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Stimulants Using speed (2fma) for performance enhancement?

Harambulus

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
624
Location
In the flow state
I used to get really pissed of with my lack of results and just take drugs and end up jerking off for 10 hours then feel like shit after. in hindsight i think a large part of my post drug depression was that i just wasted my time.

I am in a skilled area which is so fucking difficult and frustrating that i make hardly any noticeable progress and it only seems to be getting more difficult. I know exactly what i have to do but the constant failure only makes me more and more angry. People always tell me to just try harder but these are fuckers are eitehr ones who dont take action themselves and sit on the fence offering judgement or those who've had lucky breaks and like to attribute all their success to themselves and how 'tough' they are. I literally feel i have no willpower left to spend like a sick mangy dog kicked into submission and then kicked some more for the sadistic fun of it. Ive tried lowering the bar for success but i dont see how i could make it any easier and im still failing miserably at it.

It is maddeningly frustrating and the main problem is that im so bitter about my lack of results that it only sullies my motivation so im less and less inclined to take action.

The main reason ive been reluctant to use substances for performance enhancement in the past is because i didnt want it to end up being something i relied on as i thought that if it turns out successful then maybe the positive feedback loop would make it a bad habit.

Anyone had success at using strictly to improve performance while keeping a lid on the beast of abuse and keeping the beast in the cage?

My rational for using a performance enhancer would be that im currently angry and bitter because of my lack of results so if i use something as a crutch to blast me to a new level then i can just lose the crutch after and enjoy the fruits of my labour- in the true sense of a crutch once it did its job you get rid of it but at the time its instrumental in allowing you to get walking again.

Ive been trying to hold out as long as i feel i can saying 'let me see how i do this week' and then another day and another but there seems to be no break in the clouds at all.
 
"they found me face down in the street"

im ordering noopept idk try that... i use dextroamphetamine tabs... i read ur jerk off line yeah i know that 10 hour dissapointment shit.... now i just have no libido... i did fuck a milf 38 im 25 at a random motel and she knocked on my door lol so that was nice..... she saw tihkal and pihkal and was like ooooo u like that kinda shit....

im like yeah want some dex... shes like yeah want some lorazepam, she stole shit from me but i stole 20 lorazepams, she was hot... hope i dont have aids or have fucking a mad husband after poor me..... shit i woke up on my floor when i told her id come back for her hahaha it was a motel.... 4 years no pussy so shit my ass was like yes awesome..... fuckin a... she came on to me as im tweakin balls.... but anyways yeah ive isolated, and wasted a lot of time on the amphetamines those (18-22 while dating even fucking her 10 hrs lol daily) 10 hr all night sessions...... with porn myself.... yeah i wasted too much time.... im wasting time right now.... im on 130mg at this point at a 12 hr since starting almost its crazy..... im hot as shit...temperature wise... listening to alkaline trio bored about to get raped in half life 2 dm or read some of the story in pihkal (i onnly really look at the synthesis shit) but idk i have a lot going on i better get to the dark side...


i dont know what to tell u OP but i cant stop myself when i have it im using it now as an escape... without it i cry but 80 mg a day rxed is decent anyway dude uppers are fucking monsters thank God i have benzos daily on the side... phenibut is my new savior with kava tabs for 74 cents per 30 500mg pill blister.... try a noopept like drug... stack em ... idk i wanna see how they work.... but i wish i had a dr who would raise my dose or i could have better and get desoxyn he almost fucking did it... and no breaks for me i get breaks but they dont do shit 8 yrs of this im not 7 day tweaker anymore but i go 2-4 days on 18-20 hrs off sleeping wake up in a fog..... sad as shit...

"day or night, fuck if i know
hard to tell with no fucking window
and sundials, what good are sundials
once the sun is gone.... what are you good for?" lyrics.... sundials from trio played as i typed this out perfect timing lol.... on the shit i feel like or will tonight tonight not this 5 am tonight, its morning lol..... im only up 12 hours not even i woke up 530 jesus la weeezus we will be at 200 easy by tonight..... im going to get ativans and groceries.........

i love the supplements on the side.... phenibut especially amazon the orange bucket 200g.... plus kava and l theanine i feel relaxed kinda... very calm lots of up and hot as fuck......

nose over tail haha

later..... ooo yeah this .0000 scale for 22 bucks rocks... yes 4 0's with 10g weights and a little tray lol .... not for illegal purposes.... im ranting arent I BlueLight Thank God You Exist.....


sorry man.... just no its hard to keep a lid on it, if i had a bad ekg of the 4 recent or psychotic like symptoms id slow down... i did.... today its just fucked up i have no magnesium but i am also still using baking soda my bp is probably high i scooped it in the capsule 000 half of it... then dropped in the phenibut filled another with kava and ltheanine.... im ok not good not badd.... dont wanna jerk off tho ..... i cant shit its been 10 days... out of bupe fuck me... 19th i get more.. oo oo 3 bottles all my posts say the same shit fuck my life..... just u wait till i tell u dark side.... just u wait.... ill do it eventually...

(<3 / Skull ) polydrug addiction, sucks....

haha fuck my life... im going to alaska soon maybe.... maybe i hope i get on disability... glad i didnt take 130mg adderall..... but i got "time to waste" and thats whats playing now on my fucking i tunes so fuck the world like the song FTW nick 13 said it best.... later... gl... ur better than i am right now i cant say much about it but do not feel bad about wasted time, i am one to say i should feel and do feel the way you do, im 25 now 17 this started, i think idk then 18 got the rx and it was game over..... or game on.... game on right lol..... i moved recently out of a motel and popped 8 dex tablets 10mg ir d only isomer and 1 2mg kpin 40mg valium plowed the fuck out of there in 3 hours.... 3 loads and was up fucking around all night..... im stable right now too thats the sad thing.... idk how long i wont be sick for without bupe tho 5 days in 5 to go i think yeah idk im lost in days "oo shit its wednesday" kinda shit happens.... dude so dont feel bad.... ur doing ok look at my shit... im fucked... and this aint the story i will tell tds soon ... im just ranting so u can see how bad this shit is but i feel normal like idk..... its so weird.... tolerance is a bitch..... game on... steam... wish my ps3 was here.... ill get that shit today.... im missing out on the free 30 day activation its been 2 weeks no play.... no time im now in someone elses house on their couch so im doing dark side now cya all there fuckers....... jk u guys are all great....

no there is no break in the clouds man, i know just hang in there.... willpower you have to want it.... these drugs are too powerfull 2 percent rate of successfully cleaning off the amphetamine addiction i heard so let me say idk what shit ur taking but dude this hell is my home.... lol more lyrics at the tail but they feel right wow....

"this hell is my home"
 
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