Bleaney
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2021
- Messages
- 1,668
I just found these videos on You Tube and they inevitably got me thinking about my own shortcomings, of which there are very many. I have very many regrets and bad things I've done. However, there is one thing which has consoled me already, and that is what one of the respondees said on the first video. He said that the worst thing he'd ever done was to ride his bike without a helmet, and he was totally serious. Quite incredible how anyone could be such a goody two shoes is beyond words. I'd rather have all my shortcomings and difficulties than lead such an incredibly boring life, I have to say.
These are the 2 videos.
On the regrets part, the first thing that came to mind in a big way, has been my lack of 'relationships' of all kinds with the opposite sex. I hope I don't sound too conceited when I say this, but from my teenage years onwards many girls seemed to give me strong and clear signals that they were interested in me, in that way. So although it seems that I had been dealt a good hand in terms of being attractive to the opposite sex, I really didn't have any idea as to how I was supposed to go about playing that card, or how to capitalise on what I had going for me. I put that down to introversion, social anxiety, lack of confidence, lack of social skills, all that type of thing. I'm pretty sure that this is one major way in which my Autism fucked me over. Especially as I didn't even know I was Autistic. Having severe deficits in these areas meant that my life took a very different course to how it could have been.
On 'the worst things I have done' question there really have been so many cringey and shameful things. But I think the ones I feel worse about are to do with me not keeping in touch with my closest family who cared for me and this behaviour caused them so much hurt, worry, stress, and anxiety. I would very rarely even phone them let alone visit them. It would have been much easier to manage this responsibility now in the days of electronic communication. There was nothing like that around when I left home some 30 years ago. This also falls under the Autistic "social deficits" umbrella, in that I can explain these difficulties in terms of my Autism. It definitely did make picking up a phone and talking difficult and painful for me, especially as I was in low moods it was so hard and there was never any pivacy in student halls etc. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I was totally self-centered and inconsiderate, and I hurt the people who cared the most.
I don't want to make this post too much about my Autism as I hope the post and the thread will be much broader than that. I know that I can't keep copping out and blaming all of my shortcomings on my Autism. I am still responsible for my own actions and behaviour, Autistic or not.
I am interested to see what other EADDers may have to say on these topics, if anyone wishes to share that would be great.
Maybe I'll post a thread with a positive twist on these issues next time, with the polar opposite questions being asked. Could be interesting. But if we start with the negative first that means we can finish on a positive.
These are the 2 videos.
On the regrets part, the first thing that came to mind in a big way, has been my lack of 'relationships' of all kinds with the opposite sex. I hope I don't sound too conceited when I say this, but from my teenage years onwards many girls seemed to give me strong and clear signals that they were interested in me, in that way. So although it seems that I had been dealt a good hand in terms of being attractive to the opposite sex, I really didn't have any idea as to how I was supposed to go about playing that card, or how to capitalise on what I had going for me. I put that down to introversion, social anxiety, lack of confidence, lack of social skills, all that type of thing. I'm pretty sure that this is one major way in which my Autism fucked me over. Especially as I didn't even know I was Autistic. Having severe deficits in these areas meant that my life took a very different course to how it could have been.
On 'the worst things I have done' question there really have been so many cringey and shameful things. But I think the ones I feel worse about are to do with me not keeping in touch with my closest family who cared for me and this behaviour caused them so much hurt, worry, stress, and anxiety. I would very rarely even phone them let alone visit them. It would have been much easier to manage this responsibility now in the days of electronic communication. There was nothing like that around when I left home some 30 years ago. This also falls under the Autistic "social deficits" umbrella, in that I can explain these difficulties in terms of my Autism. It definitely did make picking up a phone and talking difficult and painful for me, especially as I was in low moods it was so hard and there was never any pivacy in student halls etc. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I was totally self-centered and inconsiderate, and I hurt the people who cared the most.
I don't want to make this post too much about my Autism as I hope the post and the thread will be much broader than that. I know that I can't keep copping out and blaming all of my shortcomings on my Autism. I am still responsible for my own actions and behaviour, Autistic or not.
I am interested to see what other EADDers may have to say on these topics, if anyone wishes to share that would be great.
Maybe I'll post a thread with a positive twist on these issues next time, with the polar opposite questions being asked. Could be interesting. But if we start with the negative first that means we can finish on a positive.
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