Well, hello, im what you call an "etard"

[Juice.]

Your wrong buddy lets see your sources that say serotonin transporters regenerate. If they did we wouldnt have any problems taking as much mdma as we wanted.

Sert regenerates and axons can regrow abnormally, but once the transporter is dead thats pretty much it.

Gladly.

Long-Term Effects of "Ecstasy" Use on Serotonin Transporters of the Brain Investigated by PET

This is a graph of some of the results of this study:

Serotonin transporter density is lower than normal in current users, but normalized in former users. Therefore, serotonin recovery occurs.

Do meth everyday for a year and you can recover and live somewhat normally. Do ecstasy everyday for a year and you wont be able to tie your shoes or get out of bed.

That comment is absolutely outrageous. You seem to be conducting a baseless and puzzling war on MDMA, not based in evidence or facts, but in some kind of personal beef with the drug. Perhaps you're a troll or perhaps you're genuine, but mimicking debunked propaganda from the late 90's isn't going to prove your point.

Meth kills dopamine producing neurons, MDMA does not. These never regenerate. If you lose enough dopamine neurons you will get Parkinson's disease. Of course MDMA abusers will feel shitty after abusing ecstasy, the difference is that while you can heal from the damage caused by MDMA, there isn't really a whole lot you can do to heal from meth, other than stem cell therapy, which isn't plausible at the moment.

In fact, just to kill your argument completely, here is a very prestigious study done which proves you completely and utterly wrong:

The Neurotoxic Effects of 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) and Methamphetamine on Serotonin, Dopamine, and GABA-ergic Terminals

"The results showed that METH was more toxic to 5-HT terminals than MDMA in forebrain regions, including the anterior cingulate, caudate nucleus, nucleus accumbens, and septum. METH was also more toxic than MDMA to dopamine terminals in the habenula, and posterior retrosplenial cortex. Therefore, we find that METH was more toxic to 5-HT and dopamine terminals in specific brain regions in both pre and post-synaptic sites following continuous equimolar dosing."

Enough with the hearsay and word of mouth. If you are going to make outrageous and exaggerated claims, at least make them believable.

 

[frozenorange]

"You would have to be completely and utterly clueless to consume 8 pills of MDMA on a weekly basis for a year straight. You're fucked up because you abused the drug carelessly. I don't know what you were thinking but you got what you deserve."

@Juice - might be obvious to you mate, but for others it's a long way off before they realise it. People come here for advice, not criticism. What, were you never young? Or have you always had all the info? Let's be straight - until the advent of the internet information on drugs was either hard to find, restricted or just plain bullshit, leading to a wide range of regrettable decisions by people who otherwise might have made an informed choice. That you should be taking the moral high ground (with your commendably cautious approach) and have had no issues with taking MDMA doesn't qualify you to bite the heads off those who have not. Yes, it is stupid to be taking that much, as I'm sure LonE1 now realises. But let's offer some constructive advice, considering the OP is reaching out for some positive feedback. LonE1's already had the realisation that things are not right ('I feel so alone, depressed sometimes now, as I am not the same person I used to be.') so let's do the right thing and offer some support.

@LonE1 -

You know yourself best, and by the sounds of things, you're pretty messed up right now. Firstly, don't panic. You're not the first person to have fallen in love with a drug and will sure as shit not be the last. However, if you take care of yourself and make a few changes there's no reason you shouldn't be able to correct most of the damage and return to 'normal'. If you've been caning it for a over a year with regular large doses of MDMA (or indeed the sometimes dangerous mixtures which we are all aware constitute street 'ecstasy'), chances are you've provoked a chemical imbalance. As VincentOnE pointed out, there are anti depressants you could turn to, as well as healthy food, exercise and healthy living.

A further suggestion would be to cut out the weed - from personal experience, I can say that weed, despite the 'soft' drug tag usually associated with it, can be a subtle but serious mindfuck, especially in combination with the already unstable state of mind created by overdoing the pills. For me, a small amount of puff can easily set off an undesirable state of mind, so I generally try to restrict it to when I'm partying - toking on the days after a bender almost always results in unwanted introspection, persistent internal dialogue (which may be much the same thing as your 'voices in my head') and unnecessary and irrational anxiety. Others may have differing advice, but on the basis of your story, I can relate - I've been taking MDMA for over 15 years, at one point every week in fairly large doses - and thus have my personal remedies to recommend.

Take it easy. Give it a break. Find other things to do - positive and enjoyable things - which exercise both your body and mind, and take your mind off the focus of 'I'm a mess'.

Eat healthy foods - chuck the processed shit, the fast food and all that, and eat loads of salads, sprouts, vegetables, nuts - they all contain great antioxidants and essential oils which will flush your body of toxins while supplying brain food. Look into nootropics - there are a wide range of substances which help with brain function. For dopamine or serotonin imbalances, you're going to have to call in the pharmaceuticals - see a doctor if it's serious, and direct them to relevant information, if it turns our they're not as clued up on your situation as they should be.

Above all, love yourself and give back to your mind and body what you've been taking out.

All the best;

 

[L3inad]

First off, id like to say hello to everyone as this is my first post on this site. I have been using PR for years now, and id like to say im very pleased for such a caring site like this.

Anyway, ive seen alot of people talk about how they have rolled around a whopping 11 times , and how they dont see anything bad about mdma use, and this and that. Let me tell you a story about myself.

I think anyone can agree that there first time doing mdma was amazing. It was for me. I felt like it was the most incredible feeling ive ever had. Every emotional thought was brought out, every good thing was brought up in my mind...everything about everyone I was with just felt so right.

Well, with that, i joined the rave scene, and we all know where that leads you. The only thing was, I started rolling ALOT. Once a week pretty much. And not only that, sometimes I would take upwards of 8 pills a night; id roll, then pop more pills at the after party and sometimes roll harder after the party, all in good fun, and all because I didnt know any better, but all i knew is it was amazing.

Well, fast forward a year of rolling. At this point id say im maybe at around 50-60 rolls. All the sudden I noticed I was changing. I noticed I would get ansy about things, start thinking weird thoughts randomly, and would just be plain paranoid at time. I also noticed that I wasnt as sharp as I used 2 me....I used 2 be able to talk to girls like it was my skill in life, suddenly I started freezing up talking 2 girls. What the fuck?? Another thing i noticed, is when id be smoking weed, it wasnt like it used 2 be. When I used to smoke weed, I would go on my day just as sharp as I was before, thinking great thoughts and bein all "giddy" if you will. Nowadays, when i smoke weed, I sometimes get voices in my head thinking all kinds of weird shit. Its kind of hard 2 describe, but ill tell you, i absolutly hate it. So anyway I go through 2009. With this year, im happy to say i slowed down. I still rolled, but it was at the most once a month (sometimes twice), and it would be around 4 pills. I still raved, but not as much.

The worst part, is my anxiety fucking started going nuts. I dont know what it is, but im paranoid as shit now sometimes. Smoking weed amplifys it so much as well. Ive lost alot of friends because they just feel like they dont know me anymore. I feel like I dont know myself anymore. I still roll, but im way beyond losing the magic. When I roll now, I get kind of a weird stupid feeling with a strange body high (yes even on pokeballs). Its defiantly not the same feeling I fell in love with.

Alot of people seem to have this feeling that mdma is not bad for you. My oh my, can I tell you how unbelievably wrong you fucking are. I feel so alone, depressed sometimes now, as I am not the same person I used to be. I feel like a freak now sometimes (hah). The point of this is to show you that I myself, am a victom of too much mdma. I am someone who thought mdma wasnt that bad, and it proved 2 me that it was.

My only hope is for people to somehow relate, somehow give me hope; all I know is I want myself back, and these demons to leave. They really, really are a pain in the ass.

The moral is, dont dance with the devil, because it aint fun in the long run.

-payce

Ohh the things I want to say to you but cant for the fear of the banhammer.

Basically, you abused the shit out of a magical chemical. If you dont respect it wtf do you think was going to happen? Any halfwit can figure out that using ounce a week is going to screw you up.

For the love of all things nice, do not come onto a forum of this sort and try to tell us that MDMA is the devil. If you cant use responsibly, well hey thats your own fault, and your loss to. I can use responsibly and MDMA for me, will be a friend for life.

I pity you, I really do.

 

[dropsonde]

haha I'm a little skeptical about doing MDMA again at the ms of this month already having done it on nye. couldnt imagine doing it that often you would come down suuper hard

 

[!_MDMA_!]

you abused a drug. got fucked up. what did u expect? start living healthy, dont rolll for atleast a year

 

[Clean_Cut]

Another point to note is one of the reasons a meth abuser may be somewhat normal after a uyear of abusing is that most noticeable changes dont occur until 80 - 90% of the dopamine neurons have been damaged. From here on in it would get ugly pretty fast...

 

[JBrandon]

Wow, honestly what is with all the vitriol and negativity? The OP just came here to share a word of caution - he / she was just offering their opinion and their story.

Just because someone else might have had access to information about the harm that the drug can cause or otherwise thinks it doesn't "harm" anyone doesn't mean the OP warrants criticism for making a mistake.

I thought the idea was for shared communal discussion and assistance in this community. Now a first time browser (as I was once) may come across this thread and abstain or use caution because of this thread and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

I think the holier than thou attitude of some of the replies is really in bad taste.

 

[footscrazy]

^ I agree. Saying 'oh well, it's your fault, now deal with it' is ridiculous and close minded. Sure he made some silly and irresponsibly decisions, but so do all addicts, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't receive treatment, compassion or respect. Imagine turning a junkie away from treatment by saying 'oh well, you heard the horror story about drugs - sucks to be you!' To all those people who have made comments such as these - I hope you're fine with receiving no support in TDS if you decide to make a thread, or accept getting turned away from treatment - because afterall, it was your choice

And to the OP: You will be ok. I rolled twice a week every week for over 3 years, from when I was 16-19. It fucked me up severely for about 6 months. But I did recover, and I don't consider I have any continuing negative effects from my use, not any I notice anyway.

 

[Woodrowbt]

how do you know the weed isnt what is causeing the anxiety?


There are plenty of reports on weed users feeling mass anxiety out of the blue.


I myself have experienced anxiety for 1 month after smoking pot(i just tried it recently at 30 years old lol). I smoked some pot with my mother in law....tripped out with BAD anxiety and wasnt straight for 1 month......i couldnt talk straight without stutters and was hard to talk to people i didnt know.......

So why does it HAVE to be the MDMA?

Why not the weed?




Any reasoning behind a popular anxiogenic drug "NOT" being the cause of anxiety??????

Best bet would be to stop ALL drug use,not just MDMA.

 

[RGB]

I've unapproved a number of posts in this thread...please treat each other with respect. A valid argument goes a lot farther than an insult.

As for the OP: thank you for sharing your experience with us. While we pride ourselves on safety and moderation on Bluelight, it never hurts to hear another cautionary tale about what can happen if you do abuse. To the rest of you, I don't think it's necessary to challenge why he's suffering from his symptoms -- I think that's fairly obvious.

Keep it civil, guys.

 

[PurplePoppy]

I'm not saying this is you personally, but i think a lot of people blame mdma for problems they may have incurred anyway such as lonleyness and depression, those who take drugs such as mdma tend to be a little more prone to these types of things anyway and use the drug unknowingly in a self medicating way.
I've done seasons in ibiza where i've taken atleast one pill a night for like 3months straight and after this i have some days where i'm depressed but then i think, when i was like 12/13 before i ever even took drugs i had the occasional day where i was depressed too.
Maybe i'm just insanely lucky, but i feel that people use mdma as a bit of a scapegoat...but thats just me.

 

[Woodrowbt]

i have to agree. A lot of things seemed to be pushed off on MDMA. Maybe its true. BUt we will never have proof until its legal.

I still say its probably the weed

 

[John Lewis]

The only thing was, I started rolling ALOT. Once a week pretty much. And not only that, sometimes I would take upwards of 8 pills a night...

...Well, fast forward a year of rolling. At this point id say im maybe at around 50-60 rolls.

That doesn't add up at all?

 

[strawberry jam]

That doesn't add up at all?

"50-60 rolls" as in the amount of times he rolled that year, not his pill count.

 

[Woodrowbt]

So once a week. Probably tons of pipes or other adulterants and weed.

Can't really say its MDMA.

Best bet would be to hold off on all drugs.

I still say a lot of it is the weed though.

 

[F1n1shed]

So once a week. Probably tons of pipes or other adulterants and weed.

Can't really say its MDMA.

Best bet would be to hold off on all drugs.

I still say a lot of it is the weed though.

I bet it is the mdma, because like alot of etards on this site dont know. MDMA DAMAGES THE FUCK OUT OF UR BRAIN. Some of u guys are starting the piss me off

 

[JBrandon]

So once a week. Probably tons of pipes or other adulterants and weed.

I fully agree with this.

Can't really say its MDMA.

I don't agree with this. At this point in time I thought it was pretty much accepted and proven, even to the MDMA stalwarts, that there is a neurotoxicity inherent to MDMA.

While I'm sure the pipes and amph that were no doubt in many of those pills did not help, we cannot hold MDMA blameless just because we love it.

Best bet would be to hold off on all drugs.

This is no question the best advice in the entire thread. To the OP, the weed and the occasional roll need to stop period, on your own or with professional help. I bet a few years of clean and healthy living and a lot of work on your personal and professional life would go an incredibly long way.

I hope everything turns around for you, and everyone else in the same boat!

 

[footscrazy]

I'm not saying this is you personally, but i think a lot of people blame mdma for problems they may have incurred anyway such as lonleyness and depression, those who take drugs such as mdma tend to be a little more prone to these types of things anyway and use the drug unknowingly in a self medicating way.
I've done seasons in ibiza where i've taken atleast one pill a night for like 3months straight and after this i have some days where i'm depressed but then i think, when i was like 12/13 before i ever even took drugs i had the occasional day where i was depressed too.
Maybe i'm just insanely lucky, but i feel that people use mdma as a bit of a scapegoat...but thats just me.

I would say you were insanely lucky...a pill every day for 3 months is a recipe for disaster - I had a friend to do this who ended up being sectioned to a psychiatric facility and a year and a half later is still suffering from drug induced psychosis and hypomania and has to take anti psychotics daily. There was also an old thread here on Bluelight about a guy who took a pill every day for a few months and ended up severely psychologically ill as well as brain damaged and ended up passing away. I don't mean to scare you or lecture you, just hopefully warn you it's probably not something you want to risk again.

 

[Woodrowbt]

I fully agree with this.



I don't agree with this. At this point in time I thought it was pretty much accepted and proven, even to the MDMA stalwarts, that there is a neurotoxicity inherent to MDMA.

While I'm sure the pipes and amph that were no doubt in many of those pills did not help, we cannot hold MDMA blameless just because we love it.



This is no question the best advice in the entire thread. To the OP, the weed and the occasional roll need to stop period, on your own or with professional help. I bet a few years of clean and healthy living and a lot of work on your personal and professional life would go an incredibly long way.

I hope everything turns around for you, and everyone else in the same boat!

When i say "cant really say it was MDMA". I meant that you can't just blame soley MDMA with all the other stuff in the mix.

 

[LonE1]

Id like to say thank you to a number of people on here for the support....i really honestly TRULY appreciate it alot. When your in a position where you know youve basically fallen victom to drug abuse, support is one of the greatest things one can here: even if some wont admit it.

Reading through some posts, ive learned that people really, REALLY love mdma. And I dont mean as in they love doing it, they honestly protect it, thinking that Im trying to downtalk there "lover" of some sort.

Listen, some of the best times ive ever had were rolling. They are expieriences that I will look back on forever and even today bring me nothing but great memories, mdma will always be my favorite drug. Im not knocking it at all.

But it is STILL a drug. Meaning, doing 2 much will fuck you up, and everybody is different. honestly; you act like justifying your "once a month" habits will not fuck you up in some kind of way. I know people who have taken just a pill, and didnt feel right for 2 months after...it honestly hits people in different ways. Sure its responsible, but please dont act like doing mdma is safe. Its something we choose 2 do.

Someone mentioned that "how do they know if weed wasnt the cause"

Well to answer that, Im 21 now, and i smoked weed since I was 14, and never expierienced the anxiety not once until I started rolling. I used 2 be care free while stoned...its not the same anymore. So honestly its not the weed.

Someone said pipes: See, here is where I was responsible. Even though I completely abused mdma, my friend tested all of his pills, and I used pill reports like a mad man (thanks guys); I made sure I never got piped. I was piped once in my hundreds of rolls, and I made sure it didnt happen again. It was a orange bape. And it was one. Never again.

Im not here to have a sob story: i posted because I think this site is very very insiteful and well done and I wanted to tell my story. I wanted to tell how I abused mdma, and how I am paying the consiquences for it, and to provide people with some kind of drive to not get to where I am, because i know there are many people out there who are trying to abuse like i did. There are people that are in my position, where it was one non stop party, and I got most of my pills for free; I wanted to basically be a reminder to people that abusing mdma is abusing drugs, and it might haunt you in ways you didnt expect.

Much love to everyone and thanks for your support. I will def take your advice.