until dawn

[33-33]

Losing me deeper in ecstasy’s dream
Directionless feelings flow with the stream.
The world is a chess board and I am a pawn
Trudging so slowly towards a new dawn.

But landscapes are not what man would consent;
A scape of a void where reality’s bent.
Floating through worlds that change as I choose,
I journey much deeper, but not do I move.

Steering to clearings of heavenly clarity
My steps are like hell: devoid of all gravity.
Pondering mysteries that rise from the ground
Immortality’s there, but never is found.

Angels will drown in the river of Styx
While I feed my insecurities
All in time to a beating drum
Floating in obscurity.

Accepted rejections and imperfect perfections
Swirl with evasive glee.
They light up the sky but don’t tell me why
Only offer me previews of what I might be;

Of subconscious musings where enemies lie
Listening so deeply to songs of the sky.
I’m searching for shelter in silk-satin scenes
Solidity melts into not-what-it-seems.

Heavens are sinking; the sun drags them down
To the burning horizons of far-away towns
The air is like liquid with shimmering sound
And fiery orb of crimson and brown.

But this world that lives on borrowed time
Will slink away before my eyes.
A tide of blackness dissipates,
And greets morning shining at the gates.

So what of this world that shares everyone?
Of silken ideals beneath midnight suns.
Searching for dawn from deep within
Pining for reality to begin.

Billions lie, re-assured
That the blood-red sun will shine once more.
And maybe life will be reclaimed.
For Night is just a different lens,
Where dreams can roam, untamed.

 

[drug_wench]

i really like the flowing rhythm and the mystical quality of it
it gives an eerie, 'magical' feel about it
well done!

 

[colicolo]

there is a fantasical feel to this swiftly flowing piece. it takes a firm grasps of some delicate perseptions of this messed up world.

Accepted rejections and imperfect perfections
Swirl with evasive glee.
They light up the sky but don’t tell me why
Only offer me previews of what I might be;

there's nothing cutesy about this sincere insightful write
like a cheeseburger after a hangover it made me feel good inside with extra understanding. its diffinitly not a few fries short of a very happy meal.

 

[Amanita Mary]

'Losing me deeper in ecstasy’s dream
Directionless feelings flow with the stream.'

'
Accepted rejections and imperfect perfections'

hooray for irony! i like the way you describe the turning of this sick world in relation to the sky and borrowed time... the description of the burning horizons and thick liquid air were especially vivid... this piece gave me many a gloomy visual - thank you :D

 

[(Wordy)]

This stanza has a 'classic' ring to it because it's so rhythmic and deftly rhymed, and these aspects contribute to the impact of the meaning:

But this world that lives on borrowed time
Will slink away before my eyes.
A tide of blackness dissipates,
And greets morning shining at the gates.

These lines are lovely too (a beautiful note to end on):

And maybe life will be reclaimed.
For Night is just a different lens,
Where dreams can roam, untamed.

Nice work!

 

[33-33]

Thanks people. The comments are appreciated. This one kind of spewed out of me all at once. Was a nice change.