Well I made it almost 4 months

[bakerdaisies]

Guys I relapsed. Not too horrible I suppose but it was a 3 day meth binge. I told myself that even if I slip up that this was absolutely my last binge. It was harder this time than the last. For my last one I tried to make my perfect setup..I even just sat there looking at my rig for a minute. It was much more emotional than I had prepared myself for. Almost like losing a lover. Meth isn't even necessarily my DOC...I'm poly drug lover so I guess I just wasn't prepared for the feelings. I did my last shot at about 11am and didn't really start thinking about it til now so I'm going to count that as a victory. Wish me luck and please send me some positive vibes!!!!

 

[simco]

Hey, baker. You made the right move by posting your story. That shit just festers (at least usually it does) if we keep a lid on it. This way it'll be easier to try to learn from the experience. After any kind of relapse now, I ask myself questions like:

* How was my mood in the week or two weeks before the actual lapse? Any red flags I could look out for?
* Did any external things happen (even minor-seeming ones) to me that might have nudged me towards the lapse?
* Now that you're on the other side of the lapse, you could try sort of a post-mortem on what went down...for example, if you had wanted to, do you think there are any folks you could have called who might have been able to help you walk away? Any ways to handle it differently the next time the drugs have your number?

But the most important thing for right now is not to punish yourself, not to be cruel to yourself. These things totally happen during recovery. And the old saying is true, I think: there's no shame in a lapse; the only problem is if you don't pick yourself up and move forward. And you've totally done that!

So...best vibes, man (or madam). Keep us posted. We're all on your side.

Sim

 

[bakerdaisies]

Thanks so much. And yes, there definitely was a trigger.