*I wrote this with a specific person in mind, but i have changed the name to keep a little anonymity (not that you would know her anyway, but just for my own amusement.)
What It's Like to be a Lisa
9.6.02
She was one of my best friends in high school,
and i wished i'd never have to see her again.
She was maybe one of the first people i met in junior high,
When i was shy and scared
And the faces in that classroom were all unfamiliar
And i felt like i didn't have a friend in the world.
She was the first person i connected with,
And admired
And i based everything in my life during those couple teenage years
Around her ideals, and her visions.
But she was no one special.
Just a girl in the classroom.
Amazing what contacts and long hair will do for a teenage girl.
I wasn't the only one that noticed it...
She was more than just pretty,
She was gorgeous.
And she had a flattery to her that radiated off of her.
Her blond hair was no indication of her brains...
She had perfect grades.
Perfect everything.
We were friends because i liked to be with her,
And i guess perhaps i offered the same in return.
But in the course of 6 years i came to hate her,
Because maybe there was such a thing as being too perfect,
and if there was, she was it.
But i couldn't be that jealous girl,
I had to be the smiley one, who everyone liked,
Who liked everyone.
And i danced in her shadow at every dance.
Walked in her shadow down every hall.
She could have any guy she wanted.
She already had the life that every girl wanted.
It was never enough for her.
Had to be head cheerleader,
Had to rank top in the class.
Had to had the best guy drive her home every day,
Since the brand-new car daddy bought her still wasn't enough.
She had to win every award,
And everyone's approval.
Never, never enough.
She went off to college,
Graduated sooner than anyone in our whole class,
Got the job she wanted,
And still had the guy she succeeded in winning 4 years ago.
I thought i'd never had to see her again.
And it was the best feeling in the world.
But there she was,
Standing in my circle of friends once again,
And 6 years of shadows loomed once more.
Everyone captivated by her raspy laugh,
Intrigued by her beauty
Drooling over her steps
Hanging on her words.
My high school best friend,
The girl i cant stand.
Why was it so important for me to erase you from my future?
Perhaps because i crumble and cave under the pressure to be who I had dreamed of being,
Because i sacrificed, and just got by
While you were always living the high life,
Because of who your family was,
And who your friends were.
Maybe i wanted to be out of your damn shadow,
once and for all,
So i could stop starving myself to look like you,
Or stop pushing myself to succeed like you...
Or maybe it was just something less obvious:
the wanting to not have to be jealous of you,
The girl who was always my idol.
Every guy always wanted you,
And every girl always wanted to be you,
for as long as i've known you,
But in the limelight of this bar,
Where i am cast in the shadows again,
I see someone in you i never quite noticed before...
You're scared to.
You're scared that you won't be #1 forever.
You probably lost whatever highness you had in high school,
And you go to these dinky little bars,
Looking for people who have no one else to fantasize about,
Jump into their line of vision
And try to awe the hell out of them,
Just to make yourself feel better.
That guy that you just had to be with,
Can't even stand to accompany you on nights like this,
And rightfully so,
And you dance and swoon with every guy in the place,
Knowing you'll break their hearts when 2:00 comes
And never think of them again,
While they spend the next eternity hoping just to get one more night with you...
I'm not that girl.
Maybe in some ways,
I'm more than you'll ever be,
And maybe you have a few shadows of your own
to dance in.
Seeing you again,
You've recaptured a spotlight that took me a long time to find,
But for once in my life,
I've found an inner light that you can never blacken
With your blond hair and perfect smile
And while everyone in this place wishes they knew
What it's Like to be a Lisa,
I found out the hard way
That its really not so fucking fantastic.
What It's Like to be a Lisa
9.6.02
She was one of my best friends in high school,
and i wished i'd never have to see her again.
She was maybe one of the first people i met in junior high,
When i was shy and scared
And the faces in that classroom were all unfamiliar
And i felt like i didn't have a friend in the world.
She was the first person i connected with,
And admired
And i based everything in my life during those couple teenage years
Around her ideals, and her visions.
But she was no one special.
Just a girl in the classroom.
Amazing what contacts and long hair will do for a teenage girl.
I wasn't the only one that noticed it...
She was more than just pretty,
She was gorgeous.
And she had a flattery to her that radiated off of her.
Her blond hair was no indication of her brains...
She had perfect grades.
Perfect everything.
We were friends because i liked to be with her,
And i guess perhaps i offered the same in return.
But in the course of 6 years i came to hate her,
Because maybe there was such a thing as being too perfect,
and if there was, she was it.
But i couldn't be that jealous girl,
I had to be the smiley one, who everyone liked,
Who liked everyone.
And i danced in her shadow at every dance.
Walked in her shadow down every hall.
She could have any guy she wanted.
She already had the life that every girl wanted.
It was never enough for her.
Had to be head cheerleader,
Had to rank top in the class.
Had to had the best guy drive her home every day,
Since the brand-new car daddy bought her still wasn't enough.
She had to win every award,
And everyone's approval.
Never, never enough.
She went off to college,
Graduated sooner than anyone in our whole class,
Got the job she wanted,
And still had the guy she succeeded in winning 4 years ago.
I thought i'd never had to see her again.
And it was the best feeling in the world.
But there she was,
Standing in my circle of friends once again,
And 6 years of shadows loomed once more.
Everyone captivated by her raspy laugh,
Intrigued by her beauty
Drooling over her steps
Hanging on her words.
My high school best friend,
The girl i cant stand.
Why was it so important for me to erase you from my future?
Perhaps because i crumble and cave under the pressure to be who I had dreamed of being,
Because i sacrificed, and just got by
While you were always living the high life,
Because of who your family was,
And who your friends were.
Maybe i wanted to be out of your damn shadow,
once and for all,
So i could stop starving myself to look like you,
Or stop pushing myself to succeed like you...
Or maybe it was just something less obvious:
the wanting to not have to be jealous of you,
The girl who was always my idol.
Every guy always wanted you,
And every girl always wanted to be you,
for as long as i've known you,
But in the limelight of this bar,
Where i am cast in the shadows again,
I see someone in you i never quite noticed before...
You're scared to.
You're scared that you won't be #1 forever.
You probably lost whatever highness you had in high school,
And you go to these dinky little bars,
Looking for people who have no one else to fantasize about,
Jump into their line of vision
And try to awe the hell out of them,
Just to make yourself feel better.
That guy that you just had to be with,
Can't even stand to accompany you on nights like this,
And rightfully so,
And you dance and swoon with every guy in the place,
Knowing you'll break their hearts when 2:00 comes
And never think of them again,
While they spend the next eternity hoping just to get one more night with you...
I'm not that girl.
Maybe in some ways,
I'm more than you'll ever be,
And maybe you have a few shadows of your own
to dance in.
Seeing you again,
You've recaptured a spotlight that took me a long time to find,
But for once in my life,
I've found an inner light that you can never blacken
With your blond hair and perfect smile
And while everyone in this place wishes they knew
What it's Like to be a Lisa,
I found out the hard way
That its really not so fucking fantastic.
