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What to do in this situation?

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Memeito

Bluelighter
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Jul 2, 2010
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In my building there's a girl that I like. I tried to talk to her, but she tries to avoid me - she probably thinks I'm weird or something...
Anyway, one day, I arrived at the entrance of the building, I opened the door and I see that she is coming towards the building. So, I keep the door opened for her like a gentleman and I wait her to enter with a stupid smile on my face. However, she doesn't hurry at all, she barely moves and acts like she doesn't even see me that I'm there holding the door for her. Just a few steps before entering she suddently stops, and starts to check her phone for messages. Meanwhile I'm staying there feeling like an idiot with the door opened, so I get fed up and let the door to close. The girl, then starts to move again and the door just slams in her face. Through the door's window, I see her acting very surprised and with a mean look on her face.
Next thing I now, she started to spread rumors to the neighbour that I'm a jerk and that I slammed the door in her face...
Is there anything that I can do?
 
you don't know why she was on her phone. you were clearly opening up the door as a self congratulatory way to creep on her instead of a genuine way to be polite, otherwise you wouldn't need her to do what? suck your dick for holding the door? wink at you? become overwhelmed with such a grand gesture and give you her personal contact information?
does this neighbor she is "spreading rumors" to actually exist?
did you ever think of just introducing yourself somehow?
if you have "tried to talk to her" and she "avoids you", leave her alone?
 
Memeito said:
Next thing I now, she started to spread rumors to the neighbour that I'm a jerk and that I slammed the door in her face... Is there anything that I can do?
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Yes, man up and ask her number. This way you can text her whenever you will open the door for her and she will know.

More seriously: relax.
 
Jean-Paul said:
you were clearly opening up the door as a self congratulatory way to creep on her instead of a genuine way to be polite, otherwise you wouldn't need her to do what? suck your dick for holding the door? wink at you? become overwhelmed with such a grand gesture and give you her personal contact information?
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^Same kind of person who complains about never getting asked out...
 
Neighbors suck and if they don't at first they will find a way.

But probably in your case - you read too much into everything up to this point and she didn't even notice you before the door hit her face. No wonder she's annoyed and no wonder you are also.

Short answer: let it go. Be nice to her but only when she's in close proximity and you don't have to make an extra effort. <<<Posted it and realised i described basic human interaction there... So, just.. acting like an human being solves lot of problems, it would seem..
 
The thing is, I was many time admonished by my mother and ex-gf that I don't hold the door opened for them. So, I thought it would be nice and polite to hold that door for the girl. But apparently she couldn't care less about it. However, she was very surprised when I slammed the door in her face. Which I totally did on purpose, but she can't know this - all she can know is that I simply let go of the door and then it closed itself.
 
There is little you can do when socially akward and self-absorbed air heads don't appreciate your strange passive-aggresive advances.
 
Oh noods <3

Honestly man, why didn't you just 'hello' before you got fed up?
If she completely ignored you, you could have just left anyway, whereas there was still the chance of sparking a passionate and intense moment of awkward mousy.

If she's avoiding you, I say you should just ease up on all advances.

There is evidence in favour of her being disinterested in you, whereas there's no evidence in favour of her being interested.
You could fight the odds if you want, sometimes you just wanna be foolish, akin to me questioning JP's attitude.
 
Memeito said:
However, she was very surprised when I slammed the door in her face. Which I totally did on purpose, but she can't know this - all she can know is that I simply let go of the door and then it closed itself.
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Hold on, so you DID slam the door in her face? No wonder she hates your guts!

Aren't you the same guy that was facebook-stalking a girl a little while ago?
 
Tude said:
Hold on, so you DID slam the door in her face? No wonder she hates your guts!
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Yeah, but she can't know this...All she could tell from where she was standing is that I simply let go of the door and it simply closed itself.
I mean, how long was I supposed to stay there holding the door opened? The seconds were passing so slow and I felt like an idiot just standing there and being ignored.
 
DeathDomokun said:
You obviously don't like her, else you wouldn't be slamming doors in her face.
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I was pretty angry then for being ignored just like that...Sometimes I can't control myself and I do weird things...

Anyway, after a week, when I was returning home, I saw her in front of the door, carrying a big backpack. She was nervous and walking left and right. I believe she didn't have the key to the building door and there was no one else in her apartment to answer the intercom and open the door from inside. She flinched when she saw me, and then I saw relief on her face. However, I just walked past the building and entered a shop. I didn't want to face her in any way. I bought a pack of gum and watched her through the shop's window. She was nervous again, watching in all directions hoping that another neighbour would come and open the door. Several minutes passed, I couldn't wait in the shop anymore, so I exited the store and went to my building. I made sure she saw I bought the pack of gum, and I didn't simply went past the building so I wouldn't face her. I opened the door and let her inside. We didn't say anything to each other - it was an awkard moment....
Any suggestions? How should I approach this girl the next time?
 
Memeito said:
In my building there's a girl that I like. I tried to talk to her, but she tries to avoid me
Click to expand...

This is really a sign that you should leave her alone. You like her, you've tried, she's not interested. Respect that decision, and go looking for someone who will like and appreciate you :)
 
Memeito said:
Yeah, but she can't know this...All she could tell from where she was standing is that I simply let go of the door and it simply closed itself.
I mean, how long was I supposed to stay there holding the door opened? The seconds were passing so slow and I felt like an idiot just standing there and being ignored.
Click to expand...


Obviously, she DOES know this. You could've just let the door go. You were just holding the door open, not giving her CPR or something. Were you expecting her to declare her love to you?
 
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