i miss you so much. i don't know anyone who knows you, but your death has really sent me on an emotional tailspin that I don't know if anyone else is going through. this is still a subject that i have to fight back tears over. i'm in bereavement therapy, i probably told you.
honestly, i kinda put you on a pedestal. then, all we talked about was drugs & that bothered me a bit. i wanted so much more from us. but, i guess people talk about stuff they know and we knew that between us. it was almost as if those were your glory days, not your hs-usa years. but maybe since we didn't have that in common, drugs are what we talked about. i do know that if we ended up together, we would've found much more to talk about. you were smart and you know i am. i forgot to say or maybe i said yesterday, i began the process of working for the humane society. my dad and i had it out last night as usual, but he seemed quite happy about me choosing to do something positive.
i could swear that i feel someone else in my room at times. i don't always feel it, well, i never feel it as it happens, i don't think. it's just that i'll feel that someone else was just sitting here with me. if i'm to believe in such stuff, then i believe that you have stopped by from time to time. no telling how i'd act if i met you first, before you died. I'd probably be in a ward or jail or dead. your loss has been the biggest thing ever in my life.
honestly, i kinda put you on a pedestal. then, all we talked about was drugs & that bothered me a bit. i wanted so much more from us. but, i guess people talk about stuff they know and we knew that between us. it was almost as if those were your glory days, not your hs-usa years. but maybe since we didn't have that in common, drugs are what we talked about. i do know that if we ended up together, we would've found much more to talk about. you were smart and you know i am. i forgot to say or maybe i said yesterday, i began the process of working for the humane society. my dad and i had it out last night as usual, but he seemed quite happy about me choosing to do something positive.
i could swear that i feel someone else in my room at times. i don't always feel it, well, i never feel it as it happens, i don't think. it's just that i'll feel that someone else was just sitting here with me. if i'm to believe in such stuff, then i believe that you have stopped by from time to time. no telling how i'd act if i met you first, before you died. I'd probably be in a ward or jail or dead. your loss has been the biggest thing ever in my life.