I agree, that a stroke is a concern.
But loss of vision is normally obvious, with partial blindness being common.
Perhaps a loss of blood flow to one side of the visual cortex, but not a full stroke...
I'm probably both.
Always been talented at 'BSing', or writing convincing arguments.
And I spent a solid six months immersing myself in MDMA research and basic neurology.
Lately I find research much more challenging, but this is probably due to the cognitive changes occurring within me.
Occasionally I bounce back and can't stop myself from writing.
One day I will resume my research...
LSD and shrooms are not serotonin releasers like MDMA.
They do cause some release, but they are primarily 2a receptor agonists (and 2c).
Many of the euphoric and hallucinogenic effects of these drugs, including MDMA, is linked to the 2a receptor.
Some MDMA users are seen to have lower 2a receptor density, esp in the prefrontal cortex and visual cortex.
At least a partial recovery is observed, but up to 2 years it is seen to remain below normal.
Longer studies have not been done.
MDMA users with real tolerance issues or major recovery stories often describe reduced reactions to LSD or shrooms.
Cross-tolerance does seem to exist.
But if you respond powerfully to 2a agonists and NOT MDMA...
Then this implicates your MDMA.
Notice the terminology used - classic BS artist skills...
I just read through your other thread and your doses of Molly sound reasonable.
I normally always recommend that people stay within 200mg per night, as 1-2mg/kg is considered a 'safe' dose among the liberal scientists who administer MDMA to humans. Above 5mg/kg toxicity is assumed to occur, and this correlates to about 350mg-450mg in average weight males.
This statement should be qualified - ALL MDMA use likely involves a level of 'toxicity' or 'adaptation'.
The powerful endocrine response to the drug indicates that higher cortical axons may be redistributed to the hypothalamus, which is a relay station for serotonin that sits between the brain stem and the frontal lobes. It also controls the pituitary and adrenals.
So 'rolling' and 'toxicity' are linked in the minds of many scientists, and I agree with them.
Even among moderate MDMA users with little poly-drug use, there are mild yet detectable cognitive changes compared to non MDMA users.
Ok.
Now I will point out that you may not be taking as much MDMA as you think.
Molly can be easily adulterated unlike tabs.
I do not think you have dirty molly, but weighing out 100mg does not ensure a pure dose of MDMA.
If you have reagent tested your stuff and it comes out with a solid color, then it is probably good stuff.
But 100mg of PURE MDMA is considered the threshold at which most people achieve the full effects of the drug.
It is the 'minimum' used in clinical studies.
Those given 75mg normally do not achieve the full endocrine response.
And 150mg is often considered the dose at which the full experience is going to occur in all new users.
You claimed to take 180mg and still feel unsatisfied with the result.
This is approaching the limit of 'safe' dosing, so I cannot recommend that you take more.
If you really wanted to push the limit, 250mg would be the MOST I would ever recommend for anyone.
My average night on MDMA, which was always tabs, approached 400-500 mg.
The tabs tested pure at pillreports, but I must assume that they were not all MDMA.
Most 250mg tabs contain about 100mg of MDMA, and this is still considered 'good'.
So it is important to point out that although I took tabs weighing a total of 500mg or more, I probably only consumed 200-250mg of actual MDMA.
This is pretty important to know, since my story is so severe. It doesn't really take that much neurotoxic MDMA to fuck yourself up.
And the multiple stories of people taking up to a GRAM in a night, are probably only reaching somewhere around HALF a gram of true MDMA.
It is possible that your molly is indeed weaker than the tabs you took before.
Other than TESTING YOUR SHIT, the only other way to gauge whether or not you have decent product is to evaluate other people's experience on the SAME supply.
If you have friends that roll their nuts off with the same product, and you do not...this implicates your brain.
Not the MDMA.
But I suspect that you are only getting low doses of actual MDMA.
If it is not adulterated with harmful things like meth or pipes, then taking a little higher dose might make a difference.
If it IS good MDMA then you should at least feel WIREY.
Your other thread lacks such a statement.
Most people that have
tolerance issues still feel WIRED up, clenchy, and generally shitty on MDMA.
Especially on higher doses.
Are you feeling ANY effects that can be described as amped up?
MDMA is an amphetamine.
And serotonin inhibits dopamine activity - so even without euphoria MDMA normally causes a JITTERY experience.
If you are not feeling ANY such effects on 180mg, then I must repeat the need to test your gear.
And evaluate other people's reaction to it.
You probably need better or more MDMA.
Especially since you respond strongly to 2a agonists.
I should mention that Seattle Stranger, who struggled with a long recovery process from MDMA, claimed that mushrooms 'taught me a lot about myself' and brought 'lasting emotional benefits'. But trying to roll again 'set me back'.
Perhaps the cross-tolerance is not such a problem after all.
And if 2a receptor activation is lower among MDMA users, it wouldn't surprise me if mushrooms or LSD could provide positive cognitive results.
I am hesitant to try this for myself, much less recommend it to others...
Are mushrooms and LSD safe?
I find the assertion that ANY drug is 'safe' to be laughable.
Drugs are, by their nature, harmful to the brain in SOME way.
Especially with continued use, repeated dosing, or high doses.
Even water will kill you with high intake.
"All substances are poisons: there is none which is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison and a remedy." Paracelsus (1493-1541)
This is agreed upon by the most highly qualified scientific minds.
So LSD and mushrooms, IF they are 'safe', are only 'safe' in the RIGHT dosage.
That point aside...
MDMA is a clear neurotoxin.
This is evidenced by
in vitro (under glass) examination, where MDMA causes cellular death by apoptosis.
Neurons clearly demonstrate the toxicity of MDMA in a laboratory culture.
In the living brain, there is a mountain of evidence that MDMA is selectively neurotoxic - destroying higher level cortical axons.
Most of the older brain regions and limibic system regain serotonin innervation, even after toxic dosing.
But the cortex and prefrontal cortex do not, and the endocrine system shows evidence of substandard serotonin function even after years of abstinence.
The serotonin system, or the brain-gut network, is known to be fragile....vulnerable.
It is a dense and intricate network that does not directly control ANY of the numerous functions it influences.
Rather it modulates other neurotransmitter systems, especially dopamine, and neuronal activity....playing a VAST and complex role in brain function.
The dopamine system is rather resilient, which is one of the reasons that meth, cocaine, and stim users in general are prone to addiction and can withstand YEARS of abuse. Provided they do not exceed the 'poisonous' dose...
The brain is now thought of as a series of circuits, and the interaction between serotonin and these many circuits escapes our understanding.
To claim that ANY drug is 'safe' just because it is not clearly 'neurotoxic' implies that cellular death is the ONLY concern.
It also implies that our understanding of the brain is somehow more advanced than it really is.
That these many circuits are well known and defined.
That, sir, is real BS.
Bullshit only a drug using culture could espouse.
It will probably be another century, or many centuries, before we can claim to understand the brain in any advanced way.
And it would surprise readers to really grasp how complex the brain is.
If an entire brain were mapped digitally, neuron by neuron, it would eclipse the digital content of the entire WORLD.
That means that imaging and mapping even a TINY brain requires VAST storage capacity - like
petabytes.
It would make DNA mapping look like ABCs...
And even this is only the beginning.
Actually analyzing such data, much less understanding, seems an insurmountable task.
It can be said that we may NEVER achieve a complete understanding of the central nervous system.
There are more electrical connections in your brain than there are ATOMS in the UNIVERSE.
Any 2a agonist will cause DOWN-regulation with repeated use.
Has 'cellular toxicity' occurred?
Does it matter?
The circuits in your brain are almost undeniably altered by LSD and shrooms, and negative experiences including HPPD and psychosis are evidence of this.
It is believed that true psychotic disorders, like schizophrenia, are not
caused by LSD but can be set off by it.
Statements like this do not reflect a complete understanding, only a very limited one.
I have met a number of older people that used LSD in the 60s and 70s.
And I can honestly say that NONE of them are completely 'normal'.
Drug users would typically start making statements that belittle the significance of this.
But it seems inescapable that such powerful serotonergic drugs do indeed cause
some brain damage.
The term 'damage' also reflects a very incomplete understanding.
We don't say a person has 'arm damage', do we?
No - it is a
fracture of the ulna.
So the language used in brain-talk is indicative of a deficit.
More BS terminology...
With TBI, diffuse axonal sheering is a common term used to describe what occurs.
Yet this is still a BLANKET statement that admits - we don't know WHAT the FUCK these circuits all do.
We just know that they are fucked...
Among MDMA research you can find the conclusions that MDMA does not cause 'gliosis' like traditional 'brain damage'.
Gliosis is the response by glial cells, which make up more of the brain than neurons.
Previously these cells were arrogantly thought to be useless, meaningless.
The name itself means 'glue' - as if they are nothing more than
packing material surrounding our precious neurons.
Even more evidence of how LITTLE we really understand.
Now glial cells are known to interact with neurons, providing anti-oxidants to protect... or toxic levels of glutamate to kill neurons or break connections.
They listen in on electrical activity in neurons and they even posses their own receptor sites for many of the neuron's neurotransmitters!
Glial cells talk to each other like a cell network, whereas neurons are more like hard-wired phone lines.
Glial research is a huge new frontier in brain research.
But it was well known that with TBI or tumors, glial cells often activate and cause 'scar tissue' to form, preventing the restoration of broken circuits.
Outside of the brain, glial cells provide the means for neurons to regrow - but in the brain and spinal cord they seem to interefere in this process.
And glial activation can be tested for like an antibody in the bloodstream.
So blood tests are given in early research on MDMA, and the conclusion was that 'gliosis does not occur'.
An argument for the absence of real 'brain damage'.
I quoted this finding repeatedly during the early stages of my posting on BL.
I clung to it as if this statement held true value.
It is easy for us to over-value the technical terms used in medicine, especially in neurology.
The mere presence of advanced terminology, as seen in my posts, can suggest a greater understanding than what actually exists.
As you pointed out - I could be the most talented BS artist you ever met.
And so could the neurologists.
And certainly the doctors who are NOT neurologists and make statements that even GOOD neurologists are wary of making...
New research shows that microglial activation DOES occur from MDMA toxicity.
So some type of 'brain damage' is assumed.
Again - insufficient terms that highlight insufficient understanding.
Too many repeat LSD users experience MAJOR cognitive and personality changes to say it is a 'safe' drug.
When I hear young people claiming - 'it is the cleanest purest and most harmless drug you can take' I shake my head.
And pound on the keyboard.
What arrogance.
Try talking to lots of hippies.
Some of them will talk about the good ol' days with nostalgia and even smile at the mention of acid - but if you look at the ones who took more than others, there is an unmistakable difference. The attention span, self-regulation, and self-awareness appears to be harmed.
They also seem just DUMB.
I'm completely serious - the heavier LSD users I have met literally seem stupid.
They do not process language or information quickly.
And the ones who DO function ok, still report lingering visual effects.
But that is just my limited experience.
The brain certainly has a LOT of plasticity built in.
The human organism didn't evolve without this being true.
So a limited amount of psychedelic drugs can probably be taken with acceptable changes occurring, in most people.
But there IS A CHANGE.
Period.
And it grows with each dose.
For LSD, repeated use is undeniably a bad thing and it has 100 times stronger affinity for the 2a receptor than psylosibin.
I have two friends that had MAJOR problems after mushrooms, which are considered much weaker than LSD.
Allow me to share...
One of them tried candy flipping, mixing MDMA and mushrooms.
But he was a heavy cannbis user and he had been taking shrooms on several occasions over a week or more already.
The FIRST time he combined shrooms and MDMA he had an out-of-body experience.
He didn't know WHERE he was, he ran into his bedroom, and layed on his bed for HOURS...watching a movie play out in his mind on the ceiling.
Sounds like fun.
Until the next day.
He developed flu-like symptoms, abdominal swelling, fever, severe anxiety, and more abdominal swelling.
And more swelling.
And lots of pain.
He ended up with an apendectomy that night and he went on to claim - I HATE MDMA.
He will never touch it, or shrooms again.
His story of intestinal injury is eerily similar to my own.
Then there is my other friend, who was taking ONLY shrooms.
But he made a habit out of it, as they were abundant where he lived.
He did them constantly...multiple weekends or days in a row.
And eventually it was one time too many.
Within days of his last trip, he experienced CRIPPLING anxiety and abdominal pain.
And swelling.
And fever.
When I say crippling, I mean that he wrote GOOD BYE letters to his family and friends.
He was CONVINCED, at the age of 18, that he was DYING.
And I can relate to that feeling.
When they opened him up, they found a section of small intestine that had crimped itself.
They removed it.
And a section of his large intestine had a stricture, or a narrowing that could not be treated.
He was required to eat a liquid diet for several months, and even now (5 years later) he has problems if he eats heavily for days in a row.
And he was an avid cannabis user when this happened.
His anxiety was SO severe that he HAD to quit smoking.
It took him more than a year to smoke again.
And he describes his anxiety as more intense than he could have imagined.
Even after many years of recovery, there is something different about him.
He is a very accepting, forgiving person - good qualities. But he is TOO forgiving, in my opinion.
He seems to lack ANY discriminating opinions about people, and the way they behave.
But he also lacks attention span and motivation to organize or clean.
There is a key element of higher cognition that he simply does not exhibit.
Both of my friend's stories are 100% true.
I would not invent anecdotes to support my own.
And I was quite shocked when I realized the similarity to my own 'brain damage'.
The first indication was chest pain and anxiety.
But it was the ABDOMINAL pain and swelling that felt like it would KILL me.
It was as if my entire GI stopped functioning, from top to bottom.
The swelling started just below my stomach and was visible.
It felt like a BRICK or a bag of rocks had materialized in my gut, out of nowhere.
And it traveled south so very slowly.
It took 2.5 hours of the most intense pain and anxiety I have ever felt before I finally was able to shit.
And shitting brought SO much relief.
It was a more intense endocrine experience than ANY roll I ever had.
There was no euphoria, only suffering.
Yet the cortisol release felt JUST like a comeup on MDMA.
And several other symptoms I experienced mirrored those felt during a normal 'roll'.
Whether or not we are talking about a potent and neurotoxic SRA (serotonin releasing agent) like MDMA or...
a non-toxic 5HT-2a agonist like psylosibin...or a very powerful agonist like LSD...
We are dealing with the intersection of TWO nervous systems.
Serotonin is the chemical that allows that intestines to contract with a rhythm that keeps us alive.
And it ensures even blood flow to all corners of our brains!
Our brains evolved around our intestines - so the advanced effects upon brain circuitry is NOT the primary purpose.
It is a miracle, nonetheless.
It is my educated and possibly 'BS' opinion that serotonin is the closest thing to a SOUL that we know of.
What else is a soul, if not the mysterious connection between body and mind?
We have not reached an adequate understanding of the brain to label ANY drug harmless, not even OTC medications like benedryl.
All that can be said about LSD is that its interaction with multiple receptor types in multiple circuits is SO complex that it
alludes our understanding. While clear toxicity, as defined by cellular death, is not detectable even in higher doses....it can be ASSUMED that some form of brain 'damage' or
adaptation is occurring.
If I were a researcher trying to elucidate 'toxic' effects of these 2a receptor agonists, I would look for changes in appetite, digestion, and libido.
And certainly abdominal pain linked to anxiety would be highly suspect.
Did you know that such a link is common with digestive disorders?
IBS is an amusing sounding illness, until you read about it.
Those people are as fucked in the head as many etards on BL.
They abuse medical resources in an attempt to control something that TORTURES them.
Both physically and emotionally.
There are books detailing the long road of recovery from IBS.
And it is well established that those who suffered
sexual abuse, esp. women, tend to have the most severe symptoms.
Doctors have even inserted balloons into the intestines of IBS patients to prove that brain activity responds to the slightest distension, the smallest pressure. The suffering of these patients mistifies doctors, and this is only one of many digestive ailments.
Cluster headaches can be treated with LSD.
Chinese have long said that migraines and headaches come from the GUT.
And modern medicine is starting to prove them right - serotonin receptor agonists can relieve severe headaches.
Most psychedelic drug users take moderate doses and do not suffer as horribly as my friends, myself, or these IBS patients.
But they are most likely making permanent alterations in their brain-gut circuitry.
And the limited understanding we have in neurology cannot deny this.
It is only a matter of time before some of the 'damage' is discovered and elucidated.
For now, the truly intellectual people in the world accept the fact that ALL drug use comes with a price.
There is NO drug use that is without consequence.
The same can be said for unhealthy diet and lifestyle, but drugs represent a higher risk.
Even cannabis, which is widely thought to be one of the most 'harmless' of drugs, is proven to cause long-term memory deficits even during abstinence.
And it alters the function of the PFC...
It takes over a YEAR of abstinence for decade-long smokers to regain typical performance on memory tests.
And after three decades it never returns. Of course these people are well into their 50s...
Age-related mental decline is important for young drug users to comprehend.
The brain is a truly magnificent and resilient organ, yet it is clear that optimal brain function exists for about TEN years.
Yes, there are brilliant children and youth.
And age brings wisdom - so people in their 40s and 50s often excel in their professional fields.
But it is between the mid 20 and 30s that people actually achieve their greatest neurological potential.
After this, there is a slow and steady decline.
And drug use, even during youth, is a reliable factor that contributes to age-related decline.
Your brain is going to start breaking down on its own, no matter what you do.
Do you think psychedelic drugs are going to help or hurt?
I do believe that for people with terminal illness or certain conditions, psychedelic drugs can provide a very meaningful change in brain function.
But these people are given carefully measured doses of PURE product, and they are not given it repeatedly.
Casual drug users that think psychedelic drugs, which rely on the BRAIN-GUT circuitry (an intersection of TWO nervous systems), can be used over and over again...they are fooling themselves.
And spreading the word that science has somehow determined them to be 'safe' is farcical.
Enjoy the trip, boys and girls.
And the next.
And the next...
