Please read if you can, I know it's a little long. I've tried to just include relevant information.
I'm really looking for some reassurance right now, let me start by saying I've suffered from social anxiety my entire life, on a pretty bad level.
Over the past few months I've abused alot of mephedrone, sometimes suffering from psychosis after a long run and I stopped using mephedrone about 3 weeks ago when I realised how bad I was getting.
This weekend just passed I went on a night out and bought a gram of ketamine, throughout the night i used it and then in the morning at around 7am I tried to knock myself out with a large dose, unfortunately all that happened was a very strange form of psychosis/out of body experience. I had no sleep that night and had to work 8 hours the next day. Throughout the day I was drinking lots of coffee and caffeine tablets to keep me going, at one point toward the end i took 400mg caffeine at once. When I finished work I was unable to sleep so I had a bottle of wine to try and get to sleep, I ended up being sick a few times before I finally slept for around 15 hours.
The next day I still felt really out of it, like I wasn't quite sober, I didn't really do much except relax all day and I had another 15 hours sleep that night. The next day again I didn't quite feel right and was getting a bit worried, started to do a little searching on the internet and read about 'derealization' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization) This sounded alot like what I was suffering from, although it was only minor and not all the symptoms present. I kept zoneing out on everything, didn't have any attention span, my hearing seemed to have suffered aswel as vision slightly.
Last night, when I was still feeling this way I foolishly decided to drink two bottles of wine. Now I normally suffer from bad hangovers but this morning was so very bad, I was extremely paranoid about everything, I imagined people kept calling my name out in work, and that people were staring and talking about me. Throughout the day it's got a little better, but I still feel paranoid and not at all sober. It's very hard to explain, it's similar feeling to a pill/mephedrone comedown, very depressing. Feel very on edge. Strange thought patters, loops etc. Is this permanent psychosis?
I'm very very worried I'm going to stay this way? I don't know what to do. I don't want to take anything like valium as I feel it might just make the situation worse in the long run.
I've no idea how I'm going to sleep. I feel like I'm about to freak out and loose my mind at any second now.
I'm really looking for some reassurance right now, let me start by saying I've suffered from social anxiety my entire life, on a pretty bad level.
Over the past few months I've abused alot of mephedrone, sometimes suffering from psychosis after a long run and I stopped using mephedrone about 3 weeks ago when I realised how bad I was getting.
This weekend just passed I went on a night out and bought a gram of ketamine, throughout the night i used it and then in the morning at around 7am I tried to knock myself out with a large dose, unfortunately all that happened was a very strange form of psychosis/out of body experience. I had no sleep that night and had to work 8 hours the next day. Throughout the day I was drinking lots of coffee and caffeine tablets to keep me going, at one point toward the end i took 400mg caffeine at once. When I finished work I was unable to sleep so I had a bottle of wine to try and get to sleep, I ended up being sick a few times before I finally slept for around 15 hours.
The next day I still felt really out of it, like I wasn't quite sober, I didn't really do much except relax all day and I had another 15 hours sleep that night. The next day again I didn't quite feel right and was getting a bit worried, started to do a little searching on the internet and read about 'derealization' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization) This sounded alot like what I was suffering from, although it was only minor and not all the symptoms present. I kept zoneing out on everything, didn't have any attention span, my hearing seemed to have suffered aswel as vision slightly.
Last night, when I was still feeling this way I foolishly decided to drink two bottles of wine. Now I normally suffer from bad hangovers but this morning was so very bad, I was extremely paranoid about everything, I imagined people kept calling my name out in work, and that people were staring and talking about me. Throughout the day it's got a little better, but I still feel paranoid and not at all sober. It's very hard to explain, it's similar feeling to a pill/mephedrone comedown, very depressing. Feel very on edge. Strange thought patters, loops etc. Is this permanent psychosis?
I'm very very worried I'm going to stay this way? I don't know what to do. I don't want to take anything like valium as I feel it might just make the situation worse in the long run.
I've no idea how I'm going to sleep. I feel like I'm about to freak out and loose my mind at any second now.
