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AADD Moderators: andyturbo
we need an "honesty day"
- Thread starter muzby
- Start date
Customer: Sorry for being a nuisance
Me/Server: Not a problem, go ahead, i love the fact that you can fuss over something completely pathetic, whinge over the last 5 cents that i forgot to give you, specifically want the cake from the shelf that is at the very front, not the one at the back easiest for me to reach, your food wasnt quite warm warm enough and although i was happy to get that warmed for YOU .. you will not wait the required 30secs to have it warmed without giving me the "Where the fuck is my food" look!!!
Friend: Hey do you mind if i have a line and pay you back tomorow ...
Me: Of course i f'n mind thats my friggen shit, you want some you shoulda thought of that before and got your own! Just coz your my friend does mean you can pretend like you really are going to pay me back!
Me/Server: Not a problem, go ahead, i love the fact that you can fuss over something completely pathetic, whinge over the last 5 cents that i forgot to give you, specifically want the cake from the shelf that is at the very front, not the one at the back easiest for me to reach, your food wasnt quite warm warm enough and although i was happy to get that warmed for YOU .. you will not wait the required 30secs to have it warmed without giving me the "Where the fuck is my food" look!!!
Friend: Hey do you mind if i have a line and pay you back tomorow ...
Me: Of course i f'n mind thats my friggen shit, you want some you shoulda thought of that before and got your own! Just coz your my friend does mean you can pretend like you really are going to pay me back!
Yesterday when I didn't go to work, mum called in sick for me and said I fainted in the shower due to period pain and hit my head on the soap dispenser.
BUT ....
If it were honesty day, I would have called and said "Hi, I'm not coming to work today because I didn't get home from the club until 12.30am and its pouring rain and I couldn't be bothered getting up and lugging myself to work on such a shitty day. Thanks bye"
BUT ....
If it were honesty day, I would have called and said "Hi, I'm not coming to work today because I didn't get home from the club until 12.30am and its pouring rain and I couldn't be bothered getting up and lugging myself to work on such a shitty day. Thanks bye"
BREAKaBEAT
Ex-Bluelighter
Fuck Yes
I feel so angry I could kill people with my words at the moment.
I feel so angry I could kill people with my words at the moment.
katmeow
Bluelight Crew
BREAKaBEAT said:
Goddammit that sounds scary
Honesty day... yeah I would've just told the customer who started the call with "I WANT you to help me set up my email account", that I could only do it if he said please.
Snappy Answer #1
A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger ?"
He replied, "No , they're dead."
Snappy Answer #3
The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said.
The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.
Snappy Answer #4
A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "low
bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck ?"
The lorry driver says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."
Snappy Answer #5
THE TEACHER
A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever !"
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion ?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter.
When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger ?"
He replied, "No , they're dead."
Snappy Answer #3
The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said.
The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.
Snappy Answer #4
A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "low
bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck ?"
The lorry driver says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."
Snappy Answer #5
THE TEACHER
A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever !"
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion ?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter.
When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Chaos Butterfly
Bluelight Crew
that is pure gold!! i love it :D
CB
