Using MXE to counteract benzo withdrawal?

[MrFister]

I'm sorry if this doesn't belong in PD but I wasn't sure if it would go in PD or OD. I've been a poly-drug user for quite some time now, my drug itinerary consisting of a short stint with MDPV, long term adderall use, transient alprazolam/lorazepam use, rare DXM use, and most recently MXE. I was habitually using MXE for around 6 months, but i've effectively quit the habit out of concern for my mental and physical health nearly two months ago. I've used it only once in that time span, and I've had zero temptation to use it. Three weeks ago I had a psychotic break from stimulants, and that bothered me so much I was moved to quit drugs for the most part. Unfortunately after that psychotic break i've had extreme general anxiety with frequent panic attacks, oftenly the panic was worsened by my fear that I was contracting schizophrenia (I have a massive family history of it). To combat my anxiety i decided to treat with etizolam while keeping the doses relatively low.

When I first started benzing again I would take 1 mg to catch a buzz, but now I've supplanted the idea of getting high with the notion of functioning as a normal human being. I take 0.5mg usually twice a day, and if anxiety is worse than usual I supplement with a quarter tab (~0.25mg +/- 0.02mg). It's been roughly three weeks that have elapsed now, and i notice if I skip dosing my anxiety begins to worm its way back into my brain albeit its definitely not as bad as the few days after my psychotic break. I'm just worried that if I halt etizolam, then the inevitable rebound anxiety would trigger another panic attack or even worse: another psychotic break. Would taking a day where I have no obligations and using it to hole, meditate, and recuperate using mxe be advisable? My thinking is that the anxiolytic dissociation would kind of cushion my rebound through benzo withdrawal while simultaneously providing me with time to meditate on my life. The desire to use isn't out of compulsion or of addiction, as I completely trust myself to not use mxe without bound.

I'd appreciate any thoughts, opinions

 

[sekio]

1mg etizolam is not a lot, you should be able to taper fine?

Using a stimulant dissociative for anxiety seems like a dumb idea, and it also seems like it would exacerbate the bad side effects of benzo w/d.
And yeah, dissociatives are *known* for causing psychosis, they're used as model drugs for schisophrenia, so it's probably one to avoid if you are worried about psychosis.

 

[TheAzo]

That sounds like a terrible idea.

1mg/day of etizolam is a dose typically used in medical practice. I'm not sure how taking an addictive drug that you have a history of abusing to stop taking a typical medical dose of etizolam will have any desirable results. Especially if you're concerned for your sanity.

 

[MrFister]

I might have worded it vaguely, but I would be taking it ONCE on a day I cease to administer etizolam and not in a continuous fashion ie daily dosing. I absolutely do not want to be reliant on chemicals again

But the taper seems like the more straight forward option. How would I go about it, and what should I expect to feel? The last time I was using alprazolam it was in a very sporadic manner, and when I stopped using I experienced very mild w/d's. To my understanding alprazolam is a very short acting benzodiazepine while etizolam, in part due to its active metabolites, make it a medium length depressant. I can notice anxiolytic effects up to 18 hours after initial dosing, while additional doses seem to induce somnolence if administered 12 hours after initial dosing. Could a tapering schedule be somewhat similar to diazepam's tapering uses?

 

[Halif]

Would taking a day where I have no obligations and using it to hole, meditate, and recuperate using mxe be advisable?

Based on my personal experience, it would NOT be advisable.

The funny thing is, however, that small amounts of MXE were probably the only thing that helped me get through the tail end of a benzo taper. The key here being SMALL amounts. The other key is, of course, that different people have radically different responses to substances. But I will mention my experience because having a bigger pool of information is sometimes better.

The reason I think the idea of 'holing' to assist in the benzo recovery process is not advisable, is because I had the same idea months back and it led to the worst experience I've ever had with MXE, and one of the worst experiences I've had on any substance. My experiences with MXE have been overwhelming positive, but taking a high dose (a hole dose) while I was feeling anxious from short acting benzo WD did not go well at all.

Confusion and panic, basically. Probably the only true 'bad trip' I've ever had, and ironically I ended up taking benzos to 'save myself'. Then when I calmed down and actually came back to myself (I had quite literally lost all perspective/reference points), I realised that I'd just fucked up a couple of weeks of tapering. Disaster.

Later on I did the tapering again and then tried using small amounts of MXE, and this worked surprisingly well. It actually calmed me down when the anxiety flared up. Go figure.

However you go with it, good luck. I hope it works out OK and you feel better soon.