I only ask this question because I have tried about 20 different "mdma/ecstasy" caps/powder/crystals/pills and only once actually had a substance I enjoyed but I sometimes wonder if that substance was actually mdma or if it was meth or some combination.
See, I've gone to all sorts of raves and electronic music festivals in my area and I have done the ecstasy/molly that my friends or other people going to these events are doing and none of it lives up to this one type of molly I was sold. It has been 2 years since I've done it and I still remember it clearly, nothing has lived up to it since. Even the people who I gave that molly to have said the same thing. This kind of strikes me as "addictive" behaviour or perhaps real mdma leaves that strong of a mark on someone.
The good mdma that I did I had done about 4 times over the course of 6 months and each time it felt the same, so it wasn't a "first time" kind of experience. In fact the best time was my third time at an outdoor music festival. The effects were pretty straightforward.
- Music felt amazing. Every buildup in the music would build me up to, and as soon as the buildup would end in a drop I would go crazy.
- Lots of energy like I felt I could dance all night and the harder I danced the more energy it felt like I got
- Lights looked amazing, everything felt amazing to touch.
- Love... LOTS AND LOTS of love. I remember one time I was dancing so hard and the music dropped and I just started pointing to people telling them how much I love them. It's like an uncontrollable love you just have to express it.
- The feeling of completely and total openness, like you were okay with everything and would be okay with anything. All of the societal barriers were just completely demolished. You had no ounce of judgement in you. People were people and everything was just living. I fucking touched my wall and appreciated the fact it was a fucking wall. Looking back on that moment all I can think of is.. wow I was fucked out of my mind.
- Bursts of energy. This is a big thing, nothing else I have done since has given me energy. Where as this stuff I did gave me plenty of energy. I could dance the entire night and actually wanted to dance the entire night.
Now here is why I wonder if what I did was actually mdma or meth or a combination of mdma and adderal or something. The intense energy. Does mdma give you intense energy? It was a warming feeling, like as if there was a burning fire in me just wanting to explode. When it did explode it was just pure bliss and happiness like nothing I've ever experienced. I was also easily distracted. While I loved dancing and could dance the night away if I started talking to someone I would have talked the night away. This strikes me as more of a speed type effect than mdma. I also was moving like crazy, very fast bouncing my hands up and down but if I did manage to slow myself down I could just sit and relax and feel great. I didn't have to be moving but when I did I was moving fast.
Oh, yeah... I pretty much had the memory of a goldfish too. I remember asking people what their name was like 5 times before they started getting pretty annoyed at me.
But the biggest thing I wonder about is the after effects.
- Absolutely 0 crash. I woke up the next morning feeling great. I might have had 5 hours of sleep but I felt refreshed like I was ready to take on the day and that I was going to be a better person. I was going to try harder at everything and just be better.
- Looking back I realize that I was still probably fucked out of my mind for maybe 1 week after. Not to mention the only thing on my mind was doing it again in another week. Like highly addictive behaviour. I didn't want to do it again the next day but I was already planning to buy glowsticks, the tickets for the next event and more drugs. The mere fact I still think about it leads me to believe whatever I did was really powerful. All I would do is talk about the substance too, how it made me feel and how great it was.
Now what is also leaving me with lots of doubt is I go out to raves with my friends who're a lot more into the scene than I am and they give me their mdma and it makes me feel good but its missing a lot of what made the other substance great. It's missing the love, the warmth, the urge to dance nonstop, the touchy feely, the waves after waves of absolute ecstasy. Instead their "mdma" just makes me feel happy and wanting to dance around a bit, it's nothing spectacular at all. But he's a DJ and he's friends with DJs around the city and they insist that their stuff is mdma. Furthermore, their "mdma" feels a lot more like the other "mdma/ecstasy" I have done before but not like that substance I described earlier.
I have my doubts. Is what I did mdma, is mdma so powerful I am still thinking about it 2 years later or was what I did meth or something else? Every time I try a new "mdma" substance it always seems to be lacking compared to the other substance. I want to feel in love with the world and I want to feel waves of pure ecstasy wash over me as I dance the night away. Is that one substance I used to have real mdma and everything else I've done absolute garbage?
I've just done so much garbage and it seems like everyone only has garbage, even the hardcore candy kids for life are doing this garbage so is it really garbage or is that other substance not mdma?
Sure a testing kit would help, but what are your opinions if anyone has bothered reading this?
See, I've gone to all sorts of raves and electronic music festivals in my area and I have done the ecstasy/molly that my friends or other people going to these events are doing and none of it lives up to this one type of molly I was sold. It has been 2 years since I've done it and I still remember it clearly, nothing has lived up to it since. Even the people who I gave that molly to have said the same thing. This kind of strikes me as "addictive" behaviour or perhaps real mdma leaves that strong of a mark on someone.
The good mdma that I did I had done about 4 times over the course of 6 months and each time it felt the same, so it wasn't a "first time" kind of experience. In fact the best time was my third time at an outdoor music festival. The effects were pretty straightforward.
- Music felt amazing. Every buildup in the music would build me up to, and as soon as the buildup would end in a drop I would go crazy.
- Lots of energy like I felt I could dance all night and the harder I danced the more energy it felt like I got
- Lights looked amazing, everything felt amazing to touch.
- Love... LOTS AND LOTS of love. I remember one time I was dancing so hard and the music dropped and I just started pointing to people telling them how much I love them. It's like an uncontrollable love you just have to express it.
- The feeling of completely and total openness, like you were okay with everything and would be okay with anything. All of the societal barriers were just completely demolished. You had no ounce of judgement in you. People were people and everything was just living. I fucking touched my wall and appreciated the fact it was a fucking wall. Looking back on that moment all I can think of is.. wow I was fucked out of my mind.
- Bursts of energy. This is a big thing, nothing else I have done since has given me energy. Where as this stuff I did gave me plenty of energy. I could dance the entire night and actually wanted to dance the entire night.
Now here is why I wonder if what I did was actually mdma or meth or a combination of mdma and adderal or something. The intense energy. Does mdma give you intense energy? It was a warming feeling, like as if there was a burning fire in me just wanting to explode. When it did explode it was just pure bliss and happiness like nothing I've ever experienced. I was also easily distracted. While I loved dancing and could dance the night away if I started talking to someone I would have talked the night away. This strikes me as more of a speed type effect than mdma. I also was moving like crazy, very fast bouncing my hands up and down but if I did manage to slow myself down I could just sit and relax and feel great. I didn't have to be moving but when I did I was moving fast.
Oh, yeah... I pretty much had the memory of a goldfish too. I remember asking people what their name was like 5 times before they started getting pretty annoyed at me.
But the biggest thing I wonder about is the after effects.
- Absolutely 0 crash. I woke up the next morning feeling great. I might have had 5 hours of sleep but I felt refreshed like I was ready to take on the day and that I was going to be a better person. I was going to try harder at everything and just be better.
- Looking back I realize that I was still probably fucked out of my mind for maybe 1 week after. Not to mention the only thing on my mind was doing it again in another week. Like highly addictive behaviour. I didn't want to do it again the next day but I was already planning to buy glowsticks, the tickets for the next event and more drugs. The mere fact I still think about it leads me to believe whatever I did was really powerful. All I would do is talk about the substance too, how it made me feel and how great it was.
Now what is also leaving me with lots of doubt is I go out to raves with my friends who're a lot more into the scene than I am and they give me their mdma and it makes me feel good but its missing a lot of what made the other substance great. It's missing the love, the warmth, the urge to dance nonstop, the touchy feely, the waves after waves of absolute ecstasy. Instead their "mdma" just makes me feel happy and wanting to dance around a bit, it's nothing spectacular at all. But he's a DJ and he's friends with DJs around the city and they insist that their stuff is mdma. Furthermore, their "mdma" feels a lot more like the other "mdma/ecstasy" I have done before but not like that substance I described earlier.
I have my doubts. Is what I did mdma, is mdma so powerful I am still thinking about it 2 years later or was what I did meth or something else? Every time I try a new "mdma" substance it always seems to be lacking compared to the other substance. I want to feel in love with the world and I want to feel waves of pure ecstasy wash over me as I dance the night away. Is that one substance I used to have real mdma and everything else I've done absolute garbage?
I've just done so much garbage and it seems like everyone only has garbage, even the hardcore candy kids for life are doing this garbage so is it really garbage or is that other substance not mdma?
Sure a testing kit would help, but what are your opinions if anyone has bothered reading this?
