Very serious MDMA abuse related question

[take-it]

Hi,

this is one of those topics where members start debating whether the op is a troll so my first duty in this discussion is to inform you outright that I am not a troll and that yes, intelligent people can sometimes be THAT stupid when the ability to cope with what life throws at them fizzles away to nothing. That's when common sense, care, caution and everything that makes you a sensible person, you lose focus and can no longer maintain control.

I'm a 32 year old male, 200lbs at 5' 9".

I'm just going to cut to the chase, it's up to you whether you believe me or not, what's important are the facts. I don't need anyone telling me how stupid I've been, that would be stating the obvious and a waste of energy. I just need information.

Ok so I haven't done ecstasy since I was 17, I burned out after 6 months of using it with friends every Friday and Saturday. My comedowns were suddenly too shit compared to the experience the night before.

About 7 - 8 weeks ago I had an experience on MDMA crystals for the first time with a younger, more energetic friend. It did wonders for me.
Before I knew it, a lot of people I know suddenly started getting into it but I had easy access to a steady supply.

I enjoyed bombing twice, around the 160mg-200mg mark but I really got into railing. I'd think "I'll just have a couple of rails, listen to some tunes then have some weed and settle down". But those couple of lines would turn into like 8 or 12 hours of topping up until I reached some ultimate high. At first probably around 600mg-800mg during that time period.

Over the course of this 7 or 8 weeks I probably railed anywhere between 5 - 8 grams.

On one of the earlier experiences I was sick and it felt great, it was when I reached the point of hallucinating and eye wobbles.
The next night I was fixated with reaching that point again but it didn't happen and I had a heavy nausea that wouldn't leave. Absentmindedly I almost gave myself water intoxication trying to either quell the nausea or give me something to throw up but it didn't happen and I realised my mistake.
I got some electrolytes in me and monitored my situation carefully.

Anyway, it got to the point when I was hiding what I was doing from my friends, it became totally compulsive and on several occasions I didn't sleep for 2 or 3 nights in a row because I'd compulsively be railing MD instead of choosing to go to bed.

I could say more but that's enough for you guys to read and get your head around.

I did watch that MTV documentary about the girls addicted to molly and they were definitely not in a good way and were talking what I did for years but anywhere on forums people are shocked when someone says they took MD twice in a week or 500mg in one night. When I decided that what I was doing was dangerous I had railed 1.5g in 24 hours after staying up for 3 nights, the first night I bombed 160mg with friends and on the comedown took 27mg of 2c-b, the next night I had two very heavy breakthroughs on DMT and then from midday (8 hours after the DMT) I began my 24 hour binge on 1.5g on MDMA railing.

Am I in danger right now? Like, I'm not a stupid person but I'm fully aware of the stupidity of my behaviour with hindsight. At the time I was just doing it and then suddenly I thought about what I'd been doing and stopped.

Thanks

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

Hi,

this is one of those topics where members start debating whether the op is a troll so my first duty in this discussion is to inform you outright that I am not a troll and that yes, intelligent people can sometimes be THAT stupid when the ability to cope with what life throws at them fizzles away to nothing. That's when common sense, care, caution and everything that makes you a sensible person, you lose focus and can no longer maintain control.

I'm a 32 year old male, 200lbs at 5' 9".

I'm just going to cut to the chase, it's up to you whether you believe me or not, what's important are the facts. I don't need anyone telling me how stupid I've been, that would be stating the obvious and a waste of energy. I just need information.

Ok so I haven't done ecstasy since I was 17, I burned out after 6 months of using it with friends every Friday and Saturday. My comedowns were suddenly too shit compared to the experience the night before.

About 7 - 8 weeks ago I had an experience on MDMA crystals for the first time with a younger, more energetic friend. It did wonders for me.
Before I knew it, a lot of people I know suddenly started getting into it but I had easy access to a steady supply.

I enjoyed bombing twice, around the 160mg-200mg mark but I really got into railing. I'd think "I'll just have a couple of rails, listen to some tunes then have some weed and settle down". But those couple of lines would turn into like 8 or 12 hours of topping up until I reached some ultimate high. At first probably around 600mg-800mg during that time period.

Over the course of this 7 or 8 weeks I probably railed anywhere between 5 - 8 grams.

On one of the earlier experiences I was sick and it felt great, it was when I reached the point of hallucinating and eye wobbles.
The next night I was fixated with reaching that point again but it didn't happen and I had a heavy nausea that wouldn't leave. Absentmindedly I almost gave myself water intoxication trying to either quell the nausea or give me something to throw up but it didn't happen and I realised my mistake.
I got some electrolytes in me and monitored my situation carefully.

Anyway, it got to the point when I was hiding what I was doing from my friends, it became totally compulsive and on several occasions I didn't sleep for 2 or 3 nights in a row because I'd compulsively be railing MD instead of choosing to go to bed.

I could say more but that's enough for you guys to read and get your head around.

I did watch that MTV documentary about the girls addicted to molly and they were definitely not in a good way and were talking what I did for years but anywhere on forums people are shocked when someone says they took MD twice in a week or 500mg in one night. When I decided that what I was doing was dangerous I had railed 1.5g in 24 hours after staying up for 3 nights, the first night I bombed 160mg with friends and on the comedown took 27mg of 2c-b, the next night I had two very heavy breakthroughs on DMT and then from midday (8 hours after the DMT) I began my 24 hour binge on 1.5g on MDMA railing.

Am I in danger right now? Like, I'm not a stupid person but I'm fully aware of the stupidity of my behaviour with hindsight. At the time I was just doing it and then suddenly I thought about what I'd been doing and stopped.

Thanks

Why would anyone think you're trolling? I don't think that 1.5g is going to do you too much harm. I've had many nights on similar doses like that in the past. You'll have a nasty comedown maybe, but that's it, I would imagine.

Very jealous of the dimitri, damn how I miss that.

 

[Napdmd]

I have done similair dosage and binges like you. I had a pretty long comedown for about 3 weeks with brain zaps, DP/DR, depression and fatigue. It got a lot better after I took a lot of vitamin c (5 grams) alpha lipoic acid and a lot of vegetables and protein rich foods.

 

[take-it]

Hi guys,

thanks for the responses. I had to leave my computer for a while before I could come back and check up.
The reason I went straight into the troll issue is that I've done searches about this type of issue recently in various forums and people have talked about, for example, a friend who has recently railed MDMA twice in a week to the amount of .5g and the majority have responded with accusations of trolling or simply telling them that their friend is an idiot who is in serious trouble.

To hear that this type of binge isn't unheard of and that certain danger isn't lurking around the corner is a great relief.

I admit that I feel quite shit and I'm getting the beginnings of brain zaps but I've had that before from other withdrawals so I can cope with that.
I have some benzos for those moments when nothing else will help, like when I go into total anxiety mode and get all jittery. If it's a time that I'm happy to sleep then I'll use diazepam but if I just need to calm down then it's pyrazolam.

I have flubromazolam, flubromazepam, nifoxipam and etizolam but the half life on those things are way more than I need right now.

The fact is I've always been the guy who tells people to respect the drugs but I totally went astray and abused MDMA heavily than most people seem to think possible.
From things I've read I got quite paranoid and began worrying about my liver. I also suffer with gastric problems (to the degree that I need surgery and am awaiting a decision) which affects my entire life and messing with my serotonin levels like this definitely has a worse effect on my stomach and oesophagus than other people I know who take it. At the end of the night this gives me very bad abdominal sensations. That's normally when the benzos come in handy.
The good outcome of this is that I need to lose weight before the surgery and although this hasn't been the best method, I've certainly lost a few kg through lack of appetite and eating better food.

I have some 5-HTP capsules now and take plenty of vitamins.
I haven't experienced anything that has frightened me since stopping taking MD, my skin hasn't developed any yellow tinge, I'm not experiencing shakes or delusions and my fingernails and lips are a normal colour.
I think if I just keep doing what I'm doing I will be fine and I'll be more careful in the future.

2c-b was amazing, I hadn't tried it before and had been very nervous about the thought of it, but as we were coming down from our amazing roll we all felt very comfortable about the prospect of taking it and when we did, I don't know if it was because we were already up there, but there was no come up, we just transitioned and began to experience fantastic, vivid hallucinations. Everywhere I looked was morphing in a really interesting way but I didn't feel a million miles from home like I get with acid. I was very on the ball and able to take in and enjoy what I was seeing. When I closed my eyes, I got faint DMT machine-like visuals which surprised me.

When I took DMT I hadn't had any for well over a year and I was nervous. The stuff I have is very clean and has a potency beyond what I remember. I took three massive hits, first one hit me like a freight train, the second one filled my room with blinding hallucinations and I don't even know how I took the third but I did. Whatever happened, happened and then I took an hour before going again. All I remember from the first one was being thrown about violently but in jest and every time I had a thought they batted it away with a "click-clack" type sound and weird action that I can't explain but have experienced many times before.
The next time each hit came through about twice as thick as the first blast off. This experience I have no memory of, I was gone for 12 minutes and I'm 7 - 8 minutes consistently. Only once before have I been gone so long.
When they waved me off and I felt breath in my body I finally opened my eyes to see my room was completely separated and watery all over the place and it took a further 10 minutes of yawning, giggling and writhing about in a stupor before I could finally speak, look in the mirror and audibly say the words "so that's me". I meant it.
I don't know what happened at all but I know that the temporary eternity which I experienced was so profound that I was amazed to see myself and how I look, the memories of my life seemed like a dream and it was quite some time before I finally reached the point of getting to grips with time, 3-dimensions and me as a flesh and blood being with a past, possessions, hobbies and desires.

This DMT is so powerful, or the machine I used is so efficient I'm just going to take two hits next time to try to bring some memory of the experience back. I was too far gone and the sensorium was so fast paced that I didn't have time to stop and look. There are aspects of my early DMT use I miss. Sometimes you go beyond the point you were aiming for and what you get resembles more of a crashed computer than launching an application.

Well, from what I've heard I'm far less worried than I was before I posted earlier, I had visions of sneezing out my kidneys or farting chunks of liver.
My liver is barely put through it's paces though, I probably have around 20 units of alcohol a year at a push, haven't done MDMA since 2001, eat pretty well and drink almost exclusively spring water, so I guess I have that on my side.

I won't be taking any for at least 30 days but I definitely would like to try 2c-b again but this time from baseline and perhaps experiment with different doses of DMT to find my sweet spot again at some point.

Also, being as though MDMA has been around for so long thanks to the great and late Alexander Shulgin, and it has an extensive history of human use, we know little about it and there is a lot of conflicting information about it out there. I'm shocked.

What I will say though is if you need therapy for whatever reason, take a medium dose of MDMA with a close friend, once your roll levels out start talking. Whatever you had before will be gone after and any blockade you have between you and that person will be eradicated and your friendship strengthened beyond belief. As a medicine for those who suffer with an illness such as PTSD it works wonders if used with that intention.