Stimulants Unique psychosis and likely long term brain damage

[tracedwards313]

I had a very hardcore meth induced psychosis about a year ago. There were some probably factors such as heavy alcohol use that componded the shear intensity of the episode. Its would be a 10/10 in every psychosis indicator. Long story short it lasted 5 days and ended in the psych unit. Luckliy tje recovery was fast with no noticable long term effect.

I got clean totally for 6 months after.

I currently use multiple drugs but not in routine and meth is sporadic. Roughly 2 or 3 times a month and never go on benders like in the old days

Unfortunately I have learned that my threshold to reach psychosis has been drastically shortened. It takes 2 to 3 days and ill be experiencing hallucinations and paranoia that are. considered worse than when I used to go for week long benders (rarely) and trip but not in a negative or out of control way. Also alcohol can make it even worse. I recently had drank for like 3 days kinda heavy and then did a larger shot than I usually would and it cause sever psychosis in less than.12 hours!

I dont let the psychosis effect me as it may to someone who didnt know what was going on. Its not just slight halluinations I have. Fully form visual beings like shadow.people, elfs, bugs, tripping colorful mechinal structores, and the worst is the auditory hallucinations that can imitate any voice exactly and are obviously connected to your sub conscience brain because they know what to say that will trick you. It fucking sucks!!!

I dont use enough to care most of the time and when I do use I go one and done. But it can easily happen. I obliviously spun right now and my phones keyboard sucks ass

Honestly my fear is the damage to my brain. Obviously something has been damaged but when Im sober I dont have any noticable cognitive issues. I have friends and family who would say something if they though i was mentally affected in any way.

I hope i dont fucking develop schizophrenia or some shit. That would be what makes sense because severe stimulant.psychosis literally mirrors schizophrenic symptoms identically from a medical stand point.

I have found scientific evidence supporting the significantly heightened risk of psychosis after the first experience. Which I already knew but still at least its no longer anecdotal evidence.

It suck when something youd never expect happens to you. Meth doesnt care who you are. I have an above average IQ not that its an indicator of intelligence it doesnt hurt.

This post probably looks like a brain dead tweaker attemping to.deny his fate wrote it lol but i dont have patience for this phones shit typos.

I hope it made sense enough. If not fuck it ill take it down later.

 

[Quere]

I had a very hardcore meth induced psychosis about a year ago. There were some probably factors such as heavy alcohol use that componded the shear intensity of the episode. Its would be a 10/10 in every psychosis indicator. Long story short it lasted 5 days and ended in the psych unit. Luckliy tje recovery was fast with no noticable long term effect.

I got clean totally for 6 months after.

I currently use multiple drugs but not in routine and meth is sporadic. Roughly 2 or 3 times a month and never go on benders like in the old days

Unfortunately I have learned that my threshold to reach psychosis has been drastically shortened. It takes 2 to 3 days and ill be experiencing hallucinations and paranoia that are. considered worse than when I used to go for week long benders (rarely) and trip but not in a negative or out of control way. Also alcohol can make it even worse. I recently had drank for like 3 days kinda heavy and then did a larger shot than I usually would and it cause sever psychosis in less than.12 hours!

I dont let the psychosis effect me as it may to someone who didnt know what was going on. Its not just slight halluinations I have. Fully form visual beings like shadow.people, elfs, bugs, tripping colorful mechinal structores, and the worst is the auditory hallucinations that can imitate any voice exactly and are obviously connected to your sub conscience brain because they know what to say that will trick you. It fucking sucks!!!

I dont use enough to care most of the time and when I do use I go one and done. But it can easily happen. I obliviously spun right now and my phones keyboard sucks ass

Honestly my fear is the damage to my brain. Obviously something has been damaged but when Im sober I dont have any noticable cognitive issues. I have friends and family who would say something if they though i was mentally affected in any way.

I hope i dont fucking develop schizophrenia or some shit. That would be what makes sense because severe stimulant.psychosis literally mirrors schizophrenic symptoms identically from a medical stand point.

I have found scientific evidence supporting the significantly heightened risk of psychosis after the first experience. Which I already knew but still at least its no longer anecdotal evidence.

It suck when something youd never expect happens to you. Meth doesnt care who you are. I have an above average IQ not that its an indicator of intelligence it doesnt hurt.

This post probably looks like a brain dead tweaker attemping to.deny his fate wrote it lol but i dont have patience for this phones shit typos.

I hope it made sense enough. If not fuck it ill take it down later.

Your post makes sense and you don’t sound like a braindead tweaker at all

I also believe that having a drug induced psychotic episode predisposes you to having them in the future. I have had 3 episodes all induced by hallucinogens, before the first one I was the guy who never freaked out no matter how many drugs I took but since that first time it’s like a switch has been flipped in my brain and it’s no longer safe for me to use hallucinogens.

I feel very lucky that my psychosis has always resolved promptly with abstinence from hallucinogens but I feel like if I kept trying to use them there would be a high chance of developing a lingering psychotic disorder.

Obviously in your case the best treatment would be to quit the trigger drugs (stimulants) completely but that is easier said than done of course. Aside from that I would continue trying to cut down like you have been and if/when you use stimulants, take them in the morning (early afternoon at latest), get to bed at your normal sleep time and make sure you have some benzos, zopiclone or sedating antihistamines to help you sleep!

Also I think you haven’t necessarily damaged your brain irreparably just because you’ve had these psychotic episodes and hopefully what damage there may be will heal over time, the human brain is a crazy resilient thing!

 

[tracedwards313]

Thanks for the reply. It actual made me feel better because Im current hallucinating and cant sleep for anything! Plus when I close my eyes the vividness because so intense that I am incapable of being aware of whats real or fake as a few minuts. I am stupid enough to have made the exact same mistake 3 times now. which involves heavy alcohol days prior to using meth resulting in extreme on set on set psychosis. Then have to spend basically 2 days acting as if nothing is wrong while surrounded by people that have no clue. Its terrible!

The halluinations dont usually "get to me" or cause fear. But, my research did explain the how the hippocampus becomes hyper stimulated during sever psychosis which causes extreme uncontrolled fear and paranoia without any stimuli needed. It matches exactly to me when a random movement like a leaf will cause an quick involuntary jerk reaction that most people have experience while in a car.

Its so frustrating be just like. I have always been that guy word for word. Especially with psychedelics my attitude was to face fear with pleasure and even know that attitude hasnt fail me while tripping.

But this shit is not the same. Its out of my control completely and not to btag but most people could even had my current state with no help. My past experience with psychedelics definitely help me.

Some of the shit I see and hear is completely unbelievable. It vivid narure of objects and designs that seem to have had to be designed with intent, but how could my brain create something that is unknown?? But there it is sirting next to a few giant red legged mechanical spiders who live in the couch lol sometimes everything will be still and I think its over then in no time the room is filled with a citites of flying, dancing, crawling other worldly creatures that dont mind being seen or examined at all. Shadow people always flee immediately but im happy they are shy lol fuckkkkk that

I have to work in 3 hours. Im a fuck jackass

 

[tracedwards313]

I also experiencing some cognitive issues, basical my though are easily broken or distracted and short term focus is a joke. Its like constantly starting to do something but it doesnt ever end. I can tell my writing sttle is different to but I just keep pushing through.

I have considered using some heroin to help come down but idk if it will help or hurt. Whats your opinion on that? Obviously its not ideal but i dont know anyone who fucks with benzos these days

 

[Keif' Richards]

Hey there! I'm sorry you have to deal with this bullshit. I'm surprised that this type of stuff is not reported more often. Maybe it's just a matter of chance, but the only guy that I really know personally who uses Meth has also had a lot of issues with pyschosis. This same guy that I'm talking about experiences intermittent hallucnations, mood swings etc. even after periods of abstinence. I'm talking like more than a month of no psychoactive drug use and he still is dealing with this. I think that you bring up a very interesting point in regard to the Alcohol use. The thought that comes to mind initially is that perhaps dehydration is causing this stuff to come on more quickly than one would expect. I don't think it would be surprising.

It's okay for this to stay open, but I think ultimately you will only get to the root of this problem by seeking professional help. Is it possible for you to see a neurologist? The only other option is to wait and see if these symptoms improve on their own. I'm going off of the assumption that you would be willing to admit drug use in the course of trying to get better. I have no judgement if you don't feel comfortable going this route, but I really think you should consider it.

 

[Isnortice91]

You should try not to shoot up meth. You should just snort a fat line once a month.
You're brains chemistry has been altered by shooting up meth. But I strongly believe these meth hullicinations are us contacting the spirit world and our brains unlocking the 5th dimension. I had a episode where I heard a voice call my name. But it only happened 2 times. Never happens currently.

 

[Isnortice91]

Thanks for the reply. It actual made me feel better because Im current hallucinating and cant sleep for anything! Plus when I close my eyes the vividness because so intense that I am incapable of being aware of whats real or fake as a few minuts. I am stupid enough to have made the exact same mistake 3 times now. which involves heavy alcohol days prior to using meth resulting in extreme on set on set psychosis. Then have to spend basically 2 days acting as if nothing is wrong while surrounded by people that have no clue. Its terrible!

The halluinations dont usually "get to me" or cause fear. But, my research did explain the how the hippocampus becomes hyper stimulated during sever psychosis which causes extreme uncontrolled fear and paranoia without any stimuli needed. It matches exactly to me when a random movement like a leaf will cause an quick involuntary jerk reaction that most people have experience while in a car.

Its so frustrating be just like. I have always been that guy word for word. Especially with psychedelics my attitude was to face fear with pleasure and even know that attitude hasnt fail me while tripping.

But this shit is not the same. Its out of my control completely and not to btag but most people could even had my current state with no help. My past experience with psychedelics definitely help me.

Some of the shit I see and hear is completely unbelievable. It vivid narure of objects and designs that seem to have had to be designed with intent, but how could my brain create something that is unknown?? But there it is sirting next to a few giant red legged mechanical spiders who live in the couch lol sometimes everything will be still and I think its over then in no time the room is filled with a citites of flying, dancing, crawling other worldly creatures that dont mind being seen or examined at all. Shadow people always flee immediately but im happy they are shy lol fuckkkkk that

I have to work in 3 hours. Im a fuck jackass

Quit the alcohol before meth use.
Try not drink anymore .

 

[Jabberwocky]

I also experiencing some cognitive issues, basical my though are easily broken or distracted and short term focus is a joke. I

Don't worry too much about your cognitive issues yet. I have been a heavy meth user and I am also a writer and researcher (not about drugs!) and I have found that after heavy usage I cannot read well, remember what I have read, or write very coherently and definitely cannot construct arguments or lay down complicated thoughts in writing. However, with time and abstinence for a while this ALWAYS improves significantly. I don't think I have excessive brain damage with respect to IQ though I do possibly have some memory issues.

I have read up on this and dopamine depletion (which is likely only temporary if you lay off the meth for a while) can mimic brain damage. Work on getting your dopamine levels healthy again and all those sluggish, half-formed, not-quite-there thoughts will become sharp and clear again. There are lots of articles out there basically saying the same things as this one: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320637.php

 

[tweakerguy]

I'm 99% sure you can't develop schizophrenia from drug use. It's something you're born with that can manifest from drug use.
Meaning if you dont have it at 28, you likely never did or will.

 

[Painful One]

Man, I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with this tracedwards.
I have had some of the symptoms you are talking about after I hit my head really hard in a car accident where someone hit me from behind on the freeway at high speed.

When I went back to work, I literally had no idea how to do my job. I had to keep leaving post it notes to remind myself of what to do.
I still have a very difficult time with names and memory. I too, noticed my handwriting changed and I have had the auditory hallucinations.

It did get better with time and care. Eating healthy. No drugs. prescription morphine did help some honestly.
I felt my brain start to plug back in and light up certain areas. It was so weird. Like I felt the strangest sensations in my brain and then all of a sudden I could remember a whole skill set and memories. I had my memory just knocked out completely. I was like a child for a few.

I know it is scary as hell. I do think we have some brain damage. I mean, we do. I do. I have seen it on an MRI.
Just keep on keeping on my friend. Somehow you learn coping skills and ways to compensate.

Sending you lots of love and prayers.
Hang tough!
what doesn’t kill us just makes us stronger right!?

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Please see a doctor, or medical professional such as a neurologist. Be honest about your mental health issues, and and drugs both legal, prescribed, and illegal that you use or have used. You will not get into legal trouble by doing this.

 

[tracedwards313]

Thanks everyone, I am doing much better now. Everything went back to normal as soon as a got some sleep.

Whenever I find myself in that state of mind, its difficult to be rational and to make sense of what is actually happening. Making it easy to become paranoid and think to much about useless crap.

Before I managed to sleep and return to normal, I had to work a 10 hour shift, at which point I experience a full blown psychosis unlike anything I have experienced before. I work in a large factory setting with many other people around , I began having auditory hallucinations of two male voices that were purposeful annoying me and wouldnt shut up. I knew it wasnt real so i ignored the best I could and continued to work.

Long story short. More voices, all with very specific personalities start speaking to me and eventually started speaking "through" people near me. Eventually the voices told me that they were demons sent to tell me that I was going to die that night in a car wreck. It got ridiculously intense and I was terrified. I started having full on halluinations that seemed so real that it had to actually be real. The scariest fucking demons of astonishing detail and variety began surrounding me, until Lucifer himself rose up from hell, he grew about 30ft+ tall in the middle of the warehouse. He was yelling at me and preaching his ideas. Everywhere were i went people had demons or angels speaking for them. Telling me to leave or to stay. At this point I had lost touch completely and even though I was maintaining composer and not letting anyone know what I was experiencing, the rest of my night got so fucking crazy and out of hand. I met God and spoke to him face to face, fought evil demons. Way to much to explain.

The best I can descibe it was I literally entered a different dimension, the world appeared the same but it was full of all sorts of other beings. They could speak and had personalities, it seemed as if what I was experiencing was not a hallucination at all. The complex depth and variety of this "place" couldn't just be randomly made up by my brain. It seems likes the drugs, lack of sleep, and potential other factors had shifted my brain function which altered my perception and allowed me to see in to an alternate reality. I know it sounds crazy but for anyone who has experienced it, will agree.

Of course, its easy for people to ignore and discount any idea that there is something more powerful going on within this experience, and that its merely hallucinations of a brain in psychosis. But until a person has been through it, they cant understand what its like.

Personally, I think some of it is real, just not "real" in how most people think. Its a very complex and fragile state that has multiple influencing factors that make the brain very unstable. Its possible that a "vail" in the brain that usually separates dimensions is altered and things can seep through. Who knows.

Its impossible to know for sure but either way its not something you want to experience. It extremely dangerous and its impossible to predict. Its also progressive, so if you use meth and haven't ever had anything too crazy happen, dont think it cant. I used for years, at higher doses and longer binges without any issues.

The alcohol and IV meth were definitely the big contributing factors in my situation. My use was foolish, reckless, ignorant and Im very lucky that I didnt cause any serious damage. So, Im done using meth for now. The risks are to big for me to justify using at all. Meth sucks anyway, Im rarely productive and all I do is jack off! Its a fucked up drug and any positive traits it has dont last long and the negatives get exponentially worse.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Meth sucks anyway, Im rarely productive and all I do is jack off! Its a fucked up drug and any positive traits it has dont last long and the negatives get exponentially worse.

Amen Brother

 

[Keif' Richards]

If it is alright with OP, I think some inquiries by the nerds over in Advanced Drug Discussion might be able to chime in on the issue of hallucinations and psychosis as they relate to Meth specifically.

We could use the posts in this thread as a foundation maybe?

 

[tracedwards313]

For sure man

 

[Painful One]

Hey @tracedwards313 I completely agree with your assessment of what happened. You got knocked into another dimension.
I have had a near death experience. That is a long story. Too long for me to type out right now. Maybe I will share it with you guys sometime if anyone is interested.

I completely left my body. I saw what was happening to me in the hospital and I was trying to tell the doctors that were working frantically to restart my heart that I was okay, I was right here! I had two Angels come and they took me to The Kingdom of God!
I met Jesus. I knew everything and had knowledge of the entire universe. I understood it from multiple ways like mathematical, love, etc..
I met all kinds of different souls. It was intense!!

I mean I literally had like a Book of Enoch experience. It has turned out to be the hugest blessing on my life! It completely changed my personality to the Best I can Be. I have a gift to help others now. I am like a Shaman now.

Use this experience to help you. Don’t be afraid of it. The fear will cause negative things to happen, you must be fearless now.
There is nothing to fear either. If you are fearless, those demons can’t touch you. Ever!

I am here if you need or want to talk about this more.

Be well!
You are Loved! ❤

ps: NO more meth! No WAY!!

 

[tracedwards313]

Hey @tracedwards313 I completely agree with your assessment of what happened. You got knocked into another dimension.
I have had a near death experience. That is a long story. Too long for me to type out right now. Maybe I will share it with you guys sometime if anyone is interested.

I completely left my body. I saw what was happening to me in the hospital and I was trying to tell the doctors that were working frantically to restart my heart that I was okay, I was right here! I had two Angels come and they took me to The Kingdom of God!
I met Jesus. I knew everything and had knowledge of the entire universe. I understood it from multiple ways like mathematical, love, etc..
I met all kinds of different souls. It was intense!!

I mean I literally had like a Book of Enoch experience. It has turned out to be the hugest blessing on my life! It completely changed my personality to the Best I can Be. I have a gift to help others now. I am like a Shaman now.

Use this experience to help you. Don’t be afraid of it. The fear will cause negative things to happen, you must be fearless now.
There is nothing to fear either. If you are fearless, those demons can’t touch you. Ever!

I am here if you need or want to talk about this more.

Be well!
You are Loved! ❤

ps: NO more meth! No WAY!!

It's so awesome to have someone who understands what I went through! It's not something that you can talk about with anybody in the normal world without sounding totally fuking insane lol

it's hard to tell the story with any depth because normal no one wants to hear it, as its has no relation to their reality, so I get it.

I agree with you that it does feel like the experiences was a gift and it absolutely changed me in a way I didnt believe was possible.

Im glad you made it through too!!! What a fucking mind ripping trip!!

Yes, no more meth! I doubt many people would dare to try meth if they knew the true magnitude of its deception and the unbelievable power that it has.

 

[Painful One]

It's so awesome to have someone who understands what I went through! It's not something that you can talk about with anybody in the normal world without sounding totally fuking insane lol

it's hard to tell the story with any depth because normal no one wants to hear it, as its has no relation to their reality, so I get it.

I agree with you that it does feel like the experiences was a gift and it absolutely changed me in a way I didnt believe was possible.

Im glad you made it through too!!! What a fucking mind ripping trip!!

yeah exactly.
“What a fucking mind ripping trip!!”
I am glad you made it through too!
It took me some years to digest that. I came out of it like a diamond in the rough and now I am a full blown shiny sparkler!

I promise this will turn out to be a good thing! Really good!!! In fact AMAZING!!!!
You will find you have some amazing new abilities. Don’t be afraid of it. It is a gift. Work on developing them more.
Meditation will help you lots.
I completely understand about it changing you in a way that you didn’t believe was possible.
It is a good thing. You will come to love it more and more!

You just have to be careful who you talk to about it. Lol!
Most do look at you like you have lost your marbles.

I would honestly love to talk to you more about it.
I made it so you can p.m me and do, anytime!
I am here if you need some help or want to talk about it more. When you are ready.

Much Love to you!

 

[Painful One]

Good news for me too!

I FINALLY got to the right specialist /doctor and I Don’t have brain damage. I have Narcolepsy!
While I am not overjoyed with that diagnosis, it is WAY better than I thought!
A different doctor told me that I had some horrific brain disease and I have thought I was dying of some terrible brain disease for years now! But nope, I am not! Turns out what they were seeing on my MRI is scar tissue and yeah, a bit of some white spots due to having Narcolepsy!

This new specialist assures me that he can get me from disabled back to a fully functioning human being!
I am overjoyed honestly! This is going to be a long road to full recovery but there is a WAY back to full recovery for me! YAY!!

I am already feeling much better with using Gabapentin and my chronic pain is breaking up.
I had 40 injections of Botox in my face, head, and neck last week for the migraine headaches.
I am getting movie star treatment!
I keep getting and looking younger every day!

 

[Painful One]

I also believe once you have one you are more likely, if not a given, to have them in the future. I used hundred of times for days and days on end without ever having the first spin out or hallucination. But the first time I did it was BAD and now I can pretty much count on it, and the its usually the first night. I know its coming though and I know what it is so I don't get too freaked out by it. I can convince myself its not real.

well, the experience that I and @tracedwards313 went through was MORE REAL than this life. I assure you.

so, be careful with the Meth my friend. It lowers your spiritual protection and leaves you wide open.