What am i doing?

I have no idea what im doing with myself. I feel the urge to drink and get high almost everyday now, and when im walking around toen i catch myself looking for a place to set a tent up.
Its almost like im trying to set myself up for failure..
My time is almost up here at rehab, and not sure what to do afterwords. I feel limited in options, and maybe this anxiety is making me want to get closer to the streets. Maybe its all in my head, ive come a long way and hate to fuck it up because i have no back up plan(once i complete the full program).
So thats where im at today .

 

Can you talk to some people in your program about what you're feeling and maybe have a brainstorm about what your options are?

Keep ur chin up son, you're doing super well

 

getting back to school really helped me, nothing fancy just subsidized education but it gives a routine and provides some skills so that has helped create options for me. maybe you can get some state support in that sort of thing too. just keep walking til you see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's there somewhere.

 

Maybe start looking at options now - anything you feel passionate about? As thujone said, any classes of interest you could take? Any professions you're interested in that you could start as an apprentice? Voluntary work?
Try & plan your days & keep busy & keep in contact with other people in recovery and have something, anything set up before rehab ends, not a big empty space to come out to.
I'm surprised that this isn't something they give you support with planning as part of the rehab process

Good luck, keep going, you've done amazing x

 

If you go back to the street the cycle will just start over again. I think you should go back to college on a student loan. If nothing else it will buy you a little time to figure out a direction. Frankly I would be surprised if you knew exactly what you wanted to do at this point. Your brain is coming out of the fog you've kept it in for a long time. You got to be patient with yourself.

 

Thanks for the kind words, ive been feeling really down here lately,i feel like that every meeting that i go to is some kind of fucking fashion show,theres people out there dieing and a lot of people go to meetings to slap hands and buddybuddy with girls.
Like tonight, not a single person said hey to me,so that made me want to be the first one out of the meeting and say fuck you,so some meetings i go to i feel really out of place,and hate that i usually leave the meeting sicker then bedore i got there.