Detox Well a long and brutal recap.. Detoxing again

[JerryBlast]

Well, I am back again BlueLight. This time I need to beat it for good. Unfortunately, I relapsed around 8 months ago on heroin. I got over-whelmed working two jobs and I ended up leaving both of them and relapsing after 3 months of double shifts...

If you go back to my recent posts you will see that I was recovering and had gotten hired a week into my detox. I was very lucky to be able to pull myself out of the pit but for some reason, I decided to throw it all away and jump back in... I should have been smart enough to pull back before I got over-stressed from working two jobs. Ultimately, I made the choice to go back and as I was on the way to pick up and relapse I told myself it wasn't the reality I really wanted. I convinced myself that I wouldn't use repeatedly and now here I am 8 months later.. $16,000 later... My wife moved out and is staying with her mother and this is my last chance to go clean or she will leave for good. I will make this commitment to be clean because I can't lose the love of my life to a drug that destroys everything around me.

I beat this once before, I can do it again. This is day 1. Here we go guys I need all the support I can get. I have been doing a gram+ a day for 6 months straight on my worst days I have gotten well with a half gram. I was a smoker and I have never been a needle user. I do want to quit but I have only ever made it 3 days before giving in and I have been trying to quit now for about a month.. Now that it is serious enough that my wife is gone and I could be facing living on the streets I need to make the choice to quit. My family wants me to go into treatment. I want to try detoxing on suboxone at the house. They think I am just going to take off and I should go to a 1-week detox facility.. I don't know about the whole idea of going to a treatment program just yet but we will see..

I will update you guys about my progress and update the forum when I start having difficult times and need to vent.

 

[JerryBlast]

Update: I came out to my family they talked to me and reached out to me. They asked me to give up my car keys and I agreed. My wife left so her portion of rent doesn't come in anymore which really hurts the household a lot.. I am not working currently but this is a big motivation to start I guess now that she left.. I gave up the car keys and I am detoxing in my house with the support of my family checking in and visiting. I have people here to help keep me from contacting outside sources.. I do really want to do this. They want me to go into a west-care treatment program but my wife says she will come see me in a couple days.. Ironically it is my birthday here on the 25th. I turn 24. I hope I get to see her on my birthday at least and I owe it to her to get help and myself not to lose the love of my life.

So I am currently on lockdown 8(

 

[Larimar]

Is your family offering to pay for the detox? I would go , they will make you more comfortable and monitor you and give you skills to fight cravings . You are still young so you can do this and fix your life before you totally ruin it ! Good luck !

 

[VastEmpty]

Jerry -

it sounds like this is it, you have a lot of motivation and support to quit, that’s awesome - now it’s on to getting it done! I don’t know your history, and haven’t read a previous thread if there was one. However, it sounds like, from your family’s concerns, that you may need to try something different this time. If they asked for your keys and said they are afraid you will take off, I’m wondering if they may have some experience with this? All I know is, there is some truth to the saying that you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result...maybe detox can be the thing you do different this time? Just a thought.

All the best. My thoughts are with you.

- VE