Today,
I'm not a junkie...and I hate it. Just shows the hold a drug has on me, it feels like that's the only shit I know anymore. I was dope sick this morning...bad...it had only been a little over 24 hours too. I knew I couldn't cop till 8:00pm because I didn't have the gas to pick up my connection. Just enough to make it downtown to cop my dope with them and that was over ten hours away. I didn't feel like I could make it that long. I ended up caving in and taking some of my suboxone. I did a shot from dirty cottons and residue on my spoon this morning but it wasn't enough to even get me out of bed...yet alone get me well so I felt like I had no choice unless I spent the whole day laying around which would make my family suspicious.
You'd think even with the right medication I'd be able to beat this, but it's like I can't. Fucking heroin...I never thought being an addict would feel like this. Anyway who cares? Poor me, poor me, poor me another drink, addicts have too much self-pity right? Well we'll see if I need to take more suboxone tonight to keep the dope sickness at bay.
Now the only thing left on my mind is how long before I can slam my next dose of heroin?
I'm not a junkie...and I hate it. Just shows the hold a drug has on me, it feels like that's the only shit I know anymore. I was dope sick this morning...bad...it had only been a little over 24 hours too. I knew I couldn't cop till 8:00pm because I didn't have the gas to pick up my connection. Just enough to make it downtown to cop my dope with them and that was over ten hours away. I didn't feel like I could make it that long. I ended up caving in and taking some of my suboxone. I did a shot from dirty cottons and residue on my spoon this morning but it wasn't enough to even get me out of bed...yet alone get me well so I felt like I had no choice unless I spent the whole day laying around which would make my family suspicious.
You'd think even with the right medication I'd be able to beat this, but it's like I can't. Fucking heroin...I never thought being an addict would feel like this. Anyway who cares? Poor me, poor me, poor me another drink, addicts have too much self-pity right? Well we'll see if I need to take more suboxone tonight to keep the dope sickness at bay.
Now the only thing left on my mind is how long before I can slam my next dose of heroin?