definitely puts you in a "dream like" feeling, especially if youve been on it for a long time. Definitely taper down off the risperidone. Do it slowly and comfortably, and make sure you ask someone one here if you need help, thats some nasty stuff...
 
Cool thanks for the feed back. Just to clarify I'm on 1.5mg risperidone a night, from what I gather a relatively low dose. So I've decided to take your guys' advice and start tapering, going to take 1 mg then 1.5mg every other night for a week and so on and till I phase it out. Hopefully it'll bring me clarity.
 
I misread, you aren't on 5 mg thank god, but tapering is still a very good idea, and will likely help you tremendously.
 
K, saw my psych - said I should just go straight down to 1mg and next month .05 mg and the month after that I should be off. It's been 10 days of 1mg (from the former 1.5mg) and for the first few days I regained some clarity - but now I still feel sorta dreamy, hope when I'm finally off it things will feel more real. I am now on Loprazolam to instead of Midazolam too.
 
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