What do I do with this she devil/angel?

[fadednaz]

I hope this is the right spot for this. I'm not sure if I've ever posted before but I I'm currently without any objective opinions or place to seek advice. I've been with my girlfriend/fiance for over 2 years now. We got together in my city in Arizona. The first year of our relationship was great in many ways horribly self-destructive in others. We pretty much just hung out and got high and had sex all the time. We fell in love after meeting at work and it pretty much evolved into living out of motel rooms shooting heroin smoking Fentanyl and and just having crazy good sex . definitely wasn't good for us but the same time I've never been so sexually compatible with someone and felt so emotionally safe at the same time and she felt the same way. Eventually we felt like we needed to make a change and we both wanted to stay together so we got into an outpatient treatment program I went on methadone and she went on Suboxone. Throughout a relationship she was feeling increased guilt because ex-boyfriend had custody of their daughter and moved back to the Midwest where all three of them were originally from leaving her out here with me and her daughter with him. So after being clean for a few months she expressed strong desire to move back home and into house of dad so she could be near to her daughter. But she kept putting it off because she was in love with me and didn't want to leave me so it went on like that for about another 6 months and I finally worked out a plan where we could all be together. She moved back home about 6 months ago and moved in with her dad so she could see her daughter. So she's been living there for the last 6 months and she just moved into an apartment with the help of her dad so her daughter could actually live with her part-time. Now that she has an apartment the plan was for me to come out there and live with her. To complicate things we both relapse independently about the time she got her new apartment. So my plan was to go out there and we were both going to get into Suboxone or methadone again. So that's where we were up to a couple of weeks ago. I was going to fly there but she suddenly had an idea that she wanted to come across the country and pick me up and take me home that way we could easily bring a bunch of Fentanyl and meth back with us so we could party for like a week before we got serious and in the treatment again. So she showed up in my Southern Arizona City and picked me up and that's exactly what we did. We drove all the way to Minnesota and had a blast. We got really good weed in Colorado Stayed in Colorado Springs for a couple days stay in Wyoming. Kept having to pull over for sex because we've missed each other so much. The Wyoming cop almost caught us doing multiple things at a rest stop none of which I think were legal in his state. But somehow we made it. So she was able to get on Suboxone okay but my methadone program for some reason in our part of the state was delayed by like 4 days so I was extremely sick. I wasn't able to keep down water or anything so I had to go to the hospital for fluids while waiting for Methadone Program to accept me. While I was in the hospital for some reason that I will never be able to ascertain she was worried about me and reached out to my dad. She knows that I have a horrible relationship with my dad I don't trust him and I don't even contact with him and I can't understand why she would have reached out to him. She perhaps doesn't know that there's a history of abuse and he's just a vindictive and cruel person by Nature. He kicked me out at 17 with no car and no support of any kind. And this was after years of physical abuse and really it was probably the best thing he ever did for me. I might be dead if I'd stay in the house. So when I found out still sick that she'd been talking to my dad I was Furious. She said she told him everything about us. She knows I didn't get along with him but I don't think she understood how bad our relationship was but I still feel like it was very screwed up for her to go behind my back and talk to this poisonous influence. No she has a history of possibly a little bit of manic depression she is undiagnosed I believe she can be very high strung is the best way to put it at this point. Anyway she refused to admit any wrongdoing and continue to call my dad behind my back despite my wishes and after scoring enough dope to get well enough to think straight. But all we did was continue to fight. Finally I flew back 8 hours changing planes three times Dope Sick is all hell to get back home. I was so furious at her for the first few days I didn't reach out except for the first day in which we fought over the phone pretty bad. Now I'm trying to reach out to her I miss her and all I want is to hear her say she won't contact him again and want to work things out but she has me blocked, I'm in the process of re-enrolling in my Methadone Program here in Arizona. I spent all my resources getting to Minnesota and back. She has all of my belongings and I'm basically staying with a friend who is letting me crash here very short-term. I have no money no clothes, no food I quit my job because I thought I was going to be living in Minnesota it's been a week and I'm still blocked by her. I have her dad's number and I sent him a text message asking to have her call me and she has not done so. So everything I own is in her apartment in Minnesota I'm so depressed I'm starting to only see one way out of this that makes any sense. I'm not sober I've less than $100 in my bank account. For the last 2 years my only plan has been to marry this girl and live with her. I'm so depressed and hurt I can hardly think straight. Just a week or two ago I felt like I'd won the lottery with this perfect girl and this perfect plan and now it's all gone to hell and I don't want to live anymore. I'm so fucked up right now I've been in and out of Consciousness for the last day. My dad of all people has reached out to me and said that my girlfriend Can't Stop calling him and telling him about the whiny pussy I am he says that he's going to meet up with my girl but I know he's just fucking with me this is more of his psychological bullshit I'm pretty sure. and various crude things like that I don't know how he got my number. I blocked him I'm not really worried about him except that I now know that they're probably still talking for some fucking reason I can't figure out. Does anybody have any advice on what I should do?

 

[CyAhnora]

Dude… first off you NEED to relax. Take some concentrated effort to breathe. I’m going to help you but you may not see it that way. My foremost concern is the anger you displayed when things turned against you. That is a direct biproduct of the abuse you suffered when you take out your anger on someone who you love you are letting your father’s influence control your actions.
My second concern, and I’m flat out worried, is that you are blaming her and using her mental illness to justify your behavior. STOP THAT SHIT.

Ok so to fix the problem you may need to swallow a lot of pride and aggression. I get it. Being alone, lost, and without any means of support for yourself is terrifying, but let me assure you that you can overcome this.

I recommend that you take a day off and concentrate on yourself. After you have spent some time reflecting use someone else’s phone to contact this woman. Now let me emphasize that you owe her a major apology… listen don’t fight me on this cause deep down you know I’m right.( why else would you have wrote this novel on this forum seeking help)
Listen to this perspective this woman who loves you dearly and is willing to put off her health, sobriety, and her time with her child for more time with you got scared when you were hospitalizing. She was fucking terrified dude like sitting in a Saw movie and realizing you were next to play the game… She was so scared and concerned for you knowing she was powerless to help did what any mother would’ve done. She reached out to your safety net. Now stay with me I firsthand understand what it means to be abused by my parents and I too would consider their knowledge and “help” counterproductive and opposite of what I want. But please consider she doesn’t have that perspective in fact she has a loving nurturing supportive father and from her background was hoping that your father’s Love might come out in the circumstances that you were in. She was wrong but you can’t hold that against her cause all she wanted was to help you. Which in her mind solidified that she is right. And on of the worst things we as men can do for our relationship is get mad at a woman who is convinced that she is right. So let me give you some fatherly advice you never got. IF YOU LOVE A WOMAN THAN NO MATTER WHAT YOU WILL HAVE HER BACK IN ALL THINGS YOU WILL SHOW HER SUPPORT EVERYWHERE AND YOU WILL ACCEPT THE FACT THAT SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. Even if you know better.

Don’t let your father’s abuse carry over into your life. You will regret forever!

 

[xtcgrrrl]

It does sound like she was well-intentioned. Wrong, but well-intentioned. And abusers can be highly charismatic to outsiders - possibly your dad turned on the charm with her so she’s left with the impression that he’s “not that bad.” Do you have any screenshots of some of the creepy, threatening things he has said? If not, could you maybe obtain some, by unblocking him and telling him you will only communicate via text? Then send her those, using a friend’s phone like the above post says. AFTER the apology and assuming she’s willing to re-establish communication

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

More red flags than a Chinese communist party rally here.

Neither of you are in a position to build a healthy relationship here, you have dodged a bullet even though I’m sure it won’t feel like that. Take some time (by which I mean like six months once you have got clean minimum) to focus on yourself and get your own shit straight and then maybe if she happens to have done the same there might be a chance of a relationship in there.

Seriously though everything about what you have posted screams stay away from this woman (not shitting on her even if it does sound like it).