Something really weird is going on with me. I haven't felt right in months. The constant fatigue, almost always feeling hot even in a mildly chilly room, plus this dreaded apathy that comes and goes, kinda like coming down off of speed feeling. I felt a heavy weight in my chest during work tonight, plus muscular chest pain, upset over yesterday, feeling confused, feeling sad. I just wanted to stop thinking about it, but I kept feeling way off yesterday. Finally, the apathy lifted, the feeling as if I might get a seizure any second went away and gave way to plain sadness and exhaustion, although I was wide awake. Sadness, confusion, and turmoil I can do, but not apathy. I'm beyond caring anymore, I'm tired, but am gonna stay awake and watch a dvd before crashing. Shrug. Dunno what this is all about, flooded with a bizaar array of emotions and physically all sorts of shit too. Finally, some serenity settled within me and although the physical and mental weirdness is going on right now, it isn't dominant at the moment. A flash of insight hit me this evening that other people's weirdness was one of many reasons that for the most part I preferred my own company to that of most others. Anyway, peace out.
Did you quit recently? Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome can really mess you up, but it does eventually fade. If not, well... life can be a bit weird sometimes. You've just got to roll with it, try to not let the oddities of emotionality mess with your mind. Speaking as someone who has seen both sides of it, being over-emotional is better than the alternative.
Hope things settle down for you a bit soon.
Hope things settle down for you a bit soon.
