Sitting, straying, praying
for something..
I know I should be thankful, and this I am--- but am not being.
Old patterns die hard, truly. But where did it start and where am i going?
-------
My hand grabs the pavement, a raw grip tearing at cement.
A hole, in there, in this child somewhere. Behind a sort of barrier only kind minds admire.
C'mon, put a little sugar in this cup-- pleading with me, myself and everyone.
give us some love, and i will stir the dust.
--------
I never was one to hold onto friendships.. or is it the glue never sticks to me or any i want to be?
In ways i give up, surrender to hermits delight of seclusion and unrequite. Resenting myself after even saying.
Assuming i suck always, and none give a fuck enough. Thats fine cuz neither do i. Probably why I am where I am-- lost in some retarded made up land.
------
I want to save everyone, because maybe within this someone will save me.. or I will figure out how to save myself. I say this loosely, in the broadest terminology.
Or is it when another's broken-- I let my own guard down, enough to put a drop of heart in their tin mug? Most likely.
I am kind out of being generous with my happiness. Though I have to be honest with myself, unconsciously I do expect this in return--- /me mutters the golden rule.
But looking back, there is a balance to it all. I've gotten this far on my own dumb luck and the brief entrance of charity from others. Be unknown to me is why I fail to feel appeased? At peace?
Is it idealic remnants that once stood like the Parthenon, archaic strands of a golden age passed?
----
If only my walls could talk. Or if only I could listen.
for something..
I know I should be thankful, and this I am--- but am not being.
Old patterns die hard, truly. But where did it start and where am i going?
-------
My hand grabs the pavement, a raw grip tearing at cement.
A hole, in there, in this child somewhere. Behind a sort of barrier only kind minds admire.
C'mon, put a little sugar in this cup-- pleading with me, myself and everyone.
give us some love, and i will stir the dust.
--------
I never was one to hold onto friendships.. or is it the glue never sticks to me or any i want to be?
In ways i give up, surrender to hermits delight of seclusion and unrequite. Resenting myself after even saying.
Assuming i suck always, and none give a fuck enough. Thats fine cuz neither do i. Probably why I am where I am-- lost in some retarded made up land.
------
I want to save everyone, because maybe within this someone will save me.. or I will figure out how to save myself. I say this loosely, in the broadest terminology.
Or is it when another's broken-- I let my own guard down, enough to put a drop of heart in their tin mug? Most likely.
I am kind out of being generous with my happiness. Though I have to be honest with myself, unconsciously I do expect this in return--- /me mutters the golden rule.
But looking back, there is a balance to it all. I've gotten this far on my own dumb luck and the brief entrance of charity from others. Be unknown to me is why I fail to feel appeased? At peace?
Is it idealic remnants that once stood like the Parthenon, archaic strands of a golden age passed?
----
If only my walls could talk. Or if only I could listen.