Recently, I have heard from numerous people I have known. Or if you prefer, people I know but have not been in touch with for a long while.
Mostly it has been former students. But there have been former colleagues, and long lost friends as well.
Why is this happening? I thought as I wandered on into the far end of middle age, my worthiness would begin to wane. What is happening out there to cause young people to actively look for me? I only have 20 friends on FB and those are family, and the friends of my age. I keep it like that on purpose. I'm not trying to talk to anybody. I don't answer my phone, even for family.
Socializing is a nuisance. I don't speak at Al Anon meetings. I'm not trying to make friends.
I got an email today from a kid. I didn't answer. But I started to wonder why I'm being contacted at all. I just never know what to say. That's the fucking truth. I'm awkward.
Just a few moments ago, I got a text from a friend I never see. She said our mutual friend "sherm" had passed away.
Sherm was standing next to me at our friend Laura's memorial last year. The newspaper article about her death ran a picture of us side by side with other friends and loved ones, all holding a candle around the scene of the crime.
Now he's gone too. They were both younger than me by several years. We all had a lot of fun together. He messaged me on FB a month ago. I just said "hey".
I fucked myself good, didn't I?
And guess who I want to hear from this evening.
Message me NOW for fucksake. WTF is going on... shit.just.got.weird.
Mostly it has been former students. But there have been former colleagues, and long lost friends as well.
Why is this happening? I thought as I wandered on into the far end of middle age, my worthiness would begin to wane. What is happening out there to cause young people to actively look for me? I only have 20 friends on FB and those are family, and the friends of my age. I keep it like that on purpose. I'm not trying to talk to anybody. I don't answer my phone, even for family.
Socializing is a nuisance. I don't speak at Al Anon meetings. I'm not trying to make friends.
I got an email today from a kid. I didn't answer. But I started to wonder why I'm being contacted at all. I just never know what to say. That's the fucking truth. I'm awkward.
Just a few moments ago, I got a text from a friend I never see. She said our mutual friend "sherm" had passed away.
Sherm was standing next to me at our friend Laura's memorial last year. The newspaper article about her death ran a picture of us side by side with other friends and loved ones, all holding a candle around the scene of the crime.
Now he's gone too. They were both younger than me by several years. We all had a lot of fun together. He messaged me on FB a month ago. I just said "hey".
I fucked myself good, didn't I?
And guess who I want to hear from this evening.
Message me NOW for fucksake. WTF is going on... shit.just.got.weird.