• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ

What the hell is happening with me :(

B

bonnor

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 6, 2015
Messages
2
Hey guys.. I posted a thread 3 weeks ago here, writing this:
-----------
Hey guys,

I am currently sitting in my bed, shaking a little bit, feeling anxious and unable to fall asleep. I experienced this (much worse) yesterday at about same time. I am 21, male, and have a little experience with drugs (had shrooms once, mdma twice and cocaine once in the past, smoke weed twice a month)

The thing is, I had exctasy for the first time in my life 6 days ago, had terrible 5 minutes before kick-in, then a great trip. Day after that (New Years Eve) I got so drunk I dont rememer a single thing, I ended up very close to alcohol intoxication, I looked horrible. My friends say that I claimed I had cocaine that night, but unfortunately I can not remember. I had no comedown from exctasy and felt pretty normal after that alcohol & probably cocaine night as I vomited everything and my friends took good care of me.

However, I felt little bit strange and negative the next 3 days, had little trouble falling asleep, but everything seemed normal. But yesterday was bad...

Yesterday's morning I woke up and felt very strange, my heart was beating fast, I started to shake and became very anxious. Fortunately, my girlfriend woke up too and made me relaxed (but I felt really bad for like 30 minutes and the anxiety was enormous, absolutely no positive feelings, everything was bad, I was scared for my life). After she cooled me down, I fell asleep again and felt normal today. Until now.

In the moment I laid down to my bed, the shaking started again, anxiety kicked in and I have no idea what to do :( I calmed down a little bit writing this thread. Im sure that it will start again once I lay down though (its better when I sit, I simply can not lay down, that makes it worse).

Any help from more experienced people will be appreciated, help me please :( I have no idea how to fall asleep, whether this will return tommorow night and so on and so on..
--------------

There are 2 main reasons why I am posting this and requesting your help :(

The first one: I found out I did not have cocaine, BUT I HAD LSD. I found out there was a guy offering drugs at the party, I called him and he remembered I had LSD. If I wasn't so drunk, I would not take it. Unfortunately, I can not remeber a single thing from the trip.

The second, and more important: After those terrible 2 days, I eventually got back to fully normal state (it took like 5 days to become normal mentally). I was happy it disappeared, got back to my exercise routine, ate well etc. I thanked God it went away. But then I had the last exam and I studied really hard for 5 days, did not have lot of sleep, ate junk food, got slightly drunk once and smoked a little bit of weed too. 3 days ago, the feeling came again...

I was laying in the bed with my girlfriend and suddenly, my hands started to sweat and my heart started to beat fast. I knew something is wrong. Got the same negative feelings, had trouble falling asleep, thank God my girlfriend was there again and calmed me down. It wasn't as bad as 3 weeks ago, but still pretty bad. The next day I was very negative, scared, there were horrible scenarios coming to my mind (that this will last forever, that my gf will leave me if I stay like this etc.). I had no libido, was not feeling horny at all, which made it even worse, because I felt like crap not pleasing my gf, who was absolutely fantastic and supportive the whole time (I still felt like crap). And again, trouble falling asleep, feeling very negative the next day. This is the 4th day, it started to get better a little bit, but I still have bad feeling, life seems very boring, I still have bad scenarios in my mind.
------------------

How the hell is this possible, after 2 weeks of being totally normal, without any sign of worsening? What should I do? :( I am really concerned about my mental health in the long-term, I appreciate any kind of advice :(

Thanks in advance guys
 
maybe your drug use has manifested an underlying anxiety/panic disorder.

sounds like you're going to be fine, a lot of those symptoms sound like anxiety.
 
Yea I think your psyche just hasn't gotten over that troubling night and the anxiety afterwards. It's probably all psychosomatic at this point.
 
You can stop making a huge deal out of it. That will help. The more you think and harp on it the more anxious you will feel. It doesn't sound like anything too serious. You'd be fine. Just try to relax. Anxiety is heavily manifested in the mind. Once you start working yourself up into an anxious state it will only escalate. The best thing to do when this is happening is too BREATHE. Most people forget this in the panicking mindset.

I do agree that anxiety can seemingly come out of nowhere, but once your mind notices those anxious feelings it starts to prepare for another attack and this causes it to just escalate.
 
You just screwed up and took a neurotoxic compound, MDMA, and then took something that was represented as LSD but could really have been an NBOMe. You also nearly killed yourself by alcohol poisoning. Not surprising, therefore, that you're having some anxiety attacks. Let this be a lesson to you that MDMA is bad and alcohol is worse and that alcohol can cause you to lose control of your body, rendering you an automaton which will take anything anybody gives you. That could have been a cyanide capsule instead of an LSD blotter and you would have taken it, because you were in a state of delirium caused by drinking a poisonous solvent, ethanol. You see, "the man" will sell you ethanol and tell you it's something which is drinkable when in fact it is a deadly poison. Now you must never let them trick you like that again. Also, don't take MDMA because, as I mentioned, it's neurotoxic and is just plain shit. It's not really a hallucinogen, it's not really a stimulant, it's just some shit.
 
jason7 said:
You just screwed up and took a neurotoxic compound, MDMA, and then took something that was represented as LSD but could really have been an NBOMe. You also nearly killed yourself by alcohol poisoning. Not surprising, therefore, that you're having some anxiety attacks. Let this be a lesson to you that MDMA is bad and alcohol is worse and that alcohol can cause you to lose control of your body, rendering you an automaton which will take anything anybody gives you. That could have been a cyanide capsule instead of an LSD blotter and you would have taken it, because you were in a state of delirium caused by drinking a poisonous solvent, ethanol. You see, "the man" will sell you ethanol and tell you it's something which is drinkable when in fact it is a deadly poison. Now you must never let them trick you like that again. Also, don't take MDMA because, as I mentioned, it's neurotoxic and is just plain shit. It's not really a hallucinogen, it's not really a stimulant, it's just some shit.
Click to expand...

I agree with your statement on alcohol, but not at all with the one on MDMA. Not a hallucinogen? Then you either got some bunk shit or didn't take enough. I've taken MDMA a couple times. On doses of .25 and up, I see the room start changing colors and the pictures start shifting around the walls, in fact, I've gotten better CEVs on MDMA than on comparable doses of LSD. On top of that, it feels like cosmic love is flowing through me like a waterfall. If that's not psychedelic, I don't know what is. Many friends of mine have had similar experiences. As for the neurotoxicity of MDMA, yeah it's neurotoxic in high/frequent enough doses, but if you use it responsibly, nothing bad will happen to the average person's brain from taking MDMA.
 
Like it's been mentioned, sounds like panic attacks brought on by your binge. Try controlling your breathing if it happens again.
 
CrypticArc said:
I agree with your statement on alcohol, but not at all with the one on MDMA. Not a hallucinogen? Then you either got some bunk shit or didn't take enough. I've taken MDMA a couple times. On doses of .25 and up, I see the room start changing colors and the pictures start shifting around the walls, in fact, I've gotten better CEVs on MDMA than on comparable doses of LSD. On top of that, it feels like cosmic love is flowing through me like a waterfall. If that's not psychedelic, I don't know what is. Many friends of mine have had similar experiences. As for the neurotoxicity of MDMA, yeah it's neurotoxic in high/frequent enough doses, but if you use it responsibly, nothing bad will happen to the average person's brain from taking MDMA.
Click to expand...

When I tried it I didn't really like it. It's also a lot of chemical for your body to deal with, like 200 mg. I'm surprised it's popular considering the sheer logistics of dealing with that much weight per dose. It's a lot of material to move around.
 
jason7 said:
When I tried it I didn't really like it. It's also a lot of chemical for your body to deal with, like 200 mg. I'm surprised it's popular considering the sheer logistics of dealing with that much weight per dose. It's a lot of material to move around.
Click to expand...

Actual weight of dosage doesn't play into the body's ability to "deal with" the chemical. When you take a multi-vitamin, fish oil pill, any supplement it's always way over 200mg. When it comes to that being a lot of material to move around, you have to remember that it's still denser and probably less mg/"dose" than weed, ketamine, etc. I think you're a little to transfixed on the dosage required through a view relative to say, psychedelic dosages.
 
jason7 said:
You just screwed up and took a neurotoxic compound, MDMA, and then took something that was represented as LSD but could really have been an NBOMe. You also nearly killed yourself by alcohol poisoning. Not surprising, therefore, that you're having some anxiety attacks. Let this be a lesson to you that MDMA is bad and alcohol is worse and that alcohol can cause you to lose control of your body, rendering you an automaton which will take anything anybody gives you. That could have been a cyanide capsule instead of an LSD blotter and you would have taken it, because you were in a state of delirium caused by drinking a poisonous solvent, ethanol. You see, "the man" will sell you ethanol and tell you it's something which is drinkable when in fact it is a deadly poison. Now you must never let them trick you like that again. Also, don't take MDMA because, as I mentioned, it's neurotoxic and is just plain shit. It's not really a hallucinogen, it's not really a stimulant, it's just some shit.
Click to expand...
Would you be kind enough to reflect on such matters in a subjective way? Saying MDMA is shit is pretty much the opposite of what millions of people think after their experience and even after a decade of responsible use. Or go ahead and prove it to me, that MDMA is neurotoxic in recreational (1,0-2,0mg/kg) dosages and it causes irreversible damage. Thank you.
 
OP

you should really ask the guys/gals that are over in MDMA & Empathogenic Drugs. i want to say that they might have more experience with these types of bad reactions.



Jason

i agree with you in showing caution. this is especially true with heavy drinking and polydrug use. i honestly think MDMA and amphetamines are relatively safe in moderation.

after reviewing the literature i think that their is some uncertainty on if/how MDMA is neurotoxic and at exactly what dose that happens. some papers claim MDMA is neurotoxic itself while others claim there is toxicity because of secondary excessive neurotransmisson. all of the research I have read shows toxicity increases with dose and duration. furthermore all of the papers I have read demonstrated the results at concentrations and frequencies much higher than therapeutic doses and even higher than normal recreational use. also none of these studies have proven toxicity in the living human brain. often the difference between poison and medicine is the dose. common prescription amphetamines such as Adderall demonstrate neurotoxcicity at high enough doses. in fact the most famous study of MDMA neurotoxcity was later discredited after it was discovered the researcher didn't use MDMA and actually used the FDA approved prescription medication Desoxyn.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retracted_article_on_dopaminergic_neurotoxicity_of_MDMA
 
Any one who has take drugs on a regular basis has felt what u are feeling..relax and take your mind off of it..i promise u will be better with time..anxiety is putting your body in fight or flight mode and u have to take control of your mind.reeeelax
 
And for what it's worth, LSD (if that's what you actually had) has a reputation in some circles as an 'imprinting' substance - so you may have inadvertently stamped the experience of coming down off MDMA and intoxicating* yourself with alcohol into your psyche. Hence the repetition of the anxiety. Or maybe PTSD?!

Good news is that any imprinting will be psychological and not physical/neurological/physiological damage. So what has been done can be undone. Following some of the advice above will surely help if imprinting is the case.

*Don't ya just love the word intoxication? Sounds like yer just getting a little drunk. And yet it clearly contains the word TOXIC. If I gave you a pill and said "hey man, try this - it's toxic!", I suspect you'd tell me to take a running jump.
 
Thank you guys for all your advice and opinions. It really helps me to know some people experienced this and it will eventually fade away. I still get moments of bad feelings (few times a day), but it is definetely getting better.

I hope it will fully disappear.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top