Benzos Using Benzos after addiction… am I making a terrible decision?

[Zapgunn]

Hey guys. So I used Benzos for about 2 years. I quit about 2 years ago. I had a pretty bad withdrawal, not nearly as bad as a lot of the stuff I read on here, but it was still very hard to get through and lasted almost a year (the whole time i was doing benzos i was also doing meth and heroin, so sometimes it was hard to differentiate what was benzo withdrawal and what was depression and anxiety as a result of prolonged use of the other drugs I mentioned.)

I’m Bi-polar 2 and quiting weed and kratom. I’m not having too bad of withdrawals from the kratom, but I think kicking these two things set of a manic episode for me, Im also off my meds, so that doesn’t help :/ I got a prescription for 10 0.5 mg Klonipins. After that my doc said he won’t prescribe me anymore, per my request.

SO… my question is: Is there any chance that taking these kpins will rebound me back into benzo withdrawal when I stop? Is it a terrible idea to be taking them? I hadn’t slept in 3 days and was starting to feel like I was losing my mind, so I feel like i really needed them. Do you guys think there will be any serious consequences to this decision? I may be being naive, but for some reason I really think I will be able to call it quits when they are finished (god i fucking hope).

edit: kinda went of on some tangents there. Main question: should I be worried about withdrawal?

 

[SKR]

^I'm no expert but I don't think you'll have an issue but I can understand your concern.

 

[kleinerkiffer]

I don't think you'll have to deal with withdrawal after 10 0.5mg Klonopin, but maybe rebound anxiety
If you just need something to sleep you should look into antihistamines like diphenhydramin (should be OTC)

 

[Zapgunn]

^I wish stuff like that worked for me. I’ve tried soooo many things, but unfortunately, when i do go through these periods of severe insomnia only benzos and opiates seem to help. Sometimes serequel does the trick, but not as well and it gives me some unpleasant side effects

 

[mankind]

Undoubtedly YES, you are making a terrible decision.

Read through some of my earlier posts (on this name) about my horrible benzo dependency. All it takes is that first time after you have some sobriety to trigger that dormant feeling in your head that you "need" them again. I came off ludicrous amounts of xanax/valium/klonopin, had terrible seizures, then thought a year or so later that I was "cured" and could just do it once more. I knew from a decade long battle with dope that this is not feasible and I was only bullshitting myself. Anyway, it lead to another year of extreme benzo use, in which I had two more seizures, got arrested, etc. It's addiction 101. Once your addicted, it's 99.99% that you will go back to addiction. Just because your doctor won't prescribe you more, will that really top you?

Anyway, some posts really touch me that I feel the need to respond, and yours is definitely one of them. I hope you decide not to do them. You more than likely won't go into withdrawal from them, but you'll no doubt awaken the sleeping giant in your head. Is it worth it?

A resounding NO, it isn't, is the answer.

 

[Moreaux]

If you were previously addicted to benzos I wouldn't risk picking them up again, just my opinion.

 

[namnoc16]

Undoubtedly YES, you are making a terrible decision.

Read through some of my earlier posts (on this name) about my horrible benzo dependency. All it takes is that first time after you have some sobriety to trigger that dormant feeling in your head that you "need" them again. I came off ludicrous amounts of xanax/valium/klonopin, had terrible seizures, then thought a year or so later that I was "cured" and could just do it once more. I knew from a decade long battle with dope that this is not feasible and I was only bullshitting myself. Anyway, it lead to another year of extreme benzo use, in which I had two more seizures, got arrested, etc. It's addiction 101. Once your addicted, it's 99.99% that you will go back to addiction. Just because your doctor won't prescribe you more, will that really top you?

Anyway, some posts really touch me that I feel the need to respond, and yours is definitely one of them. I hope you decide not to do them. You more than likely won't go into withdrawal from them, but you'll no doubt awaken the sleeping giant in your head. Is it worth it?

A resounding NO, it isn't, is the answer.

Listen to this guy ,he speaks the truth. Those 10 won't put you in wds but it is enough to kick up that evil voice in your head the guy I like to call the More Monster!

 

[Zapgunn]

Thanks for the advice guys. Your right, I was bullshitting myself. I told myself that I would only take one a night for sleep, but guess what? Its barely been 24 hours and I’ve already taken 5. No surprise there I guess. No bullshit, i just took one more and flushed the other 4 down the toilet. I can’t do this to myself again. Thank you for talking some sense into me. I really needed to hear that.

 

[namnoc16]

Thanks for the advice guys. Your right, I was bullshitting myself. I told myself that I would only take one a night for sleep, but guess what? Its barely been 24 hours and I’ve already taken 5. No surprise there I guess. No bullshit, i just took one more and flushed the other 4 down the toilet. I can’t do this to myself again. Thank you for talking some sense into me. I really needed to hear that.

This is what bluelight is for,good for you man!