wake the fuck up

[jones-in_J]

So yesterday was fucked up. I think my car that i still have five years of payments on is totalled, of course when i was trying to get money to get well on heroin with. I lied and told my mom that i was going to get a suboxone from a friend cuz i was actually going to sell yhe xbox 360 in my room whixh is actuallyvmy little brothers second xbox she may have kicked me out.... so i was gonna have her pick me up but instead haf my friend come and hold the xbox until she left so i could get it back in the house because i think its bettwr she doesnt know... anyway im reallya trying to kick heroin now and took my one and only 8mggot substrip which will keep me well until tomorrow at which time i have an apt with a suboxone doctor.... ts a good thing i dont have a handgun like ive somewhat been wanting cuz i woulda shot myself when i got up so sick this morning but at least the sub strip took those feelings away... im sick of living the life of a junkie though and want to get the doctor to quickly taper me off the sub but was wondering what incriments do they make the strips in? Cuz its hard enough to cut them down to even 1mg not to mention. 5 or. 25 incriments... i want to be honest with the doctor in part but anothet part of me thinks i should get at least some extra ones since im paying the same tobsee them and for copay of prescription regardless... i just want to be clean and be abke to save up moneu and have a car and. Get a girlfriend again but i know these things are gonna take time and im impatient

Life has sucked the last couple days and i just want the nightnare to be over.... man i never thought things would get this bad when i statted "dabbling" with opiates again...

 

[sickofthisshiz]

If only we could dabble.... been down that road a hundred times. Then I'm back up to two g's a day, which is a lot for a 120 lb chick. It can be done...the stories here give me inspiration when I'm struggling. It's kind of crazy that a group of total strangers understand what I'm going through more than anyone in my life possibly could. The subs will help so much. Just remind yourself how much it actually sucks to be a junky...because it does.

 

[RedLeader]

Some people will dissolve the pills/strips in water ("titration") and go from there. 8mg Suboxone in 10ml water = .8mg per 1ml, .4mg per .5ml, and so on.

Honestly, an effective "rapid suboxone taper" is more about timing than amount. Doses <2mg are important if you've been on Suboxone forever, but not really if you're doing a rapid taper. You can go down to 2mg and then start spacing those out more during the last few days of the rapid taper. If executed well, you can rapid taper off a habit with 16mg Suboxone and feel minimal discomfort. Good luck finding a doctor who understand the "less is more" approach, though. They all want people on high maintenance doses, which is okay, but it's just prolonging opiate addiction and putting restraints on your life.

Getting off heroin requires will-power and the acceptance that your life is going to feel lame/lousy/boring for a few weeks or months afterward. But it will get better. The fog goes away, emotions come back, and you feel "alive" again. Try and put faith in the idea of time.