Please help me work out this memory from 30 years ago. 90s UK. It was honestly the most profoundly intense and incredible experience I've ever known. I need to get this straight in my head.
I think it was heroin. I wrote it off as some crazy joint for a lot of years but surely it couldn't have been cannabis. A dealer invited me and a friend for a smoke. I was 17 and really naive. We were just there to buy speed.
I think he said something to my friend like "I've got some..??" but I missed what he said. And "you're okay with that, yeah?" Not sure though. My friend nodded so I assumed it was just what sort of hash he had. (the friend would have been blagging it and wouldn't have had a clue!)
No weird taste or smell. Must have looked and seemed like a joint because no alarm bells rang.
I remember it hitting me hard but wanting more and trying to keep it together enough physically to have more. Really struggled to keep it together enough.
Then, bam.
I remember waking up because the guy's girlfriend was going mental. She wanted us out but it's like it just didn't really apply. Too far removed, like layers between me and it mattering. I was just in this beautiful nothingness. Like a mirror still pool in my head. God it was so good.
I have this surreal memory of seeing her kinda hitting him, laying into him in anger because he was wasted, and saying "just get them out" and him saying he "didn't know it'd do this to them". It was all at this weird angle and I realised I'd been leaning for ages. Head lolling, just the whole world at this weird tilt but feeling like that was just how things were now and that was fine.
I knew I should move but that needed thought, and I'd be about to think that thought but it kept slipping away and I'd just zone out again.
When I came back I'd have no idea if I'd blinked or if hours had passed. I think a long time though because the girlfriend would escalate a bit more each time.
I'd come "back" when she pressed at my senses too much, and zone back out when she stopped. But moving was just an impossible idea and didn't even apply.
It's like I was looking out from very deep in my head. Sorry, probably sound a bit mad.
I vaguely remember the dealer waving his hand in front of my face and saying "oh fuck" but more like annoyance than concern I think?? Hard to know, it's just a snippet.
Eventually (hours??? Not sure) they somehow slung us out with some "encouragement" to keep moving. I think I was sick a couple of times after that? Can't remember for sure. Zoned back out for more time after.
I think it was heroin. I wrote it off as some crazy joint for a lot of years but surely it couldn't have been cannabis. A dealer invited me and a friend for a smoke. I was 17 and really naive. We were just there to buy speed.
I think he said something to my friend like "I've got some..??" but I missed what he said. And "you're okay with that, yeah?" Not sure though. My friend nodded so I assumed it was just what sort of hash he had. (the friend would have been blagging it and wouldn't have had a clue!)
No weird taste or smell. Must have looked and seemed like a joint because no alarm bells rang.
I remember it hitting me hard but wanting more and trying to keep it together enough physically to have more. Really struggled to keep it together enough.
Then, bam.
I remember waking up because the guy's girlfriend was going mental. She wanted us out but it's like it just didn't really apply. Too far removed, like layers between me and it mattering. I was just in this beautiful nothingness. Like a mirror still pool in my head. God it was so good.
I have this surreal memory of seeing her kinda hitting him, laying into him in anger because he was wasted, and saying "just get them out" and him saying he "didn't know it'd do this to them". It was all at this weird angle and I realised I'd been leaning for ages. Head lolling, just the whole world at this weird tilt but feeling like that was just how things were now and that was fine.
I knew I should move but that needed thought, and I'd be about to think that thought but it kept slipping away and I'd just zone out again.
When I came back I'd have no idea if I'd blinked or if hours had passed. I think a long time though because the girlfriend would escalate a bit more each time.
I'd come "back" when she pressed at my senses too much, and zone back out when she stopped. But moving was just an impossible idea and didn't even apply.
It's like I was looking out from very deep in my head. Sorry, probably sound a bit mad.
I vaguely remember the dealer waving his hand in front of my face and saying "oh fuck" but more like annoyance than concern I think?? Hard to know, it's just a snippet.
Eventually (hours??? Not sure) they somehow slung us out with some "encouragement" to keep moving. I think I was sick a couple of times after that? Can't remember for sure. Zoned back out for more time after.
