untitles / the train

[Dastrix Slogan]

untitled / the train

rain tonight
late tonight
alone tonight
again

I take the last train out
cold yellow plastic seats

noise of the track,
the monotony of my life
flickering flourescents
sickly pale, washed world
flickering, flickering out

darkness outside makes mirrors on the window
who is this man, this boy
transparent ghost on the glass
distorted darkness hurtling past him
passing through him
lifetimes missed
always beyond the edge of vision

his eyes fill with tears
i can no longer look
sadness burns in my throat

the scream of metal, we screech to a halt
if I scream too, will this pain stop?
wisps of cold lash my body, a mockery
to the warm arms that once held me

the doors release their prisoner, a gaping alien mouth
wedged between pale unemotional eyes
purgatory slides off to find new passengers

again I will walk home
home from the station
walk drenched in the cold rain

every drop i wring from my clothes
seems like another little bit of you
melting away from my life
i am scared there will be nothing left of me when you have all gone

i miss you every day,
every night,
but tonight was the worst.

 

[mr_fluffy]

Re: untitled / the train

the scream of metal, we screech to a halt
if I scream too, will this pain stop?

i had to read these lines several times. i'm speechless. pure insight, untainted.

 

[SnowFrog]

I have to agree with mr_fluffy....that is an amazing piece of work

 

[PsychoKitten]

This is an amazing piece, it stirs so much inside me and makes me feel, not necessarily wanted feelings but feelings nonetheless and that's what good writing is all about.

Much love,

Kitty

 

[Innocuous]

I'm just bumping this, because I can't belive I missed it.
The way you've translated emotion through imagery is perfect, so intimatly transporting. Theres a sense of maturity here I've not often seen. I'm really impressed.

 

[Innocuous]

I'm just bumping this, because I can't belive I missed it.
The way you've translated emotion through imagery is perfect, so intimatly transporting. Theres a sense of maturity here I've not often seen. I'm really impressed.

 

[chrissy]

what can i say? u havent failed to amaze
and uve captured quite beautifully a (ironically) "perfect" day in my life. man i need to get myself outta this rut.
but nonetheless.. wonderful... genius. i love it to bits!!

chrissy

 

[grey kat]

very beautiful peice of work! please post more!