• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Update from 6 months ago!

Lostcanoe

Lostcanoe

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
8
Location
Texas
It's been a while everyone, and I hope some of you remember my last post. I'm in a much better place now, staying fairly clean, but honestly I still get high every now and then.

I'm in a stable home, found a nice paying job, and I've been spending everyday with my daughter. She will be 2 in December, and I'm amazed how much she has grown.
Almost everything has gotten better, but here is my delima. My ex girlfriend of three years played me last month. Promises of getting back together, working on our little family, moving in with me to my new house, and everything sweet like that. I had just starting working, and every bit of my life was looking up.

That was until an ex of hers came into the picture. He is stationed in New Mexico (air force) and they haven't seen each other for 4 or so years. He comes to Texas to visit for a week, and she asks me if she can spend some time with him, and watch Avery while she's doing so. Of course, I agreed, I would do anything for this woman. She promised me they were just friends, and I put my faith into those words. Planned on making her my wife.

Well after the first day of them hanging out, I could already tell something was up. I questioned her of course, but didn't hound her as I knew that wouldn't make a difference either way. For the next 5 days she continued to promise me we were still going work things out, be a family again etc etc.

Fast forward to day 6, and she ignores me completely. She goes to work, and on her break sends me a text saying "I'm sorry." Obviously I was confused by this, asked her why she had apologized, because as far as I knew everything was okay. Don't get me wrong I'm not an idiot, I had ideas of what happened. She tells me she likes this guy, and plans on moving back with him to New Mexico. After a week of seeing him, not having seen him for three years.

And get this, the dudes 19, is already divorced and has two kidsides of his own. He doesn't have custody of either one. Her decision naturally broke my heart, my ex girlfriend I could learn to live without, but she is planning on taking my daughter to New Mexico as well. Ex has never even left the state.

Bluelight, that is my main problem right now. My daughter and only daughter will be a 9 hour drive away.

My question for you guys is, and any opinions are welcome, but should I try for custody? I have the means to provide my daughter just as good as life as she would have in New Mexico, and with her real father. Plus her whole family lives here, ex girlfriends, and mine including her god father.

I am torn. I don't want to deny my ex a chance at happiness, but I cannot accept my daughter being so far away. I don't want to be an every other month father. I want to be there to experience her learn, grow and live life. Opinions please, I think my ex is being way too hasty..
 
well apparantly she herself has no problem taking your child away from you just because of some other guy. she also doesn't consider that a loving father isn't something you take away from a child. if you don't wanna end up seeing your child only every once in a while, you should do something about it.
 
I appreciate that and I completely plan on that. Talking to my lawyer next week. I was hoping someone who has been through something similar could share their thoughts and experiences
 
^good luck. I hope that she might even realize the implications of her decision and turn around. either way, you should fight to be with your child.
 
Thanks again, I really do appreciate it. I need all the luck I can get, Texas very seldom sides with the father. Really I didn't ever want to get courts involved, but this is pushing it too far, and I feel Avery and I's relationship is threatened. I refuse to be the dad she rarely thinks about, she is my world and I deserve to be a part of hers
 
Lawyer up and get your shit together nice and tight. Don't even think about even running a red light. If your lawyer is smart there is no way in hell he will let your ex move out of state with a man she has been with for one week. It is time to forget about happy families and fight for your daughter because if she crosses that state line you will have very little chance of getting her back without an even greater fight.

Are you clean if drugs and legal issues? Do you have a secure job and home? Does your ex have a job to go to? These are the issues that will decide your fate. Don't fall for any crap your ex tries to pull. Get custody of your child and then let her try and win you back. Personally I'd forget about having a romantic relationship with someone so deceitful and concentrate on simple have a civil relationship with the mother of your child.

This is a game of who is more adult and you are sure as hell going to have to prove it to any lawyer and judge that your ex hires. Best of luck
 
I appreciate all the input, and support everyone. Like I said I am talking to my lawyer next week, as soon as I can.
Just to let everyone know, I have no thoughts or intentions of getting back with this woman. In my opinion she is being purely evil, and is trying to do something I cant ever forgive.

I am fairly clean, I get high occasionally, but I don't smoke weed. I can pass a drug test at any given time. Secure job and home, check. My ex has no planned job, and is actually not planning to get one at all when in NM. Quitting her current job before she moves.. ignorant
I've known her so long, and I can obviously tell she is just looking for the easy way out. She has no ambition, and no drive to take care of anything. She expects it all to be handed out to her, just like it always has been.
 
I have no experience BUT you have a chance at this. You have a good job. She is with a guy who is basically a mess. If HE doesn't have custody over his kids, why would they let her have custody when she's living with someone irresponsible like that? She doesn't have a job. You have a home and a job, that's more than she has. YES usually judges and whatnot favour the mother. So you really do have to prove yourself. But when you have a good lawyer, it CAN be possible, especially in a situation like this.
 
Lostcanoe said:
And get this, the dudes 19, is already divorced and has two kidsides of his own
Click to expand...

Jesus Christ. Absolutely fight for custody. You said they hadn't seen each other for four years? So the last time they were together, he was 15? 15?! How old are you both, if you don't mind me asking?

This situation screams military marriage, as I'm sure his previous marriage was.
 
Once you start your court proceedings no matter what happens she CANNOT take the child out of state until the court proceedings are finished and custody is agreed upon make sure you start the court proceedings before she moves out of state because you have to take her to court where the child lives. Even if you can't get full custody you can get it so she can't move with the child out of state. The child has to have access to both parents. Usually what happens is joint custody is awarded and no one can move the child out of state without the other parents agreement or it will be taken to court and the judge will decide. Make sure you tell them that she has introduced this man after only one week of hanging out and is moving in with him most judges frown upon this because it can mess with a child's head because most likely this relationship will not work out and if she does this once then whats to say she is not going to be introducing many men into her child's life and that will mess the child up making the child think it is okay to have men coming in and out of their life. So as long as you keep your nose clean so far as i can see you have a strong case against her for keeping the child in your state. Be prepared to defend yourself because if this women really wants to move she is probably going to bring up your past and all the "bad" things you have done its will be a sh*t show so be ready to fight. You've done the best thing so far and thats get a lawyer because fighting for custody is so hard if you don't have one and don't tell her you are bringing her to court wait until you have filed and she has been served so that she doesn't run with the child out of state. Now if she runs with the child after she has been served then that is parental kidnapping and she will get arrested for that. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to feel free to msg me.
 
This is truly a sad situation.. I'm not judging anyone but I think your ex is being selfish and not thinking of your daughters well being. She would rather chase men.. It is such bullshit the court favors women in custody battles no matter what usually.

Please don't hesitate to do all you can to get your little girl. She needs her daddy in her life! So sad.. I hate seeing things like this happen to kids. Best of luck man you CAN do this!
 
Definitely go to court to fight for custody, not only to have rights to your daughter, but so you aren't slapped with child support later on. That could get you in jail. From the info you've provided, it sounds like you have a good shot at this. Good luck!
 
Thanks got all the replies everyone, and like I said I am waiting on my father to get back from overseas friday, and then I will be taking to a lawyer. Even if I can't get full custody I can take new mexico out of the picture for my daughter. Child support is fine with me, as I already provide mother and daughter with s'more than enough

For the people who asked I am 20, 21 in March, and my ex is 18, 19 in Jan.

And at jrfitz
You have been very helpful, as was everyone else, but I confirmed what you said with 2 lawyers over the phone Today. Thanks again for this.e

And to everyone, I used to think of this woman aas the ideal woman; she did everything right, same ideals as parents, but this is totally out of the blue, and out of character for her. Something has changed her rapidly, and what that was escapes me. Seeing as how young we are, I can understand my ex is still developing herself, but I can't see why that should effect my daughter's connection with me. A relationship is the last thing I'm worried about right now. Here's my list of things I need to do -

1. Figure out how to save my daughter
2. Take the classes to become an EMT
3. SAVE MONEY, but this is always going to be
4. Fix my truck, as of right now it's not too important as I have an agreement for rides with my roommate
?5. ????? Relationship lol
 
I'm proud of you for stepping up to do what's best for your little girl. That's much more than can be said for people much older than you! And for keeping such a positive attitude which will definitely help, it makes all the difference in the world. <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top